Lending money to friends & family

billy_bulldog

jennihen wrote: »

I'd start with Facebook, Friends Reunited . . . . Then I'd be stuck!!

I found them and sent a message and added them back as a friend on facebook, but that all relies on their compliance, and even then it doesn't give me an address (which is what i'm really after). What it might give me at least is a town or employer, which should give me a clue as to their whereabouts.

If they don't comply with my request to pay me back, I need some way of directing either the courts or a debt collector to them.

Bigbear_2

Hi there,

dont despare, I did exactly the same thing, my ex hounded me for over 12 months ( scare tactics) ensuring I wouldnt try to get my money back.

But I finally plucked up the courage to do something about it and will be attending court Nov 09 to pursue all the money I lent him.

Two ways to look at it-
1. live your life wondering what if you had tried
2. Try and if you fail at least you`ve tried

will let you know of my outcome- fingers crossed.......

Treacle wrote: »

I find it reassuring to hear these stories instead of thinking I’m the only soft touch around! A few years ago I lent my boyfriend at the time a good few thousand without any backup apart from it being a bank transfer. I knew at the time it was a very stupid thing to do, but didn’t want to believe someone so ‘close’ would have any intention of pulling a fast one! I was put under a lot of pressure and felt mean not to help him! I have never looked into getting it back, apart from asking him on the occasions he phones me, which usually results in the conversation being upbruptly ended by a dead phoneline!! I’d love to be wrong, but I think fighting for it back will not be worth the stress. He’s a clued up guy with chums in the right places - I think if I push him I’ll never get it back.. It doesn’t even make me mad, I can’t be bitter as it was stupid of me to do!. I’m annoyed with myself for handing it out so easily, but I live believing what comes around goes around. I’d like to say I wouldn’t be caught again, but truth be known it’s difficult to change the type of person you are, I’m a very giving person by nature and I’m sure if another ‘friend’ was in a desperate situation, chances are I’d probably do it again. Some people just never learn!!!

jennihen

billy_bulldog wrote: »

I found them and sent a message and added them back as a friend on facebook, but that all relies on their compliance, and even then it doesn't give me an address (which is what i'm really after). What it might give me at least is a town or employer, which should give me a clue as to their whereabouts.

If they don't comply with my request to pay me back, I need some way of directing either the courts or a debt collector to them.

It was a shot in the dark but I'm amazed at how much personnal info peeps post about themselves - keep watching that space!!
JH

vgdg

hi all
i posted originally in june about my mum lending my-ex husband thousands of pounds 15 years ago..
i was worried the loan was time barred, he'd go bankcrupt, the courts would favour his side, we didn't really have the money to pursue thru the courts - but really felt that if we didn't try we would regret it.. well we have since had our first hearing where i represented my mum (no i'm not a lawyer at all) and the courts were brilliant, the judge advised me on what to do, dismissed the time barred motion by the defendant (he did have a lawyer) as the odd payments had been made but nothing since 2006. the judge even questioned if the defendant could afford a lawyer why didn't he pay his debt. We have to go back again, but it has put him in a poistion where he hs to pay mums costs court fees £540, my time off work in defending her, plus the full money borrowed, plus interest accrued over the years - this has meant he has made an ofer to settle out of court and whilst its not the full amount at 71yrs my mu doesn't want to go back to court and i'm hopefull we can agree rather than go back, but we will not walk away with less than what is owed, so faith in justice is restored for us, and what comes around goes around!

also try 192.com or online :Tpublic records search. for finding people onine

thanks for everyones advice so far!
vgdg

vgdg

hi all
i posted originally in june about my mum lending my-ex husband thousands of pounds 15 years ago..
i was worried the loan was time barred, he'd go bankcrupt, the courts would favour his side, we didn't really have the money to pursue thru the courts - but really felt that if we didn't try we would regret it.. well we have since had our first hearing where i represented my mum (no i'm not a lawyer at all) and the courts were brilliant, the judge advised me on what to do, dismissed the time barred motion by the defendant (he did have a lawyer) as the odd payments had been made but nothing since 2006. the judge even questioned if the defendant could afford a lawyer why didn't he pay his debt. We have to go back again, but it has put him in a poistion where he hs to pay mums costs court fees £540, my time off work in defending her, plus the full money borrowed, plus interest accrued over the years - this has meant he has made an ofer to settle out of court and whilst its not the full amount at 71yrs my mu doesn't want to go back to court and i'm hopefull we can agree rather than go back, but we will not walk away with less than what is owed, so faith in justice is restored for us, and what comes around goes around!

