Depression Support Thread

Diamond78

shazrobo wrote: »

hi diamond, thanks for the big hugs, really needed it took son out shopping, he's 12 with adhd, anyway he threw a tantrum in town and ran off searched for him, but being a busy sat afternoon, decided eventually to go home, in case he tried ringing me, which he did eventually and went to pick him up.
son later admitted to doing it on purpose to get our attention, i was in town with N. felt so frustrated that he feels he has to go to such extremes to feel wanted, daniel knows how much i love him, but hates me giving any one more attention than him.
N says daniel should be punished for what he did, i was just glad he was safe, but gave him a talking to. N says daniel spoilt the shopping trip for all of us including N's son. N son does worse behaviour, including destroying expensive things he has been bought at xmas, and nothing is said.
Danel is my son and i love him to bits, and i dont mind him being punished but there are different ways around it, especially when he knows n son has done worse and gets away with it.
sick of N saying he wants us all to be a family, when i feel he treats my sons unfairly to his own, think it was more N's behaviour that caused me to cutting. never used to cut before i met him, but i was depressed, maybe the increase in meds or stopping drinkin has led to cutting, i dont know, but one thing i know for sure, is i want to stop, getting scars alreaady and i dont like them
big hugs
shaz x

Hi hun, I wish I was close by to you so I could pop round just so you could forget some of the things happening. I think N is being a little unfair.
Firstly your dear son has ADHD. I dont know much about it but I have watched programmes and read about it and as Im due to start a course soon, I will be studying ADHD as part of my course and learning to work with kids that suffer with ADHD. You can not punish Daniel for wanting your attention as he is scared his not got you all to himself.I dont know your back ground hun but I know your a loving mum and a very good one too.
N should look at his own son. N should not tell you what to do and how to do it. D is your son and he is not the cause of what has happened. Maybe N is jealous of the time you give your son.But you r a mum so why should you not give time. Unfortunatly some men get jealous with things like that, maybe N isnt but by the looks of it he is. He must understand that D will always come first and due to the ADHD you have to give your son more attention. N should not dictate to you. He needs to punish his own son and start treating your son like a son.
Depending how long you have been together with N and If D doesnt see his dad as much then he should treat Daniel like he treats his own son. Everyone is different and works out things differently. You are in a very hard position sweety, your stuck in the middle but please no more cutting. I have been there, i have loads of scars on my arms which will never go away. I get evil looks from ppl in the summer when they see my arms-they must think im a psyco and why hasnt my child been taken away.It bothers me they judge me but they dont know me and what I ve been through.
You must slowly find another way with dealing with the frustration and anger. I havent cut for over a year now. I know you can get through this hun.I know its easier said than done but I honestly know what its like when the urge is there. I dunno, when I feel so angry and frustrated like I have been recently, I squeeze my hands so tight,my whole body gets tense and I scream inside my head.Maybe thats why my depression has got worse as I am not able to release the anger and frustration, the way ppl have treated me the injustice I have been through, but think of the scars you will have, think how Daniel would be upset If he knew that you was hurting so much that you needed to cut to release the tension and tho whole stuff your going through.
Im sorry if i dont make sense at times, I sometimes re read what i have wrote and it makes no sense at all. Make sure you look after your cuts hun, when you feel like that again, promise me you will try your most hardest not to do it. Come on here and type away. Write a letter, put music on that wont remind you of anything negative, watch shamless on youtube lol, start watching things that will make you laugh.I should do these things myself but I dont. We will work at it together.PM me whenever you like.
As for N, Im back on to him again. Have you been together for a long time? If he wants to be like family , he must treat your son with care and respect. He should not blame D and not see what his son does. MAybe D hears the talks you have with N, which is why he does what he does. Its very hard for a child to accept someone coming into the home, i myself know from when I was younger when my mum got re married. Had I spoken to my mum, had my mum made time for me and spoke to me, I would not be as bad as I am now.But the past is in the past now.All I can say darling, is speak with D again, keep on at him and remind him his number 1 and u love him loads like you already do, tell him rather than run off like that and upset and scare you like that, to come and talk to you.Once the barrier is gone and he can talk to u, hopefully he wont run off again. Talk to N aswell, you need to be a team and stick togther if he wants to be family.He needs to punish his son and you need to see him do it when his son has done what his done.
Sorry its all mumble jumble hun, hope you can understand what I mean.
You know im here if you want to chat,lots of luv,hugs and kisses xxxx

Diamond78

slowlyfading wrote: »

Diamond, how are you today? are you doing anything interesting today? x

im ok thanks slowlyfading-hows u?

Nope, today not doing nothing interesting. I never do sundays when the weather is like this, dark grey and raining. Its nice to be indoors. Me and my son having been playing on his playstation together-starwars lol. Ive done dinner and gonna eat soon. Been house searching online but no luck. Got to go council tomorrow to speak to someone who help finds private rented property. Im glad ive not been out today as I would brought some ciggies. I gave up and was doing so well, but when my mum came over for 2 weeks I started again. So im back to square one and craving a ciggie.

