Lending money to friends & family

MrGT

So like many people in this thread I'm in a position where I have loaned money out to a Family member and basically I'm in a bit of a mess. I'm not interested in getting the Family member to pay the money back as I see that as a lost cause at the moment (they are basically getting themselves into a bigger mess but I need to look after myself), but I want to try and pay off some of the debt I have incurred as quickly as possible.

At the moment I have a Barclay Card with about £4000 on it and I'm in my overdraft by around £1500. I've heard about these super balance transfer cards, would these be a good idea for combine the total debt and then I can pay it off as quickly as I can?

RichHughes88

I made a similar mistake once, and I never saw my money again.

I'd seriously consider going through a small claims court though, you never know.

As grafitytolls said, it's nice to see someone with enough faith in humanity that they will actually trust someone enough to borrow money to them in the first place.

You're not the bad guy, but I'm sure you already know that.

John_Pierpoint

GDB2222 wrote: »

They needed a handout. Okay?

..........because they are fe3ckless and irresponsible.

We are talking about a situation where someone is "sponging", not a situation where someone is in dire need.

They may have some personal problem, like an addiction, but that is not my problem.

GDB2222

John_Pierpoint wrote: »

..........because they are fe3ckless and irresponsible.

We are talking about a situation where someone is "sponging", not a situation where someone is in dire need.

They may have some personal problem, like an addiction, but that is not my problem.

I think that you need to give your irony detector a really good service.

up-north-eng

Hi all, I'm looking for some advice on behalf of my mother. There's a long back story to it which i wont go into but the situation was as follows. After selling her home my mum moved into a rented property and had her share of the proceeds from her house sale in her bank account with some in a savings acc. Her sister found herself in some financial difficulty and borrowed money against her house which she then couldnt pay off. In her hour of need my mam offered to pay it off for her and she could pay it back to her instead. All sounds simple enough.........
She paid off the loan over the phone for her (5k approx), this is where it gets tricky....after 4 years not one penny has been paid back. Whenever my mam asks (they no longer speak) for her money back my aunt says "when she sells her house" (this was supposed to be when her youngest child turns 18 which was 6months ago and the house isnt even on the market yet). According to my mam though the original (verbal) agreement was that when her car loan had finished (6 months after the loan occured) she would simply carry on paying that amount to my mam(200 pm). Now they no longer speak, the whole family is divided, my aunt shreiks at anyone who mentions it and the money is nowhere to be seen. What makes things worse is that my mam has been ill for 4-5 years, has had to live off the money she made off her house and now has nothing left. I've even had to loan her money to get her car fixed and she gets about 65 quid pw to live off on a council estate while my aunt lives in her 170'000 pound house in the country with her new fella and her children live at their dads.

GDB2222

GDB2222 wrote: »

My advice if somebody asks you to lend them money is to give it to them as a gift. If it is more than you would be willing to give them, then it's too much to lend.

Same advice applies in this case.

upset.and.lied.to

Hi
I have encountered a similar situation.

I was contacted by Cheryl - reporting her partner had taken a dodgy loan and they were just about to have their property taken. Her father has since reported to me that this is a lie. I also think other people have lent her money, as I am not an obvious first choice to ask for money. I paid this £8000 debt by credit card to what turned out to be kennels. She intially promised to pay me the next week from her savings of £18000.

I am also concerned that in my long list of texts, emails and phone calls from her that she has definately lied to me. Excuses for non payment include telling me that her bank had frozen her account, that she had taken a loan but there were issues due to previous identity theft etc.

I think she has somehow also done something illegal. I received calls from her bank (HSBC) - who I have no account with. I believe that the first was from her 'branch' to explain to me the delay in her funds entering my account. Also from 'head office' to arrange a meeting to transfer money and explain why problems had occurred. However when I went into a local branch of my HSBC they told me the number was their call centre and that their call centre would never call me as I am not a customer. I am sure this is fraudulent and criminal.

However I dont know what to do - ideally I want mine and any other money back - but I am amazed from other responses that actually it seems to pay to be a criminal.

Cheryl has a large house (rented), a horse, 4 dogs, a land rover, a motor bike - I seem to be paying for a lifestyle for her that she doesnt want to pay for herself (she does have a job). I however seem unable with our justice system to be able to get my money back with any certainty.

Sad and in need of advice.:(

chubsta

upset.and.lied.to wrote: »

Hi
I paid this £8000 debt by credit card to what turned out to be kennels. She intially promised to pay me the next week from her savings of £18000.(

I know this isn't going to help but surely the fact she supposedly had £18000 in savings but needed you to pay her debt for her should have rung some alarm bells?

As you will probably see from so many posts here, you have pretty much zero chance of ever seeing the money again, you basically gifted her 8grand...

GDB2222

There are a couple of things that you can do easily and cheaply.

The 1st is to go to the police and allege fraud. Once they have heard your story about being misled, they may possibly take up your case. More likely, they will tell you it is a civil matter and they cannot do anything about it. Still, it is worth a try.

The 2nd option is to commence a claim in the County Court. I suggest that you claim only £5000, as this is the maximum claim in the small claims track. You can do this yourself, without involving a solicitor. Either get the court forms and fill them in manually, or use the money claims online website. You will have to pay some court fees, but this is only about £100. I have to warn that, even though you win your case, you may still have trouble collecting the money.

wirral_woman

I too have lent money to a 'friend' £1500 for a holiday. she has since payed me £400 back tho she says its £500 and only £100 of that is in the last twelve months.
She has changed her number and blocked me from facebook so the only way i have of contacting her is at her place of work.
I have dropped a letter in there and it seemed to work, i received £50 for two months but now it has stopped again. i have facebook messages from her admitting she owes me the money and bank statements of the money i did get back.
I am not sure where she is living now so dont know if i can take her to court for it.
I really dont want to take her to court but i see no other option as she obviously doesnt want to pay me back.
why is it that we feel bad and yet we are the ones that have done no wrong?