Depression Support Thread

Horasio

I feel stressed and a loss of confidence.

The postie put me off doing business in the loo (sorry about the tmi), so I have a headache and stomach ache. I had a very late night last night. I enjoyed it but paying for it today.

Went to the dentist and an old ugly woman really glared at me in the waiting room for no reason. I feel panicky in waiting rooms as I feel trapped with people who seem to stare and it makes me uncomfortable. I feel really fat and ugly just now too which only makes it worse if I feel people are staring, especially at my fat stomach and bum. I dress quite glamorously and feel put down for it. I feel men see me as a sex object and women hate me (jealous) - I had it when I lived in Oxford and it wasn't a problem in Edinburgh - they tend to let you be whoever you want to be. I felt I could be myself, same in the States, except some women glared at me there but felt I could stand up to them. I don't feel strong enough to overcome it here. I feel they treat anyone different like a !!!!!! child. People say they are jealous but it doesn't reassure me. I sometimes want to be invisible but why should I dress to fit in?

I had the feeling of being ill judged as a child when I lived in this area, maybe too many demons are appearing from my childhood. Maybe I should move away, too many ghosts. I do not wish to dress to please others but hate being ill judged for being me. I felt I never fitted in at school and got treated badly for being me. I am getting the same feeling here. My mother is glamourous and encouraged me to be the same but she has the strength to carry it off, sometimes I do but sometimes I don't. Today, I feel self conscious. I do wonder if it is a mistake coming back to my roots but it might help me face my demons. My OH messing with me isn't helping either. I can usually turn a situation round but after the other day I don't feel I have the strength.

My OH upset me the other day, the bruise is still there and hurts. I feel a mess and get no privacy. He is being very nice now but I feel sickened by him.

To add insult to injury (tho the dentist was very nice and felt she knew what she was doing) I had to pay out £220 just to register and check up for 3 people. I don't know how people afford the dentist these days but have put it off for a year as our dentist was a c**t over my emergency tooth break.

LadyMorticia

I'm not any good at advice at the moment Ccstar, but I am good at hugs. [[[[[[hugs]]]]]]

xx

Horasio

It is fine and thank you for the hugs - it helps writing it down.

Horasio

Does anyone notice that some women between the ages of 50-60 are the most uncomfortable to be near?

LadyMorticia

I do, Ccstar. I'm not sure why. It's only with some though, and I can't put my finger on the reason why.

LadyMorticia

I so need to get a lawnmower. =/

LadyMorticia

Plumbers just came. They have taken the humidifier (or de-humidifier. Not sure which.lol.) and are going to come back next week. I found out that I am going to get paid for having the humidifier though, because the leak wasn't my fault. Not sure how much yet, but every little helps.lol.
Then they are going to sort out about a new work top, new toilet system and having the bathroom replastered. =/

xx

slowlyfading

I just don't want to be a grown up anymore, I can't take it.

feelinggood_2

slowlyfading wrote: »

I just don't want to be a grown up anymore, I can't take it.

SF, are you okay? Has something happened?

I often wish I could go back to being a kid - no responsibility, no worries, no having to deal with 'grown-up' stuff - money, relationships and everything.

slowlyfading

feelinggood wrote: »

SF, are you okay? Has something happened?

I often wish I could go back to being a kid - no responsibility, no worries, no having to deal with 'grown-up' stuff - money, relationships and everything.

I'm just so worried about what I'm going to do after I graduate from uni in July, it scares the hell out of me.