Lending money to friends & family

Antispam

liquidroof links in signatures arent allowed

Antispam

Harry you quoted the idiots url

gasgas_2

Again not sure if posting in correct area.

Here is a quick outline would appreciate your comments.
I lent a friend of mine £1000.00 by cheque 1 year ago last xmas to help him through bad period with the verbal agreement that he would pay me back when he got paid from an industrial accident settlement claim that could take anytime upto 1 year for him to receive.He has now received his settlement cheque ,but when I asked him if he can now repay me ,he says that he has spent it all and that he thought my loan a gift, where do I stand legally and can I get back my money.He has ignored my last two emails requesting that he pays me back?

harryhound

It is a pity you did not write "this is a loan" on the back of the cheque.

I would have asked for an undated cheque at the time as a form of security.

You could then have sued on the cheque (practically worth more than 100 GBP) but remember you cannot get blood out of a stone.

I think you are now in the unenviable situation of begging for your own money back.

Itsey

Hi Everyone!
I've tried to read all the pages on this topic, but it's too long(( maybe this question was already discussed, but..
I'm new to this forum and would like some advice and opinions on a situation i have come across.
I have a very big family and a lot of fiends, i always try to help everybody in their problems, I like it, but sometimes everything going down especially if my help should be material, i can't say no to a friend when he/she needs help. I lend money,... I lend it to everybody who asks, it's my problem. It's ok when lending them, but not when getting it back. I lend money in case when I know or sure that a person will turn it back, or even don't wait for paying back. But still, i'm working hard to hand out money... and nothing's left for my own living.
If you have ever loaned money to a family member and they failed to paid you back, you are undoubtedly familiar with my situation. Of course personal relashionships suffer from borrowing and lending of money between family members and friends. It is only natural that family members might want to help each other out by lending money if they are able. And what about me, who'll help me?
One of my friends called me and he asked a huge sum of money urgently. I got up at midnight and helped him. He asked me 1 week time to pay back. I am having all of his contact numbers.
About two months gone. The next week onwards from the day i gave money, both his numbers are out of service. Guys what should i do in such situations? i am feeling bitter.
Thanks for reading a long long story!

Mr.Mulla

Sometimes, it would be good not to lend friends or families any money. It's not that I am greedy or something. But most of the time, loaning or lending people who are close to you just ruin the relationship you have with that person.

I have 2 close friends who had an argument because of lending money and ended up ruining their friendship. It was hard for me because they are my friends. So there came a point where I promised myself not to lend ANYONE any money unless it is really an emergency. It is important to really learn how to say NO to someone.

LIAM

After reading many of these stories, I think the majority are soft touches, in my opinion its easier to just say "no, Im very sorry but I cant afford to" Its very hard initially, but once you have answered No a couple of times, people generally stop asking.

If you feel the need to lend/help people out of the mire, only lend them what you would be prepared to give them, therefore there will be no surprises once they turn to you and say I cant pay you back for whatever reason.

seven-day-weekend

I would not lend anybody any money.

I would give it as a gift (maybe) or I would pay a bill or something for them and not expect the money back. I would most certainly not lend it/give it just so they could buy Christmas presents or go on holiday!!

I have on one occasion lent my son a small (£100) amount which he paid back. I have also given him cash as gifts to help him out as he does not earn much.

But lending vasts amount to all and sundry? No way.

maz1964

hiya all

after my own post some time ago, ive read others views and now in the position for myself of being in the position of realising and the knowledge of hindsight

i can say that experience shows you lots of stuff and you learn so much from it, the only thing i can now do is to not repeat my mistakes again

in truth on reflection of what i did to help a friend who i honestly thought was on the verge of losing her house i helped her out, but now almost 3 years on , the same scenario has happened almost a further 4 times and i havent helped out but ive seen he scrambling at others for money and final eviction i was present and that really made me understand it all in one go, had i known what i knew on the eviction day i would never have lent her any money but i cannot beat myself up over it. She was evicted but then the money from others arrived and he got her keys back and thus her house back, but it was a very close call

from this actuall experience, i have now understood that i was another person in a long line of creditors that have helped her out and my feelings are now of anger of being duped, of being taken for a ride, for being lied to and im really disappointed with my friendship with her, she says she will get me my money back, ie pay my credit card debts off ,but its caused me to have defaults and debt collection agencies chasing me as i cannot pay her debts as well as my own

What i finally want to say is - i have learnt a big lesson and yes i will never do it again but i was quite ill at the time and wasnt thinking clearly and for that she knew and i will never forgive her for taking advantage of my vulnerability at that time but i realised now she didnt think of me but of just saving her house, i guess that was far more important

Now, i realise i have to deal with these debts she has promised once her credit file is clean she will clear her debts with me, but i really cannot believe her i just hope she follows through, but my credit file is shot to peices and i have to start gaining momentum in getting it sorted as i now cannot get any credit and the chance of getting a better mortgage rate is possibley nil

i just wanted to show to others, really think about what you do for someone, and either pay a bill for someone and give it as a gift freely or accept you may never get that money back, if you do fab you can say you helped someone in need and feel great about it

i just want to see what happens this year, well possibly in the next 6 months if i get my money back fab, if not , this will not ruin my life but i will have learnt a huge lesson from it all

keep positive everyone, i now realise i have to take responsibilty for myself and do the best i can for me and my family -

keep happy cheers for reading but please all learn something from my experience maz:)

Itsey

Guys! Hello!
So I've posted my situation a little bit earlier . And I received an answer, rather interesting but I've never thought about that and never used it before. I'm talking about agreement. It reminds me the situation with marriage agreement, some people think that it's very reliable and it's needed for people not to be dealing with money affairs thier in marriage jsut feelings, but the other part is against, cause it's not morally ethic, as when you document your financial status and money affairs gives an idea this marriage won't prolong too much , just before ahead you give a doubt to the marriage. The statistics shows us that those who did it, are more confident and the marriages are also strong, so it doesn't influence their relations. So what about the same situation as for lending money and loans, should we make it documented anyway? I think it's awesome. You are sure that you will get your money back according to the agreement.
Please, share your ideas;)
thanx