Lending money to friends & family

GDB2222

wirral_woman wrote: »

I too have lent money to a 'friend' £1500 for a holiday. she has since payed me £400 back tho she says its £500 and only £100 of that is in the last twelve months.
She has changed her number and blocked me from facebook so the only way i have of contacting her is at her place of work.
I have dropped a letter in there and it seemed to work, i received £50 for two months but now it has stopped again. i have facebook messages from her admitting she owes me the money and bank statements of the money i did get back.
I am not sure where she is living now so dont know if i can take her to court for it.
I really dont want to take her to court but i see no other option as she obviously doesnt want to pay me back.
why is it that we feel bad and yet we are the ones that have done no wrong?

Doesn't want to pay you back, or can't? You can issue proceedings to her last known address. Use https://www.moneyclaimsonline.gov.uk

wirral_woman

thank you. Its not that she cant afford as she is going to america on holiday in a couple of weeks. cheeky, i know!!

GDB2222

Then issue proceedings and put yourself at the top of her list of payment priorities.

montymouse

Totally brilliant thread! And makes sober reading.

My first experiences of people borrowing and lending money was more to due with lack of availability of a cashpoint than not actually having money. People borrowed fivers and paid back fivers - usually no problems.

But I think my first experience of someone totally trying to take advantage was when I arranged a holiday with a "best friend". She said she was a bit short of money, so I (like a fool) offered to subsidise the trip a bit. She had been ill on and off for a while, and appeared to have a legitimate reason for being short of money, although in work.

Not only did I stump up the plane fare, but it seemed like whenever we took a bus, taxi, or went to a bar, it seemed to be expected that I would pay.

Then two weeks after our trip, she went back to the same area of Europe, on her own, and put in an offer on a cottage that she had spotted. Not so short of money then, eh?

I decided to ask for my money back. It took months of delay on her part, but eventually I got it back.

I am now far more wary, particularly as I have since had a couple more bad experiences:

Friend decides to set up business making clothes from a particular type of textile which I send to him. I was dubious, but decided to help him get his business off the ground on the proviso that he pay me back. I buy the textiles and send it to him. Meanwhile his plans to make the clothes collapse because he falls out with business partner. He starts to pay me back in instalments, but then gives up, and I never see the rest of the money again.

Or how about this one:

I get invited to party about 250 miles away from where I live. It is supposed to be a surprise birthday party for a friend, but actually she knows about it and is planning it. Her Mum then phones me with a ten item shopping list, and asks me to get enough food for fifteen people! Naturally I decide not to go to the party after all - the shopping would have cost about £100 or more.

You live and learn.

Jaspersmum

I would say that if you lend any amount of money to a friend or relative, don't expect to see it again.

I very stupidly lent a family member £25,000 who was in a terrible financial mess - going to loose house etc etc.

I have had back £3.5k so far but am not hopeful for any more - I took away the urgency of the situation for them and they feel no need to be in a rush to pay it back - hence the 5 holidays her husband has had since I lent it to them!!

It has caused massive problems between me and my husband, who blames me - because it is my family and not his!

I would honestly say that if I was in a position where I had borrowed from anyone - friend, family etc I would do everything in my power to pay it back, to thank them for the trust they put in me!!

Unfortunately the family member involved does not feel the same!!

Please proceed with extreme caution when lending money - please learn from my expensive mistake!!

*Louise*

25k? Wow :eek::eek::eek:

I could never have loaned that without something legal in place. (And something important as collateral)

It's so much harder when it's a family mmber though, you tend to want to do whatever you can to help out.

cos_2

I've just one experience of a loan to a relative, although she actually is my ex wife!

Last year she contacted me as she was having lots of debt problems. She was also looking to get early retirement from her work and this would give her a lump sum payment. I was aware of what was happening at her work and knew there was a good chance she would get that retirement deal.

She was close to the point of losing her house through mortgage default, and I think she had other loans as well. We met to discuss things and I agreed to talk with my wife to see if we could help. I was willing to do so and my wife agreed.

I transferred the cash to my ex a couple of days later, and asked if she would give me a note to explain her liability to me. She agreed to do so but, to be honest, her financial issues continued and I believe she forgot.

Long story short, this year she got her early retirement and she was eager to ask me for my bank details so she could repay the loan. It all went through fine.

I'm not exactly sure what point I'm trying to make. I think it's that you may have a good idea of how likely the debt is to be repaid, because you know the person. I trusted my ex wife's word. We'd been married for nearly 20 years.

If you don't have that trust then just don't.

Pari5ian

GDB2222 wrote: »

Doesn't want to pay you back, or can't? You can issue proceedings to her last known address. Use www.moneyclaimsonline.gov.uk

Hi, what if you suspect that the person who owes you money is no longer at the address? Is it a lost cause then?

Thanks

GDB2222

Pari5ian wrote: »

Hi, what if you suspect that the person who owes you money is no longer at the address? Is it a lost cause then?

Thanks

You can issue proceedings to that address, and you'll win by default. However, that is only the start of the process. Something like 60% of County Court judgements are never paid. If you do not know where they live, you will have difficulty enforcing the judgement. Likewise, if they have no money, you cannot get water out of a stone.

geoffky

Pari5ian wrote: »

Hi, what if you suspect that the person who owes you money is no longer at the address? Is it a lost cause then?

Thanks

ITS sometimes better as they will not defend the claim as they do not know about it ,,,then find out the real address to send in the high court bailiffs...or use a tracing service...