Depression Support Thread

LadyMorticia

Tidying up has worn me out a bit. I feel very lethargic now and have a headache. I also feel really on edge and just had a crying fit (the kind where it's hard to breathe). I'm not sure why.

Have a kind of busy week this week. Seeing project worker on Tuesday (if I can make it out the house again) and I have doctors on Wednesday. I'm going to try and go to the drop in tomorrow too. It depends how I feel really and if I can make it out the door again.

My friend is going to Manchester on Tuesday for a conference thing. I hope she's going to be ok. I worry endlessly about those I care about.
My friend is having his kidney transplant in April and I'm terrified for him.

I feel better that my house isn't full of clutter now though and I can see the floor.lol.
Anywho, I'm going to go and get a cuppa. Would anyone like one?

xx

meyore

Hi everyone, I know its been a while, but I haven't felt comfortable here as someone decided to start being unkind. I realise now thats not my problem, its theirs.

Been there and back this week, completely horrendous and absolutely brilliant!

Last month the doctor changed my contraceptive pill because of skin problems. My period was meant to come on Sunday, but I didn't get until Wednesday. By Tuesday night I was convinced I was pregnant and I was in a real state. I know now that I don't want a baby, and that thought was breaking my heart. I cried myself to sleep, too afraid to ring OH and tell him because I was afraid he'd be mad. Now I'm thinking straight again, I realise I should have told him and he would've been absolutely brilliant as he always is.

Had my appraisal at work and that went well, a few things I need to improve on, but my manager seemed pleased. One downside though-I found out my contract isn't permanent and because the company has "problems" I won't be made permanent. I decided to start looking at other jobs. I now have 3 interviews coming up!

Had a "me" weekend. OH caught the train home on Friday, so I didn't have to drive. We went out and were having a lovely time, until the barmaid decided to give me vodka and coke instead of what I asked for. I was very sick, me and vodka don't mix. Saturday we went shopping and went out for lunch and dinner, how lazy. Came home and curled up in front of the TV-lovely. I was up in the night though, feeling really poorly. At six OH woke up, so I snuggled up to him until I relaxed and felt better.

While we were lying there, he decided to propose! I now eventually have my ring! I'm so happy! I thought it was really romantic, not contrived and no pressure, just a big hug as he popped the ring on my finger. It was getting to the point where we both knew it was coming and it was beginning to feel more inevitable than exciting. But it was lovely and I'll treasure his words from this morning forever. :kisses3:

Anyway, thats enough about me, I'm going to read through all your posts from while I've been away now.

Big (((HUGS)))

Xx

weegie.geek

dawnylou wrote: »

All thanks to you! :j

Is it sad how chuffed I was when I got it right??

Maybe just a little.

A friend from work has said she will pick me up tomorrow for my first day in so I don't have to walk in alone, and that she will try and take her breaks at the same time as me and stuff. I am so thankful as I am really worried about going back in after all of this time. But I am soooooo scared in case she forgets to pick me up!!
I hardly slept a wink again last night so I am starting to tire easily and suffer headaches now, but I guess this is something I will just have to get used to.
I will just have to try and drink as much coffee as possible to try and stay awake at work!!
I have also made the inside of my mouth bleed and it is dead sore because of all the biting and chewing I do!
Oh why am I so scared?? I used to be able to go to work every day with no problems at all!!!

You'll be fine once you get back into the routine of things. Don't get so stressed. Try and get some sleep and go in refreshed.

LadyMorticia wrote: »

I feel absolutebounder is judging us based on our depression. That may just be my BPD talking but I'm quite on edge now. It only takes the smallest thing to panic me.

I've been judged my whole life based on the clothes I wear, my illness etc. Now I'm scared to post here incase some more people come and judge us.

xx

Well you could always judge him back for being a hypnotist...



:rotfl:

Really though, the guy doesn't have a clue about the illness, and he admitted as much. Don't let him put you off posting. He's got no respect for things he doesn't understand. I wouldn't plonk myself down in the middle of a group of hypnotherapists and start criticising, and I'm sure most hypnotherapists aren't as emotionally vulnerable as people with depression.

If he genuinely was attempting to learn more he went about it in the worst way possible, and his attitude would have offended people no matter their illness.

Aaaaaaaaaaanyway, he's gone, it's done. Hopefully he'll consider his bedside manner a bit more carefully in future.

Anywho, I'm going to go and get a cuppa. Would anyone like one?

