Only myself to blame

boredofbeingathome

So sorry that the person who outed you was like that.you were doing he or she a favour by pointing them in the direction of this site. I did the same with a friend of mine, they said they were going to try and find me! If they do and start talking then i find it is a two way street and they will get the same treatment.
I have found this site great for advice and support, and please keep posting and s*d anyone else who is negative about it.

bank_of_slate

boredofbeingathome wrote: »

So sorry that the person who outed you was like that.you were doing he or she a favour by pointing them in the direction of this site. I did the same with a friend of mine, they said they were going to try and find me! If they do and start talking then i find it is a two way street and they will get the same treatment.
I have found this site great for advice and support, and please keep posting and s*d anyone else who is negative about it.

Here here! (said in stuck up, right wing old bloke with handlebar moustache and yellow stains on undies politician voice)

...Linda xx

ltm07

Jelly_Babies wrote: »

I posted here last year and received some fantastic advice, sporadically posting on and off, starting diaries and then abandoning them, making promises to do what I can to reduce my debt and make a concerted effort. The short of it is I have failed miserably.

I feel that embarrassed I have even changed my username as all you good people who advised me will just be very annoyed I would imagine.

Have been in my own little bubble but it's about to burst me thinks. Feel utterly ashamed, read diaries such as Immoral Angel, Hypno, Pania, Karmacat, who are fighting their way out of debt and I think that by chucking a specific amount at it every month will suffice. I have the debt on 0% deals and a fixed loan, so in my head I am lazy and think as long as I overpay on them every month it's fine.

I am also in that "head in sand" group that thinks I "deserve" a holiday because me and my partner work hard, earn good money and why shouldn't we? The simple answer is staring me in the face, we live beyond our means, don't wait for anything and think it will all work itself out.

I have two young children and I so want to provide them with some form of security in the future and I have to do this for them. I would love to sleep at night without worrying about how we will manage until pay day.

This week, inadvertently I left my two debit cards at home and never got round to putting them in my bag and I have shown that I can spend nothing.

I want to start posting again, as this was the only way I seemed able to keep things in control this year and made some real headway. It was the only time I slept well at night and the only time I felt I had to justify every penny I spent. One of the reasons I stopped posting as much was someone from the "real world" recognised me and made light of my situation (well in fact took the p$ss out of me ) and I realised I was revealing too much about me. So if I am cagey then I apologise but I really really do want to do this.

I have already made some friends on here who may "remember" me as time goes on and I post and I apologise in advance for being stupid, irresponsible and going by the wayside.

My current situation is that I owe just over £57,000 :eek: and I am paying the first loan off at just short of £300 per month and paying the CC's off at a fixed rate of £600. At the moment all the cards are 0%. I have gone through all my expenditure and cut back where possible. My problem is I MUST stop spending on anything other than necessities. We earn good money and debt free we would have a fortune left over, but I am not debt free and I am living beyond my means.

I am back to basics with shopping and strict weekly budget.

Please be kind, I fear this really is my last chance. This is not a self pitying post, this is me saying I am stupid, buried my head in the sand and stopped tryinfg and I really want and need to do it this time.

Hi,good luck with dealing with your debts. However don't beat yourself up too much,you DO deserve a holiday,just try & make it a DFW one. All the best.

anniestar

Welcome back hun. To be honest most of us have slip ups from time to time. BUT.......The wonderful thing about this board is that people understand. I mean really understand. Things happen. The most important thing is that you want to get sorted out. Reading your posts make me believe that you will be successful. You are doing well. Its such a fantastic forum. The gang are all great. I have been away for a bit due to illness and "stuff" and my goodness i have missed them all. Keep posting and we will all be here with you every step of the way. Good luck.
EDIT: By the way you are NOT stupid. Far from it.

phoenixchick

You wouldn't be human if you didn't slip up occasionally. The fact that you say you are in a better position now than 12 months ago shows that even when you were 'off the wagon' you still made changes. Good luck!

elona

Jelly babies

You have nothing to be ashamed about! Unlike the "waste of space" who upset you publicly.

