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"Thevinternet's still in debt" diary
in Debt free diaries
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Fed up of having no money, and I may have just gone over my OD limit, incurring charges.
The house is a tip and I have no motivation to tidy it.
To top it all off, I fell over a few minutes ago and bruised my hip.
I am resisting the temptation to fall off my diet and go buy biscuits. However, I know rationally that overeating is not the answer. My diet is the one thing that is going well at the moment, so I don't want to sabotage it.
Now the OH is on his way home from work, and will expect cheeriness because it's the weekend. He will not get it.
Bring it on world. I'm not scared of you
Made a great veggie curry tonight, yummy and dead easy to make. Perfect for cold winter nights!
Went to the supermarket today, so it wasn't a NSD, but got away with only spending 30 quid so not bad. Got two shifts at work this weekend, which will be great, but it still feels like a really tight month. I must must get on and join those survey sites! Catching up on x-factor right now, but after that I plan to update the giant 'to-do' list which runs my life!
However, it turns out that what with the cost of tickets, hiring a gown, food and photos, graduating is pretty bloody expensive! So I am well over my OD limit again - not great, I will get charged now and I have no comeback for it. *sigh*. At least I have work tomorrow night, so I will just have to go to the bank on Sat and pay some cash in to stem the flow a bit. Naughty thevinternet.
Fabulous night tonight at work - a cheery boss, cheery work colleagues, cheery customers So I am in a superb mood now. I also came in and caught most of Hellboy 2 - I love that movie!
I must must must take my earnings from tonight and put it straight into the bank tomorrow - I am well over my OD limit now and they will skin me alive if not, as well as charging me the earth.
Also my next CC bills have come in, one is £13 to be paid by 5th Dec, the other is £156 to be paid by 12th Dec. I intend to pay more than that, but we'll see how it goes - I am yet to do any Xmas shopping so I'll have to try and budget for that too, although I will make some of them again this year if possible. The good news is that I now officially have a second job - just some local catering work, but it's during the day and therefore fits around my other job. Again it's on an 'as and when needed' basis rather than regular hours, but I am thrilled as every little helps at the moment!
Although money is going badly, I have started a new fitness regime, and that is going well. I never feel like I have all the ducks in a row, does anyone I wonder?!
My other half has not had a good year really.
1.He wants to change jobs but is really scared of doing it, and so he is performing the classic male ostrich 'head in sand' behaviour. 'I'll start looking for jobs next month' has been mentioned by him every month for the last year or so. Also he has been discussing a job change with me for the last 5 years.
2. He has put weight on, and he is trying to tackle this, but struggles with the diet side of things and will sometimes binge on sweets, takeaway after booze etc.
3. Like me, he is in a lot of debt, but I would say he has definitely not had his 'Lightbulb moment' yet. His debt is not decreasing. For instance, he is desperate to go on holiday next year and moaning about it. At least he is talking about doing it cheaply and going with his parents (so they would cover accommodation) but wants to put the remaining costs on a credit card. When I mentioned 'why don't you save for it instead?' (it would be about 500 quid) he looked at me like it would be completely impossible :think: even though it would be not until late summer next year. Yet he spends a lot on the gym, entertainment, nights out etc.
4. What is really worrying me is his drinking. He has had quite a few boozy nights out recently and has been really sick and hungover the next day. He also drinks wine or beer most evenings but then denies this when I gently tease him about it. I don't think he's an alcoholic, it's just that he can't seem to keep track of how much he drinks. I do wonder how much he is spending as (bless him) he is very generous and I suspect buys other people a lot of drinks too. He also finds it impossible to say no to alcohol when people offer him a drink, I've never once seen him say 'Oh, I'll just have a soft drink please' unless he is driving, I think he bows to peer pressure a lot. I am not a person easily influenced by my peers (was never the popular kid at school ), so I struggle to get my head round this.
I don't nag, and I try to help him as much as possible - I make him packed lunches for work, keep him up to date with the latest 0% deals on CCs, show him suitable job adverts, helped with CV etc. I have always believed in helping people to change by inspiring them rather than nagging them, but I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle here. He does cover a lot of the bills as he works a lot more than me and earns a lot more, but when we've gone through previous budgets etc he should still have a fair bit of disposable income, not be racking up more. His parents are very wealthy and he has been used to a certain 'standard of living', therefore he finds some things very hard to give up. I have finally got the household food budget under control but it has taken a long time - when we first met, he used to do his food shopping at Waitrose. Yes, it is lovely food - but if you can't afford it, then you can't afford it!
It sounds really cruel but I am beginning to think he is incapable of self-reflection and behavioural change. Instead he seems to drink to forget/avoid change. This is what his parents do too, so I can't blame him, but as I am a person who has changed and grown a lot since we got together, this worries me.
We have very different backgrounds, but I hate the idea of us growing apart even further.
Thanks for letting me vent!
Apparently there is a calculator on the nhs drinking website, where for a week you can log everything alcoholic you drink, just to get an idea of it. The temptation would be to downplay it, say you only had 2 beers not 4 for example. Have you shown him Martin's de-motivator, shown him he could save for the holiday in say 10 weeks if he cut out the drinking?
Debt September 20th 2022 £2991.68- 96.92% paid off
The demotivator is a great idea Dinah, I will give that a go. I know you can't force people to change, it's one of life's hardest lessons to learn I think!
Anyway, in other news I have a rotten cold but no work this weekend, so at least I won't have to call in sick. x
Congratulations on graduating and good luck in the job search.