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Confessions of a very tired old styler. Please join in.

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  • WelshWoofer
    WelshWoofer Posts: 5,076 Forumite
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    Just a quick bump for this hilarious thread!
    Thank you ladies!:rotfl:
  • bluebag
    bluebag Posts: 2,450 Forumite
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    Ironing is useless, the domestic appliance used for the job is woeful, it doesn't really iron. You have to push it and move the clothes ...rubbish. Fold carefully until they invent something that works properly.

    Shopping is dropped off in a supermarket van

    Junk cupboards should never be emptied, finding all that junk then adds complication of re-homing it, more work.

    You don't notice dust after the first three years collection.

    A meal plan is a list of food you will have to throw out, just keep the takeaway menus instead.

    Cleaning is an epic fail, it doesn't achieve anything permanent, it all has to be repeated.

    Curtains are to stop people seeing in, grime on curtains and windows increased the efficiency of this.

    Toys are for playing with, and tripping adults not putting in boxes.

    Anything left on the floor becomes invisible within 2 hours,

    Paper left in a pile multiplies, this is an absolute law of nature and genetic mutations can occur if interfered with.

    Shoes should be left under the coffee table as that is the easiest place to find them again.

    Sofa's need to be laid and sat on that's what they were designed for.

    Piles should never be disturbed, avalanches can be damaging to health.

    Beds should be full of crumbs and sheets scrunched up, this is it's natural state to which it will always return.
  • got-it-spend-it
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    bluebag wrote: »

    Cleaning is an epic fail, it doesn't achieve anything permanent, it all has to be repeated.

    This is really my main issue- if I could do it once and it stay that way, I would be willing to make more effort, but with my two monsters it never does!
    :DYummy mummy, runner, baker and procrastinator :p
  • pigpen
    pigpen Posts: 41,054 Forumite
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    I*r*o*n*I*n*g is a rude word.. completely banned in my house.. it is even ruder than the 4 letter word starting with C that is saved for the occasions when the XH excels at being a knob.

    Cleaning is counted as self harm... you half kill yourself making things habitable in one room while the demons trash the entire rest of the house.. completely thankless pointless task.. yet we still do it.. mostly.

    Shoes/toys are strategically placed to counter burglars.. they dare to come in they won't be getting out as they will break their neck on the obstacles!

    There was research done into the accumulation of dust many years ago.. apparently if it is left undisturbed for 6 months it doesn't get any worse.. and of course, a layer of dust protects the surface beneath.. and makes it easy to see when small people have been places they shouldn't be :p
    LB moment 10/06 Debt Free date 6/6/14
    Hope to be debt free until the day I die
    Mortgage-free Wannabee (05/08/30)
    6/6/14 £72,454.65 (5.65% int.)
    08/12/2023 £33602.00 (4.81% int.)
  • bluebag
    bluebag Posts: 2,450 Forumite
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    [QUOTE=pigpen;62931500

    There was research done into the accumulation of dust many years ago.. apparently if it is left undisturbed for 6 months it doesn't get any worse.. and of course, a layer of dust protects the surface beneath.. and makes it easy to see when small people have been places they shouldn't be :p[/QUOTE]

    AND 'big' ones :rotfl:
  • bluebag
    bluebag Posts: 2,450 Forumite
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    On a more serious note....

    Is there an answer or solution to all this pigpennery? I don't know. I know I have been searching for some way to do this for the best part of 40 years.

    My mum was an amazing cleaner, did it for a job for some years and still could have a tin of paint opened and half the living room painted before I could summon up the energy to peel out of my PJ's.
    She would do incredible things while I just got tired watching her. I wasn't even brow beaten into cleaning as a child either so that's not the reason I loathe it so much.

    I don't mind some domestic goddess tasks, I enjoy cooking sometimes and food shopping and simple gardening, but really I don't find joy in very much of it.

    My best friend has a show home.... seriously, it looks like a photographer for Home magazine could drop in for a shoot at any time. I would have to treat him like a bailiff!

    I love a clean and tidy home, but I loathe cleaning and decorating with every fibre of my body. I have to have a list of stuff to do each day to barely keep it hygienic and functioning on the most basic level.

    Is there an answer to this? Is there some magic routine or method that would sort it out for me? I am not like this in any other area of my life.

    Seriously, I have often thought I have something missing that makes me hate it all so much.

    Maybe I need to treat it like the camping I love so much and keep it mega minimal, god I wish I knew.
  • peaceandfreedom
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    I'm glad you said that! My curtains have been up 6 years and i've never washed them either

    Our sitting-room curtains went up 20 years ago and have never been taken down since. Rank I know but I also know they can't be washed. To quote Ade from The Young Ones - it's only the stubborn understains that are holding them together. Can't afford new ones, they have to be custom made, they'll have to stay put.

    Also the revolting carpet tiles in our utility-room that I swore would have to be ripped up immediately are also there 20 years later. :whistle:

    This thread has been a real tonic this evening, I've been away from MSE for a while and I'd forgotten how sometimes a thread can make me cry with laughter. :rotfl:
  • bluebag
    bluebag Posts: 2,450 Forumite
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    Our sitting-room curtains went up 20 years ago and have never been taken down since. Rank I know but I also know they can't be washed. To quote Ade from The Young Ones - it's only the stubborn understains that are holding them together. Can't afford new ones, they have to be custom made, they'll have to stay put.

    Also the revolting carpet tiles in our utility-room that I swore would have to be ripped up immediately are also there 20 years later. :whistle:

    This thread has been a real tonic this evening, I've been away from MSE for a while and I'd forgotten how sometimes a thread can make me cry with laughter. :rotfl:

    It is so good to know I'm not alone too. If I find a supply of cleaning fairies I promise to share.
  • homesteadchick
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    bluebag wrote: »
    On a more serious note....


    Seriously, I have often thought I have something missing that makes me hate it all so much.

    Maybe I need to treat it like the camping I love so much and keep it mega minimal, god I wish I knew.



    I hear ya!
    I've been struggling with this my entire adult life! And I've been beating myself up over it as well! I HATE myself for not being able to do it.
    Sometimes I think there is indeed something 'wrong' in my head.
    I can think about what I'm going to do for hours... but somehow it never gets done!

    I love my house to be tidy an clean and organised, but I just can't make it happen.
    Most I get done is one room.. and then I'm tired and fed up for weeks...so the rest of the house gets worse, and the one tidy and lovely area slowly deteriorates back into the state of slobness..

    I'm always battling teenagers to clean up their mess... and to do their chores properly... i.e: doing the dishes involves more than just banging the dishwasher on....

    and I hear myself nagging them on a daily basis...
    I hate that!
    I don't want to be like that!!

    :mad:

    can the magic fairy come over and sprinkle me with some cleaning/organising fairy dust please?


    (sorry about the rant)
  • skintmumof3
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    gotta bump up this brilliant thread..............
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