Depression Support Thread

meyore

LadyMorticia wrote: »

I'm ok, but a little bit upset because somebody said something to me on another thread and I'm not sure if it was an insult or meant to be sarcastic but it was about something that I'm very insecure about. Probably just me being stupid though.

I don't think he meant to be mean, but he was just being ignorant like some blokes can be (((HUGS))) Hope you're ok Xx

LadyMorticia

Tulip wrote: »

:hello: Everyone,

I had a good day today,got my subway meal and enjoyed it loads then I went over to my dentist and saw him and got my teeth checked,have to go back for more dental work but it wont be too bad

hope you had fun playing bowling Shaz

too bad the plumber didnt come today LM bet that annoyed you loads.I got home to a call from South West Water wanting to read my meter and I read it to them over phone,it was my first time and I was proud of myself

love and light,

Katie xxx

Glad you had a good day. My goal for myself is to be able to order something from Subway and eat it. Might not seem like an achievement to a lot of people, but it certainly will be for me.

I was annoyed loads about the plumber. It was such a nice day today and I wanted to go out but couldn't because I was expecting the plumbers. Such is life, I guess.

Well done on reading the meter over the phone. That must have been such an achievement.

xx

LadyMorticia

meyore wrote: »

I don't think he meant to be mean, but he was just being ignorant like some blokes can be (((HUGS))) Hope you're ok Xx

Yeah. I'm too sensitive sometimes.lol. ****hugs****

xx

shazrobo

hiya katie, yes had lots fun bowling, hopefully going again next week.
i had a subway sandwhich today too, a bmt toasted yum
shaz x

LadyMorticia

shazrobo wrote: »

hiya katie, yes had lots fun bowling, hopefully going again next week.
i had a subway sandwhich today too, a bmt toasted yum
shaz x

What are the Subway prices like? We have a Subway here that is newly opened but I've never been inside.

xx

meyore

LadyMorticia wrote: »

Yeah. I'm too sensitive sometimes.lol. ****hugs****

xx

Don't worry, sensitivity is what makes you you... A lovely person

It may seem easier to be insensitive, but I don't think its preferable

Xx

LadyMorticia

meyore wrote: »

Don't worry, sensitivity is what makes you you... A lovely person

It may seem easier to be insensitive, but I don't think its preferable

Xx

You all make me smile on this thread.

I think it just upset me a bit because it was about a part of me that I feel upset about anyway. Whereas, if it was something I wasn't bothered about then I would have shrugged it off. My problem though.lol.

xx

Tiff_2

Hi guys!:hello:
And a very warm to tibbie's mum(tibbie) and to ceejayblue(cjb)! Thank you for posting guys. I hope you'll find all the help and support you need - you are most welcome here.
Talking of warm...How's everyone coping in the heat today? 23 degrees here in the Costa del Warwickshire, with 25 degrees predicted for tomorrow and the day after! :eek:
Therefore, in my capacity as Thread Cat (to our newer members - don't ask!), may I be the first to say...

IT'S TOO RUDDY HOT!!!


You try wearing a furcoat in this heat!

However, I will take this opportunity to wish sazzy (and her counsellor!), good luck with her counselling tonight. Keep up the good work angel.
Also for those of us who enjoy audio/visual in-home transmitted stimuli - or TV to you and me! - be aware that not only is Holby Kitty on tonight (katie-tulip loves that show ), but also later on...





Wait a minute..........that's not funny!_pale_ :eek:

Right, it's back to the coalface for the Tiffster. More hugs for sybil, sf, ladym, katie-tulip, fg, cc, diamond, ethel, elona, gem and meyore too.
Wishing everyone a peaceful evening.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

meyore

LadyMorticia wrote: »

You all make me smile on this thread.

