Depression Support Thread

Diamond78

absolutebounder wrote: »

OOps I have to correct myself. just done 2 online questionaires and answered as truthfully as possible. Got diagnosed as clinicaly depressed . As I say I answered truthfully but I think it shows how subjective these questionares are. In reality I hope the doctors ask one hell of a lot more but these were saying I should troll along to my doc which frankly is worrying as it would tie up the NHS which prevents the real needy getting help.:mad:
Maybe I need support after all

You may not be depressed or suffer from it but then again you could be and not realise it. Theres many forms of depression. You may have so much on ie work family ect that you dont actually have the time to sit down and think what is happening in your life. You could have it for years and not realise it and suddenly something could bring you crashing down. The worse part is denying having the depression. You could have a bad time and say to yourself, it will pass as you are dealing with that situation. But at times, our past comes back to haunt us. My childhood didnt affect when I was a child as I did not act depressed, when your a child you dont know, I was very quite and shy. As a tenager things started affecting me, like moving to another country, my mums marriage and other issues. Which is when I started remembering things from my childhood. It is very easy to hide depression and carry on as normal but a time will come when unfortunatly it hits you in the face and you have to face up to it.

I hope for your sake, you do not suffer with depression but only you truely no the answer to that. You have to be true to yourself and If you admit it thats your first step to accepting it and your road to recovery. Then is going to the doctors which is a big step coz it can be hard trying to explain to a doctor. Either way, you will get support If you want it and you must try you hardest not to fall even more and allow the depression to get worse. But events and life in unpredictable so therefor you wont know. Be strong and be truthful to yourself x

Tiff_2

Hi ab!:hello:
Thanks for your reply. It is always interesting and useful for a variety of opinions to be heard on the subject of depression, or on any mental ill health issue.

Originally Posted by absolutebounder
Hi tiff Im pleased you have welcomed me as a friend but I should say at the outset I am a hypnotherapist and not in the least bit depressed.
Oh well hunnie - you're still welcome anyway. I do note however, that you lost a school friend due to suicide and I express my sympathy for this loss.

Depression as an illness interests me on a number of fronts. People who are depressed tend to say the right things but actually do everything possible not to get better. Now this is as a result of action by the sub concious mind. Depression is also very attention seeking though the people with it will often deny it.
Nothing interests someone with mental ill health issues more than the subject itself, even a view from the theraputic side of the fence. I'm glad you are researching the illness in an effort to understand it more. You seem to have stirred a negative reaction.

As I also like to call a spade, a spade, and for what it's worth, here is my response. You have given your assessment of depression and some of what you say has a valid point, ab.
I agree...
- the health service is far too under-resourced,
- treatment can be poor,
- some people do act in some of the manners that you list due to their sub-conscious mind or illness,
- medication is not the answer to everyone's mental ill health,
- you do hear about bad days far more on this thread,
- there are many types of illness falling under the heading of depression
- some people do abuse alcohol or narcotics
- and yes hun, you are entitled to your opinion.;)

And I'm afraid that's where you and I part company, ab.

What I've listed above, as agreements to some of your replies, has already been said by most of the people here, angel. We already know these things.
As I said, I'm glad you are still studying depression because, tbh hun, I think it'll be a while yet before you're through. That's not intended as a hurtful insult ab, but hopefully something constructive.


Firstly, I think some of the negative reaction was caused by the way you composed your replies.
No offence angel, but as an intended piece of observation on the human mind and mental ill health, your phrasing and composition really lets you down in some places, making you sound judgemental and abrasive. This obviously offended some posters and I'm not surprised really. In some parts, you have made a lot of assumptions and been quite insulting. As I say, everyone here is entitled to an opinion, ab - but we must give each other the common courtesy of recognising that some people here are vulnerable and that there is a right way to speak to people. It doesn't change your opinion, it just makes it far more likely to be received openly.


Here's what I'd like to re-educate you on from my experience, hunnie...
- not everyone has a good insight into their mental ill health

- in my humble opinion angel, no-one chooses, or would want, mental ill health. It can be the cruellest of illnesses.

- all kinds of people abuse alcohol, or narcotics, not just the mentally ill

- a lot of people don't want to take medication but do so because it works for them, on whatever level

- one part of mental ill health that can be a common issue, is where really poorly people don't act on the help offered. This is not an excuse! This can purely mean that they don't understand, or are too poorly to understand how their treatment helps them. And let's be honest guys - if it's any physical ailment, we don't tell the doctor where to stuff his medications, do we? Why should it be different for mental health?

- forgive me, but I think it was extremely ignorant of you to say, quote: ''There are all sorts of excuses for depression as well like chemical imballances in the brain'' How dare you suggest that there are ''excuses'' for depression! I must admit this really tiffed me off, ab. They aren't ''excuses'' as you say, but reasons and causes. This is one example where your composition could have used a little more thought. Be they trauma or chemical imbalance-related, they are not excuses!

- you will hear more negative things on this thread because it's a depression thread, hunnie. However, you will also hear some really light banter, positive experiences, information on resources and encouragement. If people aren't well enough to make suggestions, then they usually at least say they care about another poster's problem.

