Lending money to friends & family

shelovestobuystuff

I have only read the first page so just a quick comment and some advise based on my experience of lending money to friends or family,I apologise if the remainder of the thread makes this comment void.
If you cant afford to lose it then dont do it.I know now that I am unlikely to get it back so if any of them ask in future I will know they are asking for a cash gift and only give it if I think they really need it and I can afford not to see the money again.

Personally if I needed money I would do everything I could to get it myself and would never resort to begging.I cant understand why my family think its okay to ask me for money as I wouldnt dream of asking them.If I ever need cash I sell something I own. Theres plenty ways to earn extra money without begging,car boot sale,wash cars,babysit,get a few hours work cleaning.

I guess some people just have a different mentality.If they need something its a case of who will give me it rather than how can I get it myself.

ally58

That is true i can see it now i suppose i couldnt see it coming and i am left in this mess

shelovestobuystuff

Ally58,
Re your 1st MSE post on 5th of this month on another thread-
i am new so please excuse me if im in the wrong place,i have an overdraft at lloyds tsb but have been in difficulty lately following partners death and couldnt keep up the agreed repayments and then got more failed debit fees on top im worried to death about it all im afraid they will take all my salary at end of month- i still have a bank of scotland account if i ask for my salary to go into that instead and then pay lloyds my agreed payment do you think it will be ok lloyds have asked me to return my debit card and to cancel my direct debits to prevent further failed dd fees what do i do please someone help me

I am sorry you have had a run of incredibly bad luck lately ,lets see if we can make some suggestions which may actually help.
First of all I am shocked that your landlady is not being a bit easier on you condsdering the cirumstances,I would hate to think that if my hubby died we would all be made homeless.
Make sure you are getting everything you are entitled to after your recent change in circumstances.check the website www.entitledto.com for info and to check you are getting all the tax credits,child benefits,housing an council tax benefit you may be entitled to.
I see you work,perhaps your employer could forward you the £1,000 if you explain the desperate situation and deduct a little each month from salary.Employers sometimes have special funds available for employees families in trouble,especially after a bereavement.
Also chase up the CSA for the £5,500 arrears from your ex husband,pestering them I have heard does actually make them move faster and make sure you get the name of the person you speak to and ask for them when you call so that you know someone knows the case.
Best of luck and hope it all works out for you.

ally58

Thank you my partner died my ex husband is still well and truly alive and succeeding as so many ex husbands do in running rings around csa he has a nice house new car an attachment to earnings which he gets around by changing employers every time the csa catch up with him and then the whole thing starts again it allows him 3 months to answer a letter while we go without
my employers cannot loan me money they say it could start a precedent even though i wasnt going to tell anyone that i had asked them
i have exhausted each and every advice bureax and still am here with no hope of help from any quarter but thanks for the reply

shelovestobuystuff

I think,not sure so hope someone else can confirm this,that emergency social fund loans can be applied for whether or not you are on benefits.Worth giving the benefits agency a phone call to ask anyway.

moneymouth77

I'd keep pushing for emergency social funds, there must be some way you can get through to your council. I'm so sorry to hear about your situation, I hope it gets resolved for you.

shelovestobuystuff

There may be good advice and possibly help with sourcing financial assistance from some single parent organisations,one plus,gingerbread etc
http://www.oneparentfamilies.org.uk/
May be valuable help available via shelter too
http://england.shelter.org.uk/

ally58

Thanks for replying but have already had help from shelter cymru to no avail i just needed my money back to set myself straight but that is never going to happen i was taken for a ride all along and now no one is able to help me

ally58

I dont suppose anyone knows of a loan firm i may not have tried that would help the loan could be repaid at £200 per month which is what i can afford but i want to clear it quickly to get my life on track again and put this behind me forever and my 'friend'
not prov shoppercheque credit union OR I AM GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE THE LOANSHARK ON

techmax76

Lending money to friends and relative is a good deed. You just have to know your limitations and be sure not to sacrifice the needs of the family.