Lending money to friends & family

stclair

Gosh don't talk to me about lending people money.

I lent my friend £50.00 end the of June so she would have enough to cover a bill. I didn't ask for the money back straight away, as I know she was skint as she`s been off work the past 3 months and only getting SSP.

I reminded the person last month that I would need the money soon as I was moving house and had to pay a months rent plus a months deposit. She said oh that wont be a problem. Reminded her again 2 weeks ago and same story oh yeah that's fine you can get it back in plenty of time.

I texted her saturday and said you got that £50.00 as ill need it for tuesday (day i'm moving). She's says yesterday "im sorry but i had an unexpected bill come out my account so i'm skint now i'm sorry. (bearing in mind she was out all last weekend on the !!!!).

I said could you lend it of someone else so you can return it too me she said no she couldn't think of anyone she could ask.

This now leaves me in a position as i'm skint myself and had to lend money myself now from the BANK OF MOM.

I then got an ear bending from my mom saying "you work in a bank" and you cant even manage your own finances lol

REALLY ANNOYING.

If anyone even asks me for a penny in the future the answer will be NO.

ayush_2

hi...
I can relate to it.. as something like this happened to me as well:mad:

anonymous12345_2

reading through the threads brings back bad memories of the same thing happening to a close friend of mine. he cashed up the months earnings at his business and stupidly lent it to a friend of his who was strapped financially. it's now almost 5 years down the line and this b**tard short man so-called friend of his is saying he is not going to pay back this huge amount of money.

it makes my blood boil and i hope that he dies a slow horrific death. for the amount of stress related illnesses he has caused my friend he deserves it. i am not being evil in any way when i say that as i don't have a horrible bone in my body. but for this particular incident this so-called friend needs to learn a lesson. really thinking of ways to get revenge. any advice?

Decyfa

I'm glad I found this thread...Twice I've been taken for a mug, what have I learnt fromt this...Never lend anybody money no matter the sob story. First incident was around 2 years ago. A friend of mine lost her job and had around 800 pound debt to pay..stupidly I lent her the 800 pound out ofa 2.5k trust fund I'd recieved and she then done a runner with the money never heard from her since.

2nd Incident this year girl I was dating was sacked from her job..very long story. owed 200 pound council tax..again here I come knight in shining armour bail her out, and everytime I asked for the money back I was made to be the bad person..till the point I was like forget it and forget you.

It's a really expensive lesson to learn..and it hurts because I enjoy helping people, but now my trust is broken and I very much doubt I'd lend anyone money fullstop..Feels good to get it off my chest :rotfl:

ambyence

Lessons I have learned too late, from being too nice for my own good and helping out two friends on separate occasions.
1) Only lend money to people you don't like very much, that way if they do a runner you will at least have got them out of your life. There's a saying that if you lend someone money, and never see them again, it was probably worth it. (Obviously this is a lot easier to rationalise if it's a fiver rather than £30K!)
2) Don't lend more than you can afford to lose.
3) If you tell people you have savings, somebody, somewhere will seek you out for loan.
4) If anyone ever asks you to borrow money, consider why they need the money / are in debt in the first place. If no bank will lend them money, why should you?
5) Just because someone is your friend it doesn't mean they will always pay you on time. In fact they may well behave worse, because they may just assume you'll understand that it's Christmas/their mum's birthday/they really needed a new bag this month.
6) Lending people money may give you a warm fuzzy feeling inside for a bit but that warm fuzzy feeling will not be able to heat your home over the winter while you are waiting to be paid back, neither will karma, although it might make you feel a bit better momentarily.
7) Real friends will pay you back in the end. Users will not. (I got one of each.)
8) I probably still would lend money to a friend in need in the future (if I ever get out of the debt left behind by the now ex-friend), so I am quite possibly stupid and probably shouldn't be listened to.

UnluckyT

I also have learnt the hard way not to lend money to so called friends who have refused to pay me back and then droped off the face of the planed. Plus family who claimed they thought it was a gift before reluctantly giving it back-several years later?
I also agree that its probably the best idea to tell too many people if at all possible if you have money for savings as has been said.
My rule now is dare i say is i dont lend and i dont borrow, i might one day but i try my damdest to not get into the situation that id need to.

mariagrafs

Its very sad to face this situation from your husband, but you did a right job by filing it in court, atleast now he will not be able to sleep peacefully.

vgdg wrote: »

Hi - i'm a first time user, and hopefully doing this right?

i have read the heartbreaking stories and am not feeling so stupid as i did 5 mins ago, but am unsure on the 'what hope have i got?' front..

i am feeling very responsible, my exhusband was lent by my parents over £10k 15 yrs ago - he paid some back it was down to 8k, but he has failed to keep to all repayment agreements - no payments have been made since 2005. In an effort to get it back, my parents are 71 & 81 and my dad is hopefully waiting for the allclear from major cancer surgery, they are on a state pension, and have remortgaged home to a 'pay backill when u die' company as have been unable to invest the 10k 15yrs ago.
My mum is brill and made my ex sign for the money at the time, which we still have originals for - to cut a long story shorter, we have applied to the courts and requested interest, he has defended the claim saying he thought it was paid, it was interest free and anyway he is subject to iva - all three of his business' have been put in 2nd wife name.. he owns a limo hire co, a mobile phone shop and a car alarm tracker company..
the courts want £200 to transfer proceedings to local court (in addition to the inital £340 to start )and have started quoting civil procedure rules? is it worth paying and pursuing or should we forget it and get over it?? i find it very difficult as he is always flashing money about to kids, and obviously they no nothing (i don't want them in therapy!!) please help i feel they will never get there money back and its all my fault...
i don't know how he sleeps at night

I_know_my_ABC_and_my_CMYK

anonymous12345 wrote: »

reading through the threads brings back bad memories of the same thing happening to a close friend of mine. he cashed up the months earnings at his business and stupidly lent it to a friend of his who was strapped financially. it's now almost 5 years down the line and this b**tard short man so-called friend of his is saying he is not going to pay back this huge amount of money.

it makes my blood boil and i hope that he dies a slow horrific death. for the amount of stress related illnesses he has caused my friend he deserves it. i am not being evil in any way when i say that as i don't have a horrible bone in my body. but for this particular incident this so-called friend needs to learn a lesson. really thinking of ways to get revenge. any advice?

What a horrible thing to say about someone, regardless of whether or not they owe money.

I hope this doesn't come back to haunt you.

As foe advice, It's for your friend to deal with as the money was lent from them, not you.

billy_bulldog

Are there any good search engines/people finders that I could use in order to track down an old (so called) friend that I lent money to back in 2007? They have since moved at least twice, I only have an address that is at least 18 months out of date, and even that was just a rented room in a shared house.

Many thanks

jennihen

I'd start with Facebook, Friends Reunited . . . . Then I'd be stuck!!