I think it just upset me a bit because it was about a part of me that I feel upset about anyway. Whereas, if it was something I wasn't bothered about then I would have shrugged it off. My problem though.lol.

xx

We all have parts of us we hate

Tiff_2

Hi carmen!:hello:
Thank you for posting hun - I'm sorry you're caught up in such a tangle. You both obviously love your son very much and you're doing all you can for him - please remember that angel because there may be times when you wonder what else you could do, where it all went wrong etc. These are common thoughts for us parents sweetie, in such situations - and the answer is that there probably wasn't anything else you could have done, than what you are doing now, carmen.

quote=carmen
Six months ago my son (32)finally went to the Dr about his depression. He managed to see an understanding dr who chatted first before deciding on prescribing anti depressants. Within a few weeks my son became the person we all remembered but, he thought he was 'cured' and stopped taking them and he was soon back to square one. He was very lucky with his employers (he had lots of time off work) and once he admitted them the problem, they gave him another chance. Back on the medication he had been fine for the last couple of months, until this past week!
I'm sorry your son was so poorly angel. Seeing the dr and taking the anti-depressants obviously made a notable difference for him. Sadly, it's common for people to feel that they've been 'cured' when a treatment goes well and people stop taking their meds. It's usually a very steep learning curve back to realising that they aren't 'cured', as your son found out. I'm glad he went back to taking them again.

There's another side to this point. Nobody should stop taking their anti-depressants without their drs knowledge. God forbid that he has an accident and they look up his medical records and, thinking that he's still taking this ad, they avoid giving him a medication that could make all the difference. It is crucial that a dr knows if you've stopped taking a med so that the person can be monitored and so that their medical records can be updated. I'm glad his employers have been so supportive to him.


We had a phone call this morning to say he need a place to live, his partener has had enough. She has been so good during this whole episode and she just cannot do anymore for him. She has asked him to move out because it has become a daily battle 'like walking on egg shells'
We know he drinks too much (he says not) and he did admit this morning that he has taken drugs again (he managed to kick drugs 8 yrs ago) and also did not go into work last thursday and friday.
Okay hun, believe it or not, there is one very important positive here - he is still communicating with you! He's admitting that he's taking drugs again. It seems a little odd then that he refuses to admit he drinks too much. Some people can't understand that drinking too much is an addiction.
Another positive is that his OH obviously loves him. She mustn't feel bad about asking him to leave as this may be the wake up call he needs. What happened with work carmen - did they phone in sick to them? Has he gone in today? If he's working at a job where he might cause injury to himself or someone else, due to his alcohol/drug use, then it's probably a good idea to have a word with his employer. It must have been hell kicking the drug habit before, so all credit to him, but it'll probably be even harder the second time around, so the sooner he deals with this the better.

I want to help but, I do not know how!
The idea's racing through our minds are
Ask his employers (if he still has a job) for leave and he can live at our house for a few weeks ( we live quite a distance from them in a remote area) where we can keep him from the d&d's.
He could move in with a friend, and hope for some reconcilliation.
Or just let him get on with it
He really is a good person and we all love him dearly but, sometimes he just turns into someone not very nice.
There is a lot more to this but if anyone else has been/going through something similar, I would like to hear any suggestions that I have not considered. Thanks for reading Carmen x
quote=carmen
Bless your heart carmen - I really feel for you and the family.
The ideas you've had are good ones. In my humble opinion, moving back in with you is possibly the ideal, although not an easy option for you and his Dad, but the problem there is what happens when he goes back to the area, friends and temptations where he lives?
Moving in with a friend is a big ask - and you'd still be very worried about him.
As for letting him get on with it, sadly there can come a time where that's the only option left, if he won't seek help. But as a mother myself hunnie, I know how nearly impossible that would feel to do, whether it's the right thing to do or not.

