Financial Impact On Me Iif I Divorce Cheating Husband?

Tom_Saunders

I think that was a nasty post to put and would suggest you go and do something more constructive - like examine your payslip to check how much you really earn.

Constructive ? Like you making over 1500 posts on here in ten months or 300 in the past 6 weeks! .....sounds like you have either a very sad life with nothing to do or a very sad life......... GET A GRIP>

moo2moo

Who cares about the financial implications. When was the last time he had a HIV test? I'd be more concerned with whether or not he'd caught HIV or Hepatitis C or something else any or all of which could be inadvertently passed onto yourself or daughter. It only takes her to help daddy when hes cut himself. Could you live with that?

You have enough money in savings to buy yourself a car. You could work more hours or get a second job if you needed to. Would he put up with you standing under a street lamp whilst he stayed home doing the ironing??????

katiepops_2

I'm sorry that you find yourself in this horrible situation. I can totally understand why you feel that it would be easier to turn a blind eye to it - at the end of the day, it would be infinitely easier for you and less hassle. But I have to agree with everyone else, you need to get rid of him.

Like has been said, you need to start looking at amalgamating your own secret stash of money - what sort of business are you running? Is it something you could work on in the evenings if you managed to get a job outside of the home?

My other thought is, if he's earning money as an escort, is he declaring the income? Are you able to do some detective work to see if you can find out if he has been building up his own secret stash of money somewhere?

JoJoB

I hope you have saved screenshots and printouts of your husband offering his services by the way. Very important to have this evidence in the event of him turning nasty when you decide to remove yourself and daughter from this situation.

He has said he will fight you if you decide to divorce. That's why you must make sure you get evidence of his activities and keep this evidence safely with a solicitor. So you can easily prove unreasonable behaviour and also there would be no question about who gets custody - no judge is going to take a child from its mum's custody and give to a male prostitute are they?

You actually hold all the cards in this situation - he doesn't have a leg to stand on so no matter how much he threatens about "fighting" you there's actually nothing he can do other than with-hold what is pretty meagre financial support in the first place. Make sure you get some of your nest egg funds in a place that he can't syphon off before you embark on all this.

ceridwen

JoJoB

Now that is a VERY GOOD point.

miserly_mum

[QUOTE=JoJoB;9945995 no judge is going to take a child from its mum's custody and give to a male prostitute are they?
[/QUOTE]

I think the OP is missing the point that her Hubby is a Prostitute. Escort kinda makes it sound a bit more respectible.

On the bareback issue.....i'd be asking myself if he was a giver or a taker?

I would think offering to go bareback would be more enticing to male clients than female

A lot of gay men will pay over the odds for an "escort" who'll let them do the business without a condom.

*Louise*

OP - I don't get why you put up with it for 14 years?????

I know you said that he promised to stop 5 years ago...but that still means you had been letting him get away with it for 9 years....

No wonder he is still doing it - he doesn't think you are going to do anything about it. You need to stand up for yourself, gather evidenceand put away some money before making a move.

Your daughter desreves better than to see her mum humiliated in this way. If you found the stuff on the computer, then she could as well. Dunno about anyone else, but seeing my a graphic image of my Dad when I was a teen would have disturbed me for life!! :eek:


As for the 'bareback' well, I'm sorry to say it, but that just proves how little he thinks of you. The man has no respect and you would be well rid.

(((HUGS)))

swiss69

I cant even see why you are asking the question? I would rather sleep in a cardboard box everynight than live with someone like this. Why would anyone want to stay with a man who does this?

I am male but if my OH was sleeping with other men whether for money or not and posing naked on websites to attract men then there would only be one ending to the story and that would be she would be out of the door.

You are in a better position financially because you have a dependant child. Kick him out and take as much as you can from him....

blue_lady_2

You say he is working in a "good job" for the local authority at one point - but that he earns £11,000 pa at another point - so I am a bit confused £11,000 pa is awful pay - Minimum Wage or very little more than - so defo not a good job.


It's not for round here. We live in a slightly run down coastal town where work is very scarce and or seasonal and largely minimum wage. 8 quid+ an hour IS good wages for round here - believe me!


If that is all he is earning there isnt a hope in hell I'm afraid of him EVER giving up escort work. I'm sorry to say that - but on that poor level of income from his job he seriously needs to earn more money and if escort work is what he knows about then that is what he will do.

I'm sure he's not actually doing it now, but he is posting ads all over the Internet and THIS is the problem. I told him last time i he ever goes near it again it would be the end ... and he has.

There is also the non-monetary point about him offering his services "bareback" - yep, I'm pretty sure that means without a condom. Hence - he will be exposing you to all sorts of illness if you still sleep with him.

This is it. How can I ever go near him again now I know he's put this. Even if he has never done this, the doubt will always be there. The trust's gone - completely.

How much equity is there in the house?

35k (Well, less whn the bit of debt is paidd off, the HIP pack and estate agents fees if we were to sell. So I woudl say about 28-30k bottom line.

Even half the equity should buy you something - even if its only a home-type caravan in a caravan park it would frankly be a lot better bet than staying with this man.

Mmmm

blue_lady_2

Tom_Saunders wrote: »

TROLL................. this has got to be a wind up.

anyone who offers bareback and you would stay with them it total stupidity.

As for a good job £11k don't make me laugh. I'm a postie and earnt £26k last year. £11k, that's the wage for a teenager.

TROLL>.................

Cheers Mate. Makes me feel great that! Women forgive men a lot when they love and trust them. It's not always easy especially when kids are young (and we had another one with special needs who has lived with his dad for the last few years.) Also if you don't have a bean to your name in the early years and nowhere to go it's very diffiult. Very easy to just say 'leve the git' it's not always that simple.