- I hope someone will shout out if they disagree, but overall, this thread is a friendly place that many people are glad to find because it gives them reassurance to know that they're not the only ones, that there are many forms of treatment, that there are some really nice people here and that people with mental ill health are not all a bunch of axe-murderers!

-I think I can speak for more than one person when I say that, I know this thread encouraged them to finally ask for help when they were terrified of the response they'd get and feeling lost. People have also benefitted from information on resources available for a variety of situations.

- some people's issues can strike a nerve sometimes and if anything, people tend to back away from it and take some time out, not feed off it.

- you can't put all people into neat little boxes, ab - I ain't gonna go in!

- you made a lot of blanket statements about drugs making illnesses worse for example and that , quote: ''Depressed people are often alcoholics or binge drinkers.'' unquote. Please have the respect of some humility angel, in recognising that yours is but one opinion in the field and there are many others. And yours may not necessarily be the right one. Indeed, as a holistic therapist, your chosen field of hypnotherapy comes under criticism too. I, myself, prefer to keep an open mind,ab. I think there is a balance of help to be found in all things.

- as someone who wishes to battle depression through therapy, ab, don't you think that a cornerstone of any therapy, should be compassion and being non-judgemental?

I think, however, that the most insulting thing you have done, was to come along and apparently view the people here as specimens and scientific examples, which is how you left people feeling. If you had approached with a compassionate and respectful attitude, it wouldn't have taken anything away from your opinion. We are not afraid of honest discussion here.

And my first instinct was to have a Tiffy-fit, ab, because your post was so disrespectful in parts. But all that achieved, was to make people stop listening to you, hun.
None of this is meant to attack you, but is just a reply to your posts. Ironically, I couldn't help but notice your tag line, hunnie.
So really ab, I do feel sorry for you as you seem unable to communicate well with people in this area and you seem to be too judgemental of them, which, if this is the case, might lead to a very short career for you in this field I'm afraid sweetheart.
Wishing you well, ab.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

juno

absolutebounder wrote: »

OOps I have to correct myself. just done 2 online questionaires and answered as truthfully as possible. Got diagnosed as clinicaly depressed . As I say I answered truthfully but I think it shows how subjective these questionares are. In reality I hope the doctors ask one hell of a lot more but these were saying I should troll along to my doc which frankly is worrying as it would tie up the NHS which prevents the real needy getting help.:mad:
Maybe I need support after all

But most people wouldn't do the test if they didn't think something was wrong with them. So that in itself means something. And once I managed to diagnose my male friend with some girlie problem (I think it was PCOS) just by following a guide in a magazine. So they're not totally right.

I know you've only said that to prove that people are too easily diagnosed, but you haven't been diagnosed. You've done one online test which told you to go to your doctor. If you were genuinely feeling bad then that would be a good thing to do. Then you'd need to explain to your doctor how you've been feeling, and see what they say. In your case you wouldn't be diagnosed as you're not depressed, no matter what the quiz says!

Yes, there probably will be people that are wrongly diagnosed, but that's the same with everything. Just because someone has a diagnosis doesn't necessarily mean they'll get loads of help - I know I was turned down for beneifts at my worst even though there was no way I could work, and on this page of the thread Diamond has explained that she can't get suitable housing.

Honestly, you just have an agenda and want to prove that there's no such thing as depression. Well, go and do that somewhere else. Don't upset fragile people here who are already suffering. If you want to read the posts, that's fine. If you want to post help and support, that's also fine. But don't post stupid judgmental posts that show you know nothing about depression and mental illnesses.

Horasio

I find the depression questionnaires quite artificial for me - I can answer them when I feel good and be fine and get the blackest result when I feel good.

It all depends on my mood at the time.

LadyMorticia

I have a headache and I'm exhausted. I'm going to go and try and sleep for a few hours. Try being the key word.lol.

Have a good night lovelies.

xx

rose07

hello everyone


ive had a very bad 2 days, it finally happened, my boss pressed my self destruct button. yesterday it was just one thing after another, of her saying such awful things, one was soo bad that one of the girls at work said " dont let her speak to you like that"
she was constantly blaming me, and shouting at me, and tellin me off, and expressin her anger onto me, passin the blame onto me, talking down to me, makin me feel soo darn small. i mean im small already, no need for that:mad:

the final push came, when she said i wasnt aloud my holiday, when i am entitled to it, i do deserve it, and i have to take it. so god i was fummin. she properly pushed me over the edge, all week ive put up with her bs, im either gonna have to quit my job, or im gonna have to fight her, but god i dont even know what channels to go thru there. anyway i fought her hard for my holiday, and im havin it, i f-in need it. .......she was just tryna kick me down further :mad:

anyway im feelin very rough tonight, feel like ive been knocked over or something. i went on the drink last night, bad idea, the self destructin began, this isnt like a hangover or just feelin rough, this is proper a bad place to be. havent slept/eaten in 2 days. part from coke, got a real thing for coke

my brother came home from uni tonight. those that know me well here will know how much my brother means to me, but when he came home, coulddnt get excited, happy, etc...but he still gives great hugs

seen a very dear friend of mine today, when she seen me, she instantly knew somethin was wrong, not my usual energetic self. something is missin. im just like a blank canvas atm. someone give me some paint

so yeah soz, not been about, just feelin things atm, any extra hugs much appreciated

much love and huggles to all
xxx

Horasio

Sorry to hear about your situation Rose.