Hows your day been?Any plans for the evening?xx

Diamond78

gillette147 wrote: »

I love you all

Been a while. Long days at work and illness have drained me.
I'm doing 13hr door to door days AND I'm now studying too.

Hi to all the wonderful people on here and a new hi to the newbies.

Especially Hurry back Ethel....I like women in bed....but not coz of illness xxx



Oh and AB............p1ss off back to DT. There's plenty of people to argue with back there.
This is a bloody support thread.

well said gillette147.

How have u been?Havent seen u on for a while but saying that, I havent been on for a while. Some days, that goes on for days, i dont speak to a soul. My laptop is nearly gone, im struggling to keep it going at the mo so Im lucky I can come online.
I wont be online soon tho as Im cancelling my virginmedia coz they are so rubbish and basically they are thieves. They have billed me wrong, cut me off and all sorts and Ive had enough so am going to cancel my service with them. Im going to feel lost without being able to come online, but i will go to a internet cafe when littlemans at school and will stay in touch that way.

slowlyfading

shazrobo wrote: »

hi sf, how are you today hun? cleaned the cuts up, they going to scar tho, made about 40 cuts on myself with the razor, reasons are in above post to diamond, save me typing them again:o

Aww sweetie, I'm so sorry about that. I'm okay thanks, just trying to do some reading and its not going in today at all. Have an essay on the developmental psychology of music to do, but I just can't seem to be able to concentrate lately, which is :mad: to say the least.
Hang in there, you're doing okay. xx

Diamond78

absolutebounder wrote: »

A long post and I have not replied before as I have not had the time to give it the respect it deserved.
With communication you only get about 7% of the communication from the words alone. you have nothing of the emotion tonality or body language. So you make assumptions about the other 93%.
Now I treat depression with a variety of methods both ericksonian and elman style hypnotherapy but I try to go way beyond that bringing in things like CBT NLP CMT and even laughter. The thing is that IMHO depression is a problem with the unconcious mind and any conflict between the unconcious and the concious mind will always result in the subconcious mind winning. On the surface people may genuinely want to do something eg give up smoking but until the subconcious wants to you have no hope. Now the clever bit is to stimulate the unconcious and that is why I am here. To find out more so to try and improve things for the future.
No therapy claims 100% success but I see nothing wrong with that as a goal, so people are not under the spotlight but the illness is.
I hope that has cleared up a few misconceptions and no, we will not always agree but there is no harm in that as the world would be dull if we did.

Sorry but you completely misunderstood the point. I did the test because I wanted to show how subjective and comparative the testing is. I scored worryingly high on one but no Im not really depressed. At least if I am I am not aware of it and if you are not aware of a problem do you have it?

I think you should try back off a little now as you are showing disrespect to our thread. You have a right to your opinion and you have made it very clear what you think. Now please can you stop insulting depression and post your thoughts elsewhere. You should really be ashamed of yourself and the things you have written. I will not respond to your posts no more and give you the satisfaction. You was made to feel welcome even though you do not suffer from depression, this is a support group so you have no need to be posting on this thread. So please let it go now and leave us alone!!!

slowlyfading

Diamond78 wrote: »

im ok thanks slowlyfading-hows u?

I'm good thanks, just been out for sunday lunch with my flatmates, so I'm full to bursting now!

Hows your day been?Any plans for the evening?xx

I have an essay on developmental psychology of music to do, so I should do some reading, but I'll see. how about you? xx

slowlyfading

absolutebounder, please leave our thread alone. you are being very unhelpful.

Diamond78

slowlyfading wrote: »

I'm good thanks, just been out for sunday lunch with my flatmates, so I'm full to bursting now!

I have an essay on developmental psychology of music to do, so I should do some reading, but I'll see. how about you? xx

Thats nice. I should make an effort and go out for sunday dinner maybe next week.It would do good to get out the flat but oh, its the holidays next weekend so might leave it to when its not so busy.

I need to do some reading, I have so many different things to read lol. Ive not started my course yet, i start end of april(teaching asistant).

ive got self help books(confidence by paul m), the secret which my brother swears by and magazines. I like psycology magazine but I never get to finish the whole lot, i get tired or bored after a while. I also need to read up on driving as Ive lost near enough all my confidence with my lessons so got a book that really i should read. Im just waiting for my son to get hungry so I can dish dinner and Im waiting for dancing on ice to come on.Sad i know but love the show lol, i use to have a crush on Cris Fountain aka Justin from hollyoaks and im a mad hollyoaks fan.Sending u hugs xx

Diamond78

GOODLUCK with yout essay by the way x

Diamond78

Am a little offended now as I just checked AB's posts elsewhere and came across a thread on DT about Drugs Dont Work or similar to that. And on one post OP is basically saying depressed ppl should get on there bike and go-to which AB replies(ive copied and pasted it)
I dare you to post that on the depression support thread. You will of course need asbestos pants:rotfl:

That in an insult to us all. How dare he/she?Im a deeply offended especially with the laugh and Im disgusted tbh.