Only myself to blame

firesidemaid

i wanted to offer some support and perhaps ideas to help you with your goal.

besides chocolate is there anything else that you always seem to spend money on? you could think about how long it will take you to earn the money that you spend or what percentage of your debt you are NOT paying off by spending it.

we allow ourselves some pocket money each week - but actually i try not to spend it and then pay it back into my account to transfer off the credit card. OH always spends all his:rolleyes:....

if you shop in tesco or asda, they will take any money off coupons as long as they sell the item - you do not have to buy the item - look out for coupons in mags/papers at work or on customer service desks. asda take 10% off your bill, in tescos i will use £5-6 of coupons off a £10-12 bill. go for the 'youngsters', they are very helpful.

have you got stuff you can ebay or car boot too?

make yourself a spreadsheet or similar so you can see your debt come down in chunks eg. £500 or £1000 - work out by what dates you want to aim for what goals - it then becomes very motivating to reach your goals earlier than expected!

good luck x

Jelly_Babies

Thank you firesidemaid

The only vice I have apart from chocolate is running, needless to say the two don't go hand in hand :rolleyes: I have stopped buying magazines, do not go out as much as all of our friends are having young children so we tend to socialise at people's houses etc.

Re tescos, I use the discount vouchers from the vouchers board and am saving up my coupons for a free months shop or see whatever deal comes along.

I have got all my debts in whatsthecost and I need to look at that more often for the necessary kick up the !!!!. My and the kids are going to spend the weekend looking for ebay stuff with a promise to DD that she can have a share of the money as there are tons of clothes and toys they don't play with.

I do have a weakness for buying clothes and the only way I can combat this is to leave my cards in the freezer I think. I was very very naughty and used my Next account which I hadn't touched since last May, I had asked them last year to close it and then received a directory and discovered they hadn't. Very cross with myself and have written them a letter asking them to close it and complaining why they didn't do this last time.

I honestly believe that I spend money when I am down, I saw a counsellor many years ago about how down I have felt in the past. Am ashamed to say that many many years ago I attempted suicide due to personal problems, fortunately my parents found me in time but it is something I struggle to come to terms with even now and carry a lot of guilt as to what I put my parents through. Only appreciated how they must have felt once I became a parent myself.

I am very able of putting on a smiley face when inside I am thoroughly fed up as it is what people expect of me. My outlet to sadness seems to be to spend money. In truth I am a very insecure person, but people on the outside see me as a career woman, my husband sees me as his rock who holds it all together and the kids see me as the parent who makes them toe the line. I have pretended I am ok for far too long to now break down, I feel I am expected to be ok. Am completely rambling on now, sorry.................

firesidemaid

re. tesco clubcard vouchers - this would be a way to pay for holidays in future. eg. £250 in vouchers = £1000 in deals.

i now love primark - i pick and choose (and mix with other stuff), but you can get so much for your money in there, and some cool stuff too.

also, i have now found some very good buys (often new) in charity shops for men, women, kids and other bits. find some favourite cheaper ones near to where you live or work.

the one thing you could do if you do find yourself down and buying clothes - is just to take them back again a few days later!

you also sound like a really lovely hard-working genuine person. do you get enough 'me' time? i take it you really enjoy your running? it's easy enough for me to say try not to let things get to you, especially the things that you can't do anything about, but try. take care x

Jelly_Babies

Had a nice cheap day. Ate the lunch I took in, boss took us for a drink after work and I went on condition he paid Had to pop to shop for some running essentials but I only spent £9 and I really did need them and I resisted looking around anything else.

The main account card is still in the freezer and that has meant I cannot spend money as the card isn't there and I pnly have the card for the account with very little money in. I really hope I can keep this up.

Painting eggs and making cakes with whatever we have in tomorrow so the kids should be pretty well occupied. No plans for spending this weekend. Still have change in my purse from £10 I withdrew on Monday and hope to keep it that way.

Off to do some surveys now......

hypno06

You sound as though you have well and truly gotten back onto this wagon!!

Welcome back aboard :T

Jelly_Babies

Thank you Hypno, you do "know" me but I've had to creep back due to exposure :mad: Ah well, teach me to be more careful about saying too much!

findingmyownway

I wouldn't class running as a vice! I am a runner too and like to consider it as a virtue haha. Race entries can be expensive though i know :rolleyes:

Well done for locking away the cards, thats a big step.

You sound like a very genuine person. The problems you describe will ring true for many people on here - we all have our reasons for over spending but a lot usually come down to insecurity and 'comfort'. I know exactly what you mean about being 'expected' to be ok. I feel the same, i think its a curse of the modern woman balancing career, family and relationship. Not to mention fitting in extended family, friends etc - its easy to forget about YOUR needs. I find running helps with this, even when time is really tight if i get the little ones cycling along side i still find its better than not going at all.

Good luck

findingmyownway

Jelly_Babies wrote: »

Thank you Hypno, you do "know" me but I've had to creep back due to exposure :mad: Ah well, teach me to be more careful about saying too much!

Sorry to hear you have had problems with the 'real world' finding out your ID. Was your old username easy to identify you? I don't think you'll have the same problem with the current one.

Buffythedebtslayer

Hi Jelly Babies

You sound like you are going great guns, sod the pains in the neck low lives who want to be scum.

I worry about people finding out about me on here, with my username people would know me immediately, no one knows about my debts apart from you lot, I feel bad sometimes cos I tihnk this site might help a couple of my friends, but I won't tell them in case they "find" me! sad eh?

any how really wanted to say that you are doing well so hang in there and keep posting
xxxxxxxxxxxxx

hypno06

Jelly_Babies wrote: »

Thank you Hypno, you do "know" me but I've had to creep back due to exposure :mad: Ah well, teach me to be more careful about saying too much!

Ooh blimey, now I have to try and work out who you are.....

**hypno rushes off to read archived posts**