Depends what kind of biscuits you have

meyore

rose07 wrote: »

hello everyone


ive had a very bad 2 days, it finally happened, my boss pressed my self destruct button. yesterday it was just one thing after another, of her saying such awful things, one was soo bad that one of the girls at work said " dont let her speak to you like that"
she was constantly blaming me, and shouting at me, and tellin me off, and expressin her anger onto me, passin the blame onto me, talking down to me, makin me feel soo darn small. i mean im small already, no need for that:mad:

the final push came, when she said i wasnt aloud my holiday, when i am entitled to it, i do deserve it, and i have to take it. so god i was fummin. she properly pushed me over the edge, all week ive put up with her bs, im either gonna have to quit my job, or im gonna have to fight her, but god i dont even know what channels to go thru there. anyway i fought her hard for my holiday, and im havin it, i f-in need it. .......she was just tryna kick me down further :mad:

anyway im feelin very rough tonight, feel like ive been knocked over or something. i went on the drink last night, bad idea, the self destructin began, this isnt like a hangover or just feelin rough, this is proper a bad place to be. havent slept/eaten in 2 days. part from coke, got a real thing for coke

my brother came home from uni tonight. those that know me well here will know how much my brother means to me, but when he came home, coulddnt get excited, happy, etc...but he still gives great hugs

seen a very dear friend of mine today, when she seen me, she instantly knew somethin was wrong, not my usual energetic self. something is missin. im just like a blank canvas atm. someone give me some paint

so yeah soz, not been about, just feelin things atm, any extra hugs much appreciated

much love and huggles to all
xxx

Hi Rose-first of all, HUGE (((HUGS))) for you, you deserve them.

Your boss is being an absolute evil cow-there is no need to treat another person the way shes been treating you and its disgusting. Is there another manager at the same level as her or an assistant manager? If so, go to them and they can direct you who to talk to about making a complaint. If not then you'll have to go directly above her, which is never ideal, but this is out of order and has been going on too long. The fact that other people are begining to notice her behaviour is a good thing though, do you think they'd back you up?

Sorry to get all bossy on you, but I don't like to think of you being treated that way. PM me if you need me ok?

More big (((HUGS))) for you rose. Xx

PS loved the pob clip, that made me laugh so much, what good memories that brought back.

Xx

Diamond78

congratulations meyore x

LadyMorticia

Well you could always judge him back for being a hypnotist...



:rotfl:

Really though, the guy doesn't have a clue about the illness, and he admitted as much. Don't let him put you off posting. He's got no respect for things he doesn't understand. I wouldn't plonk myself down in the middle of a group of hypnotherapists and start criticising, and I'm sure most hypnotherapists aren't as emotionally vulnerable as people with depression.

If he genuinely was attempting to learn more he went about it in the worst way possible, and his attitude would have offended people no matter their illness.

Aaaaaaaaaaanyway, he's gone, it's done. Hopefully he'll consider his bedside manner a bit more carefully in future.


Depends what kind of biscuits you have

That pic made me laugh so hard.lol.

I guess you're right. I just take things to heart a lot of the time.

*tries to memorize cupboard* I have: custard creams, ginger nuts, digestives, chocolate chip cookies and jammie dodgers. Not that eat any of them. It just stops people asking questions if they ever come around.lol.

LadyMorticia

My friend and her boyfriend came around about an hour ago. I haven't seen her in so long. It was nice to catch up. She gave me her old tripod and her Greenday scrapbooks. I already have a tripod but it's hard to transport and the one she gave me is like a table top one.

I'm watching Gavin and Stacey at the moment.

Anywho, hope you're all having a good evening.

xx

meyore

shazrobo wrote: »

feeling a bit stupid and ashamed this morning, had a very stressful day yesterday, lots of things didnt go well, and i ended up cutting again

big hugs to all those that need one
shaz xxx

Aw shaz, (((HUGS))) sorry things have got so bad again. Is N the ex from before? I hope things start getting better for you soon-thinking of you.

Xx

weegie.geek

LadyMorticia wrote: »

That pic made me laugh so hard.lol.

I guess you're right. I just take things to heart a lot of the time.

*tries to memorize cupboard* I have: custard creams, ginger nuts, digestives, chocolate chip cookies and jammie dodgers. Not that eat any of them. It just stops people asking questions if they ever come around.lol.

I hope he doesn't take offence. :A

Jammie dodgers! Good stuff, that'll do.

meyore

Hi to gilette, ccstar, tulip, steph, horace, gemini, dawnylou, diamond, cat (sorry I missed you :rolleyes:), antronella, saz, queenswayboy, weegie, slowlyfading, feelinggood and anyone else I've missed. :hello:

Loved that last post tiff, you said everything I was thinking, but could never put into words. You're a star. I'm not going to dignify that person with a response. Maybe they were purposely looking for a reaction, maybe it was just ignorance but they aren't important.