Lending money to friends & family

mrsbudget

actually, it is for my cousin and i feel really bad not to help him and his family, they are hard working couple and have stable jobs. i just dont know how to say no to them.

Will really have to think hard about this,,though I appreciate your concern and I really want to say thanks.

maz1964

mrsbudget wrote: »

actually, it is for my cousin and i feel really bad not to help him and his family, they are hard working couple and have stable jobs. i just dont know how to say no to them.

Will really have to think hard about this,,though I appreciate your concern and I really want to say thanks.

hiya mrs budget,,,,then do you have a solicitor friend that could draw up a letter of a contract and make it legal as such, that you are lending your cousin this amount of money and thus will expect a certain amount of money to be paid back each month and be cleared by a certain time, what i m really trying you to avoid at all costs you being left with any debt, but to have a binding contract of some sort that your cousins would understand too that its in both your best interests to write down exactly what the expectations of what is being loaned and how its going to be paid back

as you say they both have stable jobs and hopefully always will have but should god forbid one of them does lose their job, its another scenario to consider

i thank you for your thanks and again i can only speak from my experience and hopefully others learn the pitfalls - i just wish someone had opened up the pitfalls to me way back, but hindsight is a lovely word today, doenst really help me in my problems but i make sure others dont fall down like i have

keep positive and the only other thing i can suggest is could they be part of a local credit union, they could join up, and pay an amount and thus then eventually down to their credit union a loan could be given depending on their savings amount and regular savings pattern, just a thought for the near future wont help as an immediate resolution though

have fun maz

vgdg

Hi - i'm a first time user, and hopefully doing this right?

i have read the heartbreaking stories and am not feeling so stupid as i did 5 mins ago, but am unsure on the 'what hope have i got?' front..

i am feeling very responsible, my exhusband was lent by my parents over £10k 15 yrs ago - he paid some back it was down to 8k, but he has failed to keep to all repayment agreements - no payments have been made since 2005. In an effort to get it back, my parents are 71 & 81 and my dad is hopefully waiting for the allclear from major cancer surgery, they are on a state pension, and have remortgaged home to a 'pay backill when u die' company as have been unable to invest the 10k 15yrs ago.
My mum is brill and made my ex sign for the money at the time, which we still have originals for - to cut a long story shorter, we have applied to the courts and requested interest, he has defended the claim saying he thought it was paid, it was interest free and anyway he is subject to iva - all three of his business' have been put in 2nd wife name.. he owns a limo hire co, a mobile phone shop and a car alarm tracker company..
the courts want £200 to transfer proceedings to local court (in addition to the inital £340 to start )and have started quoting civil procedure rules? is it worth paying and pursuing or should we forget it and get over it?? i find it very difficult as he is always flashing money about to kids, and obviously they no nothing (i don't want them in therapy!!) please help i feel they will never get there money back and its all my fault...
i don't know how he sleeps at night

I_know_my_ABC_and_my_CMYK

BabyBetty wrote: »

Just found out that a close friend took out a loan of £12,000 for her sister and also lent her £6,000 (which she had in cash). The sister is paying back the loan each month. Also my friend has a credit agreement for a course for £4,665 which she has to pay by August 2009 - if she does not pay this in full the cost goes up to £9,665, with payments of £200 until it is paid off. My friend was hoping to get a loan to pay off the £4,665 before the due date but got declined on 3 credits cards.

There is another issue that she is very likely to be dismissed on 8th May 2009.

I actually thought of helping her with the loan situation by dumping her debt on one of the cards that I don't use. Whilst I have know her for 35 years, I am trying to deal with my own debts and trying to keep focused.

As much as I love her, I feel that she needs to deal with the situation herself. I will be there to support her but not financially.

Well done for not giving in:T My motto is deal with your own debts first as I got caught lending 1k to my brothers wife 15 years ago and £500 to his tax bill. I still to date haven't got the full amount back and she even turned round to me one day when I asked for my monthly payment and said what money I don't know anything about any money. We don't speak anymore and I have nothing to do with my brother anymore either. There is a saying life is too short but it becomes very long when certain members of your family stab you in the back in more ways then one and interfere in your life just because they think they have the right to..:rolleyes:

I_know_my_ABC_and_my_CMYK

vgdg wrote: »

Hi - i'm a first time user, and hopefully doing this right?

i have read the heartbreaking stories and am not feeling so stupid as i did 5 mins ago, but am unsure on the 'what hope have i got?' front..

i am feeling very responsible, my exhusband was lent by my parents over £10k 15 yrs ago - he paid some back it was down to 8k, but he has failed to keep to all repayment agreements - no payments have been made since 2005. In an effort to get it back, my parents are 71 & 81 and my dad is hopefully waiting for the allclear from major cancer surgery, they are on a state pension, and have remortgaged home to a 'pay backill when u die' company as have been unable to invest the 10k 15yrs ago.
My mum is brill and made my ex sign for the money at the time, which we still have originals for - to cut a long story shorter, we have applied to the courts and requested interest, he has defended the claim saying he thought it was paid, it was interest free and anyway he is subject to iva - all three of his business' have been put in 2nd wife name.. he owns a limo hire co, a mobile phone shop and a car alarm tracker company..
the courts want £200 to transfer proceedings to local court (in addition to the inital £340 to start )and have started quoting civil procedure rules? is it worth paying and pursuing or should we forget it and get over it?? i find it very difficult as he is always flashing money about to kids, and obviously they no nothing (i don't want them in therapy!!) please help i feel they will never get there money back and its all my fault...
i don't know how he sleeps at night

What a horrible situation. I'm not too sure whether it would be any use going through the courts as it's over 6 years and debts become statute barred after 6, The chances are he probably knows this. Would it not be possible to write an emotional letter to him that would give him a guilt complex? Play on your fathers illness and mums worries about money etc. It might be worth a shot, but only write the truth not that they are facing bankruptcy due to him is they aren't. It may just work. I'm sure someone else will have more knowledge on the 6 year rule with 'family' debts. I hope your dads feeling better and things go earsier for them and they get the money back. Sometimes having a business which looks proffitable doesn't always mean it is, but good luck with it.

lovel01

It's not so easy just to lend a hard-earned money.We must take into consideration the things we must prioritize before lending.

Abbafan1972

Went to read this thread and didn't realise at first it originates from 2005!

stan92

Not a great deal can be done in my opinion
Sorry

hattiefats

It's a real shame but money does funny things to some folks. It's sadly easier for some people to borrow from friends and family and feel less obliged to pay it back than they would a bank loan or credit card.I have lent money a few times to family and there was only one occasion where I wasn't paid back but that was enough to make sure I never do it again. I guess the general rule is if you can't afford not to get it back don't lend it out!

rictus123

Iv lent my mum £300, it feels good helping but think il feel bad when taking it back??