The trouble is those sort of bosses smell the fear and your workmate is right. I used to be like that and every bully got to me, but one day, I stood up to them and they stopped. Even tho they are your boss, they don't have the right to be a/holes. Take a blooming sicky, if you have given sufficient notice and made sure you have cover.

My OH has just quit his job - the female boss has been a mild version of your boss. She is driving the company into the ground and lost some vital contracts, so money is short. They have been OK to him now he is leaving and might be getting some work from home to do. I don't think they can afford his full time rates but she has a dreadful manner and has driven away loads of people.

I have worked with bad bosses too and they should be sacked, not the people they inflict their poisonous venom on. It does make you wonder how many sick days are due to people getting away from bad bosses. I know most of my sick days were to get away from bad morale rather than major illness or colds. Workplace bullying, which this effectively is, should be made more of an issue than it is - it must cost industry millions.

At least your brother is giving you support and your friend sounds quite perceptive.

And here is a big hug from me too!

rose07

CCStar wrote: »

Sorry to hear about your situation Rose.

thanks hun

not like anything can be done, coz she is the mananger

hope your ok tonight?

much love
xxx

Horasio

rose07 wrote: »

thanks hun

not like anything can be done, coz she is the mananger

hope your ok tonight?

much love
xxx

Hi Rose

I'm not too bad

Not looking forward to having our son live with us with all the boxes everywhere - feels very cramped. He will be going away for Easter so should help. I will have a lovely cat to pet tho:)

Back to you, she is a manager, she has a boss doesn't she or do u have an HR dept. Can you talk to them?

I took the bullying like you did. I worked in an office that was all women and they were not supportive to each other. They moaned but did nothing. The boss was sometimes really nice then sometimes unreasonable our of nowhere - she was in her 50s and seemed much older than her years.

When you are not well, everything is magnified. I was ill with my women's problems and felt no-one, not even other women, was supportive. Men wouldn't understand. This was 25 years ago and people didn't talk openly like they do today. Had these forums been around then, I would have coped much better.

I waited till I could afford to leave but did leave on bad terms when the second in command publicly humiliated me in front of everyone - I snapped and never came back. It was one thing to take it from the boss, another from the second in command. I took sick leave citing another reason, rather than the truth, as I needed the money. Once it expired, I couldn't go back and resigned even tho I didn't have another job. My confidence was shot and it took months to get the courage to find another job - I worked in a completely different field and loved it.

You have to work out your financial position, what support you can get from the company and where you can go next. I have been on the Arms forum and another person is having trouble in a different way, at work and it sickens me when I see workplace hassle from superiors.

geminilady

rose07 wrote: »

hello everyone


ive had a very bad 2 days, it finally happened, my boss pressed my self destruct button. yesterday it was just one thing after another, of her saying such awful things, one was soo bad that one of the girls at work said " dont let her speak to you like that"
she was constantly blaming me, and shouting at me, and tellin me off, and expressin her anger onto me, passin the blame onto me, talking down to me, makin me feel soo darn small. i mean im small already, no need for that:mad:

the final push came, when she said i wasnt aloud my holiday, when i am entitled to it, i do deserve it, and i have to take it. so god i was fummin. she properly pushed me over the edge, all week ive put up with her bs, im either gonna have to quit my job, or im gonna have to fight her, but god i dont even know what channels to go thru there. anyway i fought her hard for my holiday, and im havin it, i f-in need it. .......she was just tryna kick me down further :mad:

anyway im feelin very rough tonight, feel like ive been knocked over or something. i went on the drink last night, bad idea, the self destructin began, this isnt like a hangover or just feelin rough, this is proper a bad place to be. havent slept/eaten in 2 days. part from coke, got a real thing for coke

my brother came home from uni tonight. those that know me well here will know how much my brother means to me, but when he came home, coulddnt get excited, happy, etc...but he still gives great hugs

seen a very dear friend of mine today, when she seen me, she instantly knew somethin was wrong, not my usual energetic self. something is missin. im just like a blank canvas atm. someone give me some paint

so yeah soz, not been about, just feelin things atm, any extra hugs much appreciated

much love and huggles to all
xxx

Big (((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))) Rose,you are having a hard time of it.Your boss sounds a right pain in the a*** glad you are getting your holiday sounds like you need it lol.Hope you are feeling better tomorrow its proberly the drink making you feel rough and all the stress from your boss won't be helping.Are you going anywhere or just stopping at home? if you are not going away hope the weather is fine and you can take some nice walks in the fresh air with your dog.That will do you the world of good.
As to your job there must be some sort of complaints system,do you have a contract of employment?the details are usually in that and if your workmate would back you up as to how your boss spoke to you that would be a great help.