Ever felt like your life unravelling?

jon_E_begood

Apologies for what is basically a rant to let off some built up steam..

Everything at the moment seems to be unravelling for me and really just feel like running away..

Redundancy is on the cards at work and at best i'll be forced into a job i dont want/like..I get home and get grief from my oh as we're getting wed but she's spent 6 months looking for venues any one of which was good enough for me but none of which were upto her standards. So she's found one which happens to be the most expensive and £4k over our budget. I've pointed this out and suggested we have a smaller d at the venue but theres no compriising and i'm an idiot. The ring i bought her (and skinted myself for) is also now "not good enough" as its the wwrong material and needs cleaning which is my fauly as i suggested she get it in that material. I've also recently started a small business so i come home from work and try to work on that inbetween arguements and pressure..

My friend is going travelling around the world in a few months...at one point last week i was ready to take redundancy, jack everything in and join him... Arrgh!

Think thats a bit better....for now....

Noctu

Mate... why on EARTH are you still with this girl?!

(just to clarify - read the past posts!)

skylight

I think I would join him too.

I know that its her "big day" but its yours too. As the stronger person in my now defunct relationship - YOU MUST TAKE A STAND WITH HER NOW or spend the rest of your married life under the thumb.... Perhaps if OH has been "firmer" with me from day one then perhaps he would be happier now.

destiny_star2006

sounds like you need to get away for a bit i say take redundancy jack everything and go hopefully when you get back ure gf will realise the material things arent important xxx god im !!!!!y today xxx

Little_Chicken

Hey - don't be too hard on yourself, sounds like you've got a lot on your plate at the mo. Seems that includes a Bridezilla. Maybe suggest going to Vegas just the two of you, after all getting married is about the two of you - nothing else. And definitely not the ring. I think some of the people are being bit hasty in suggesting you run away...you must've loved this girl to propose in the first place?!?!?! But if you really fancy a break and don't do it you'll only resent her in the long fun. As they say, life's too short for regrets.

Somerset

I've just read the other posts too. Either :

a) pre-marriage jitters
b) you and your bride-to-be are not compatable
c) you are not ready to settle down and be 'tied' to wife/work/bills for the forseeable future.

Tick whichever box applies.

rosie-marie

Ditto Somerset. Why do weddings often turn into very stressful situations? I was married on £1000 budget and it was a fantastic day. Unfortunately women get rather obsessed with tiny details and making it perfect that they often feel a bit cheated on the day - then when the credit card bills start rolling in.........:eek:

belfastgirl23

I'd be asking her how she is going to afford to pay for this all because as she knows you are being made redundant and will not have the money to pay for half of it all. Might give her some pause for thought?

But TBH if this is how things are I don't think I'd be marrying her at all personally...

floss2

Or is she planning to spend the redundancy cheque on the wedding....?

I think you need to do the sums & write it all down, then sit her down & giver her a reality check - how much you realistically expect to get (ask your payorll department), what you will earn in a new job & what she brings into the household, what needs to be paid (bills, mortgage etc), then what she wants for the wedding. Don't forget, you ain't Wayne Rooney (I think ) so she shouldn't expect the Coleen wedding.

Maybe she is feeling a little nervous & thinks that by throwing loads of money at the wedding it will make the rest of your lives perfect? People can change their minds, but don't always say so because they are worried about upsetting the other half..... I think you need to talk to each other.

Noctu

I don't want to sound funny but I would urge people to read the past posts that Jon has made concerning this girl, before they reply.
It's harrowing reading!

haylibo

Time to think reallllyyyy hard about what YOU want. You think this is your life unravelling? You should be sorting it out with gf now before it's years down the line, you have two kids, one income and she's spending it faster than you can earn it. I would guess that's the road you're on.
We've all become a little conditioned to measure our own worth by the value of our stuff be it cars, houses, hols, weddings etc and your GF is no different from the rest of us but things can quickly get out of control. Time for a bit of soul searching and a good talk with the GF about how strongly you feel. If she knew how close this was pushing you to bolting it would hopefully wake her up.