quote=carmen
Gemini and Sazzy, thank you both for your helpful comments.
My son's drinking has been getting worse over the last few years, he says it helps him cope (they have had a rough few years) but he did ease off a little when he started to feel better on the medication. His drinking was always done in the house but now he is going to the pub with his 'friends' something he has never done without his partner, maybe that's how the drugs came back into his life.
He has been offered councelling, both at the Dr's and his place of employment but, he felt the meds would be enough. He is quite a shy person ( I was at his age) and finds it hard to chat to new people, unless he has had a drink!
Go gem and sazzy!
As I said in my reply to feddy, alcohol always causes more harm than good giving you a false sense of security and you are risking a very serious overdose situation if you mix alcohol, drugs and medication. I'm sure you know all this angel. You're a lady who's obviously done a lot of research into this whole situation, so I hope you don't think I'm preaching to you. You really need professional intervention here. Counselling is very hard work and you do feel vulnerable and in emotional pain as you work through your issues. But with the right professional, (and there are different levels of counselling), they will guide him through it gently. It takes a lot of guts and faith to accept counselling, but the rewards can be phenomenal for many people. Obviously, the meds aren't enough for him. Anything he tells the counsellor is strictly confidential. It sounds like his self-esteem is low if he needs a drink to talk to people - the right professional help can change all of that. Surely it would be worth him trying it?


I have just had a long chat to his partner. She is so distraught, saying he doing things which are so out of character for him damageing property!
The sad fact is that, as he's 32, nothing is going to work unless he is willing to accept your help. The only way he can be 'made' to accept help, is if he's a danger to himself or others, in which case you should contact the gp and/or the police and they will initiate an assessment. As he seems to be becoming aggressive, this may become an option at some point.

I've been down to the Tiff archives , and found these links through MIND, a well-established national mental health charity, which may tell you something you don't already know. They also have links to other organisations. I'm not a professional, so please use your own sound judgement carmen.

http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Factsheets/Carers/

http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/How+to/How+to+cope+as+a+carer.htm

http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/How+to/How+to+restrain+your+violent+impulses.htm

http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/Understanding/Understanding+addiction+and+dependency.htm

http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/Understanding/Understanding+depression.htm

http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/Understanding/Understanding+the+psychological+effects+of+street+drugs.htm

http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/Understanding/Understanding+talking+treatments.htm

http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Factsheets/Crisis+services/Crisis+Services+Factsheet.htm

http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Factsheets/Employment+and+benefits/Employing+People+With+Mental+Health+Problems.htm

I'm quite convinced that this is down to the drugs because drinking only ever made him happy.
She pleaded with me to take him to our house, so that he would be 'safe' and maybe get well enough to go back to them.She loves him still but does not like him at the moment.
I know depression is an awful thing, I took meds for 6 years but last year managed to wean off them. Mine was work related and once that was eliminated things got better slowly. I talk to my son about this and how it is possible to cope with the things that life throws at you.
One looks back to their childhood and worry that maybe something happened and this is the result but, he has assured me that he had a normal happy childhood. Now I am just rambling sorry.
Thanks for reading Carmen x
quote=carmen
Don't you worry about rambling angel - I've got it down to a fine art as you can see.
He's obviously got a very loving partner, which is wonderful. Having successfully fought depression yourself, you'll know that it takes various forms and is very much an individual illness. I'm glad that you were able to come out ahead hunnie.
I think that whatever the cause - if any - to DS's problems, they'll really only be uncovered through professional help. I'm sure you did everything you could to make your son's childhood the best it could be carmen. I'll remind you of the start of my post hunnie, where I said, you'll look for reasons and feel like you're to blame. Just a word of caution here sweetheart, don't get drawn into the blame or making comparisons spiral or it could end up making you ill again. Sometimes finding the solution, is better than finding the cause (if one exists): we tend to turn ourselves inside out trying to understand our mental ill health and that can make us feel worse.

I'm sorry for throwing all those links at you and I'm sorry too if I've not helped at all hunnie, but it's hard to point you in the right direction without knowing how your son is currently feeling. The best you can do sweetheart is to try and get him to see his dr and be as open as possible with them. Meanwhile carmen, I hope you'll keep us posted. Feel free to post any time hunnie. Keeping you in my thoughts angel.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx