Game Over, or could a mod lock this please xxxx

dizzyliz

oman: Is there a problem, Officer?

CAUGHT SPEEDING:
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want
to see.

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and
calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior
officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this
car and murdered the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car,
please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The first officer is stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving
license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and
hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and
examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't
have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked
up the owner.

Woman: Betcha the lying !!!!!!! told you I was speeding too.

rchlbentley

Ok last one from me tonight, i cant stay up anymore.....

How do you know when you`ve worn out your blow up doll.......

Its nose runs....

Ok im off ive had such a laugh tonight, its been fun, but im caving now...run out of pink lemonade lol

Thanks for a fun night, have fun and good luck x

dozy_dora

nite rchlbentley

toniq

scottishfreebiehunter wrote: »

T how did Topsy get on at vets?

Paul took hi and vet said it could be down to change in food from wet puppy pouches to dry puppy food, his belly is sill tender and he is crying but not as much, he is on rations of rusk and goats milk and just one dry soaked puppy food a day xxx
bless his teeny weeny paws xxx he is teeting big time xxxx

toniq

Nite rachel xx

dozy_dora

teeting????????

mich_city

toniq wrote: »

Paul took hi and vet said it could be down to change in food from wet puppy pouches to dry puppy food, his belly is sill tender and he is crying but not as much, he is on rations of rusk and goats milk and just one dry soaked puppy food a day xxx
bless his teeny weeny paws xxx he is teeting big time xxxx

aww bless him, poor mite.. know how worrying it can be as my cat that we got back recently had a real upset tummy for a week or so, was puking.. and the rest all over, cost me a small fortune at the vets for special food for her!

she's back to her hissing and spitting self now tho

toniq

A man was listening to the radio when he heard that there was a car heading the wrong way down Interstate 7; he knew his wife was driving on it at the time. He frantically called her on his cell phone and yelled hysterically, “Honey, watch out! There is a car going the wrong way on Interstate 7!”

His wife replied, “There isn’t just one car! There are hundreds of them!”

toniq

teething dora , im trying to type while he walks over keyboard xxx

dozy_dora

couldnt for the life of me work that out............too much cherry brandy methinks:rotfl: :rotfl: