Depression Support Thread

Diamond78

Morning All,
Hope everyone is well and good today.
SF are youok hun?

RBK, thank you hun for your lovely words. We are going to Bognor. We went last year for the first time, although i found it a bit boring, for kids is a great adventure so I am going to try and enjoy myself this time. It mkes me feel scared as I dont like to travel, Im scared in case I see anyone that Iknow from where I use to live. They ae the ppl that threatend me and harrassed me for months.If i do see anyone I will just call the police. I am so scared of being attacked again. dont like living in fear. Although they were issued with a harrasment warning, ppl like that are evil and wont let things go. The last thing tey said was they will find me and kill me.
My son was in tears again last night. He was watching gordon ramseys F word, i know he should of been asleep but hes having a lot of trouble with his sleep still. He saw gordon ramey and his son and burst into tears.He said I wish I had a dad. I said Im your dad darling he said I want a dad like gordon ...lol. He said I want you to have a boyfriend that can treat me like a son.It upsets me when he talks like that coz I know he is missing out. I asked him if he missed his dad and he said yes, then no. I said to him if you want to see him or talk to him you can and h said no coz he treats us bad and never does anything with me. Poor kid, his only 6 and its heartbreaking. I explained to him that its not easy having a boyfriend and I would want a boyfriend that will treat him good.
I havent told him about butlins yet.I told him I have a suprise for him next week.I have a hospital appointment in the morning for my back, so going to go from there.It will take atleast 3 hours to get there even though i live in London.So has been entering competitions on cartoon network to try and win a butlins holiday but without sucsess.It doesnt matter coz Ive booked us the break now.The only problem is that we leave on monday and his due back at school on monday. I asked the school before i booked it if he could have time off for a holiday and they said no.I dont know what to do now.I dont want to lie by saying his not well in case they come to the house or ask for a doctors note.

Anyway, hope everyone has a good and nice day.Sending you all hugs, love and kisses.xx

JayleighAnn

Didn't get a chance to come on yesterday, RBK, my hair is about 14inches with hair extensions in at the longest part (It's shorter on one side)

Feeling better today Bought new shoe's which lifted me a bit x

TangledMemories_2

Feel awful today...can't stop crying...just feel like giving up

LadyMorticia

Afternoon everyone.

Going to tidy my wardrobe....this may take a while....

xx

ilovegreatdanes

hi,
swept up and cleaned my windows.should really sort a sloping shelf out in pantry cos all the bottles and stuff keep rolling off but it will save.have washed all my kichen unit fronts today as well.am trying to keep busy tbh.think ive lost abit of weight....have the new denture to thank for this, i think.cant decide if its too loose so may need to go back.
dont really want to as everything associated with the dentist for me means pain and money....and panic attacks as i walk in.dh is on strange new shift patterns now so feel confused with it.started at 4 today till 1, so puts me all out, as i prefer to get stuff done in the morning.but he always wants waiting on til he goes.
nothing on tv tonite so may read a book or do some sudoku.seem to have loads of mags piled up, and im the type that must read them, just incase theres some info that i cant live without knowing....so i cant seem to just put them in the recycling bin.
maybe im abit obsessive/compulsive.i know im a terrible hoarder, thats one of my definite faults and a procrastinator, if thats a word.i always feel like im skiving if i read mags, even though i do learn some interesting and useful stuff from them.i get engrossed and wonder where the time goes then think what i could have done constructively with the time i think ive wasted.
anyway, im rambling as per.
it helps me to write these thoughts down, i find.although its probly really boring for you lot to read.so thanks for bearing with me.
diamond.....i know that your son will understand everything about your situation when hes older.its a lovely surprise for him and i really hope all goes great.you deserve it.xx
rkb....thanks for caring.xx
sf....i dont think you are stupid and im sure that one essay wont have spoilt all your hard work.its just a tiny setback and i know that you will learn from it and look back on it as just a hiccup.you should be really proud of yourself for getting so far and having the courage to keep going cos collage and uni are really hard.....but it will be so worthwhile in the end.if it was easy, everyone would be doing these courses so please believe in yourself cos we all do here.xx
ladym.....think the best thing might be to forget about sleeping and think of something else.then you will probly sleep for a week.good luck with the tidy.
hugs to all.take care.
love ilgd xx

shazrobo

diamond, my sons were, and still are same as your son, want mw to have a bf so they can have a father figure, does get easier as they get older, as they understand why they dont see there birth dad, hang in there hun, butlins sounds like a lovely suprise, hope you have a brill time.
rbk, glad to read you didnt sh the other night, i'm proud of you. had a trim, my hair is short and spiky.

had a bit of a down day today, went to the ultralase clinic, to check my suitability for eye surgery, i'm sick of wearing glasses, but was
told my eyesight is so poor, that the surgeons wouldnt operate, so i cried.
then this afternoon, josh's school rang, he has had a bad day behaviour wise, so he has to stay at home tommorrow, so again i cried. wish i could be stronger and hold back the tears, seem to get upset so easily.

big hugs all
shaz xxx

poppycracker

Good evening all

I've had a busy day shredding paper so as to not think about things... got a lovely card from someone we knew on Lewis this morning so had a little cry then.

It's a big help to have a change of hairstyle when you're in the middle of changing something in your life. I had my hair cut really short and coloured the weekend before the funeral, and feel a lot better for it.

(((((big hugs))))) to Diamond, RBK, Lady M, tangledmemories, shazrobo, sf, feely and ilgd, and everyone else who needs a hug.

Sugar_Coated_Owl

:wave: Evening all, Hope everyone is OK. I'm too tired to post much tonight.

top_drawer_2

slowlyfading wrote: »

God, I think I may have just ruined the last three years at uni. How am I going to explain it to my mum.....

Oh dear whats happened?

Uni is !!!!!! for me too at the moment too.

Jen

ilovegreatdanes

shaz....have you tried contact lenses.think you would be suitable for them and although its not the same,you wouldnt have to wear glasses.i have thought about eye surgery but have heard of lots of ppl who are not suitable despite what they say on tv.
i am shortsighted so am having to take off my glasses for close up stuff cos thats the benefit of being over 40 and shortsighted.dh has had to buy reading specs:D but i now have perfect sight close up.due to everyone getting split vision after 40. the op man told me....so swings and roundabouts.
used to realy pee me off when i was younger, but as i have aged, i have started to thank the man upstairs that although my eyes arent perfect ,at least im not blind.think the same about lots of stuff lately.been a bad 2 weeks for me but i suppose i could have been on hol to china instead of majorca, so although i had a near death experience, some of the chinese have lost everything, even their kids, so i think ccs and meyores poems hit a chord with me.
think i need a little carp thrown at me every so often to remind me of all the good stuff that comes with it,iykwim....thats my take on life anyway, maybe i was a buddhist in a past life, or john lennon:D
take care,
love ilgd xx