also try 192.com or public people searchfor finding people onine

thanks for everyones advice so far!
vgdg

Kazipoo

I have a catalogue that I don't allow anyone else to buy from, last Christmas, my friend was in a bit of a tiz because she couldn't afford to buy her grandson anything for Christmas. I took pity, and with the cashback on my account, I allowed her to choose something for her grandson. It was £48 in total, and as I say, because it was a cashback order, its not something I have to pay, however, she has made no attempt to pay it back to me whatsoever. Stupidly, I also lent her £50 because her husband lost his job and she didn't have any money for gas, electric or food. She assured me that we would get it back when they got a refund from council tax that they were due, but this never happened. Her hubby is still out of work, and they have to live off the pittance that the government allow, and she keeps reminding me that she knows she owes me money, but she has never made any attempt to pay me back. We are not especially close friends, but I do have a soft spot for her because she has a good heart, but I wonder whether I should ask her to pay me a few quid every week until it is all repayed. Any ideas??

luckoma

hi
I lent my friend araound £10.000 and she sign for me papers that she will pay all the money by christmas.
but now she told me in front of others that she cant give me my money back.
i know addres of her work her bank details her photo copy of passport etc.
and i know how much she get payed which is one of the best payed work in uk because shes working for goverment.

what shuld i do next? where shuld i get any help ?
please any replay
or on my email Lusasz@yahoo.co.uk

maz1964

Kazipoo wrote: »

I have a catalogue that I don't allow anyone else to buy from, last Christmas, my friend was in a bit of a tiz because she couldn't afford to buy her grandson anything for Christmas. I took pity, and with the cashback on my account, I allowed her to choose something for her grandson. It was £48 in total, and as I say, because it was a cashback order, its not something I have to pay, however, she has made no attempt to pay it back to me whatsoever. Stupidly, I also lent her £50 because her husband lost his job and she didn't have any money for gas, electric or food. She assured me that we would get it back when they got a refund from council tax that they were due, but this never happened. Her hubby is still out of work, and they have to live off the pittance that the government allow, and she keeps reminding me that she knows she owes me money, but she has never made any attempt to pay me back. We are not especially close friends, but I do have a soft spot for her because she has a good heart, but I wonder whether I should ask her to pay me a few quid every week until it is all repayed. Any ideas??

hiya Kazipoo

i think that could work out for you but perhaps ask if she has online banking i know even with basic accounts you can have it, i have on my co op account, this way then she can on a weekly basis send you a payment even if it was a pound or two a week and she got into a habit of doing it weekly then it will soon be paid off and it would also show that she is being genuine about paying it back

if she sets up the online payment first for a 1.00 and then checks with you first to ensure you have got it into your account okay then she can continue to send and you could update her every 6 weeks to confirm what is still outstanding and hopefully it will be paid back asap for both yourselves

hope that works if not then another idea, if she buys you say if you shop at asda - shopping stamps, on a card then when she has reached 20 pounds to give you the card and start again, this way is another way of showing you she wants to pay you back,

just a few mad ideas of mine, to make it nice and easy for them to do and for you to not feel so powerless and get your money back somehow

take care for now maz

Danniboi_2

pennymakespounds wrote: »

not sure if this is right board..

member of our family "lent" couple of £thousand to a "friend" to fund something....
which didn't happen .. and guy has made himself completely uncontactable . Apparantely he's done similar with couple of other people

Whilst probably classed as my own stupid fault for just handing over cash .. last thing we expected was this .. from a supposedly "best friend" .
What legal actions can i take .. or "legal threats" can i make to try and get him to realise i'm seriously wanting my money back.

if you can get a solicter, he should be able to help you take it to the small claims court. also they will be able to track him down. You might have to pay for the fee's and the court but if you win he will have to pay all this back to you.

there is something you can do, most peole think that you cant but you can. also did you tell the police? and does anyone know you leant him the money? did you give it in cash? or credit card etc as these can also raise a dispute.

Dont give up, good luck

oh also if you can find out if he has ripped others off, get them all to back you up at court, they might get something back to.

it is against the law what he has done, you just need to right solicter.

liquidroof_2

Really strange when I came to know about these stories.