Her OH may have come into money but that does not mean she cannot get into a financial mess herself at some point. Ill health, job loss or bad investments can happen to anyone.

It is so unfair that a kind gesture by you (in naming MSE) should have had such consequences.

You can hold your head up high as you are trying to sort out your problem by yourself and not hanging onto someone elses inheritance to do it.

I really hope the "person" you mention is not a regular at Old Style as I would hate to think we were all treating her as "nice" IYKWIM.

Big hug and the best of luck.

Jelly_Babies

Thank you for yet more kind comments. I have come home feeling a little lighter and not as depressed today. I have had a chat with OH after my email to him and explained how we really need to tighten up - his friend owes him £55 and he just keeps saying he'll ask him for it later, but we need it now. This would buy a weeks worth of food and mean I wouldn't have to use the credit card this month.

I did end up spending some money in the Co-Op on the way home, but I'm going to dig out my spending diary again and OH has agreed that we will keep receipts from everything and put them in a tin and look at them at the end of the month. Think this may be what he needs to do to realise how much money is wasted every month. He is due a bonus at the beginning of this month and I had had such high hopes of paying it off a debt but it will in all reality go towards paying the rest of the holiday that we just shouldn't have booked.

Have just checked my snowballing and currently my DFD is just over 5 years, I really want to get it done a lot quicker and may even consider a second job of sorts. Only problem is Husband works away a lot, I tried AQA but it was just too time consuming.

I'm going to sit down later and look at my SOA again "just in case", and see if I can be more realistic with my budget so that I don't fall off the wagon so spectacularly again!

Cannot believe the relief that has been brought on by posting, this morning I was looking at the dreaded consolidation :eek: as I was getting more and more worried about not being able to get any more 0% credit card when my current ones ran out, now I have calmed down I can see what a foolish thing this would have been to do.

Have already run the idea of painting and hiding easter eggs from the kids and they loved it, so we will paint them on Friday and seek them on Sunday, nice and cheap. Thankyou so so much.

Jelly_Babies

Finally ready to go off to bed where hopefully I will sleep better :rolleyes: Have made sandwiches for tomorrow's lunch and also spent most of the night making two huge batches of soup which I will freeze so that me and OH can have them for lunch over the next week.

Spending diary in my bag, Tesco emergency CC and bills Debit card in the freezer - bless OH he got them out for me as he thought I was losing it and put them there by accident. There is only £40 in the joint account and I don't intend to transfer anymore there before payday so it has to last. Simple as!

OH has also been in touch with friend re £55 we are owed. Tomorrow I will revert back to Pigsback and surveys.

Onwards and upwards!

thevinternet

Jelly_Babies wrote: »

Finally ready to go off to bed where hopefully I will sleep better :rolleyes: Have made sandwiches for tomorrow's lunch and also spent most of the night making two huge batches of soup which I will freeze so that me and OH can have them for lunch over the next week.

Spending diary in my bag, Tesco emergency CC and bills Debit card in the freezer - bless OH he got them out for me as he thought I was losing it and put them there by accident. There is only £40 in the joint account and I don't intend to transfer anymore there before payday so it has to last. Simple as!

OH has also been in touch with friend re £55 we are owed. Tomorrow I will revert back to Pigsback and surveys.

Onwards and upwards!

Well done you! You are on the right steps. I've only been here a short time, but I find that posting regularly really helps me stick to my financial goals.
Have you discovered the bingo yet? If you've been away for a while, you may have missed it. It's not gambling as you use free bets given to you by the bingo companies as a joining bonus. It's a little time consuming too, and is kind of a one-off thing, but has made me a tidy sum this month.

Best of luck,
V xx

Jelly_Babies

:hello: I have noticed the posts about Bingo but I just seem to have so much to do and so little time I haven't got round to doing it. May investigate it more this weekend as we haven't got much planned.

Slept a little better last night, still woke up in the early hours worrying about silly stuff though, and things are so much more magnified in the middle of the night as well.