The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread!

winebox

Hi all,
Hope I didn't give you virtual earache Fay!
As MP said lots of people doing well at the mo. Well done Jo - like Shoppy said I've done it next day but never the evening while I'm still drinking.
:T :T :T :T :T
Trying day today....OH & I went to boat this morning to empty it of everything for the winter, depressing esp after rubbish summer. There was a bottle of Cava (my favourite tipple!) in the hold that had been for my birthday & has been there for 3 months. Nicely chilled! Then I suggested we just went home for a sandwich as had it all to unload again (I was trying to avoid the pub), that was "boring". Then in the pub I was "determined to be grumpy" cos I had 2 diet cokes & no wine (will probably be on the local news tonight). And THEN he told me to take the cava home, which he knows I will drink all in one go or it goes flat. And of course am thinking about Dad all the time ...but I don't feel like drinking....although I'm fed up which normally sets me off.
So, although all-round p!ssed off at life today at least no hangover tomorrow to make things even worse. BTW I left the Cava behind.... :eek: . Hope you all have a good evening, just off to cook tea. See yous later

Edit: what I've done next day but never while drinking?.......wash your minds out with soap.

graemecarter

polaroid wrote: »

just read my post back and i dont mean to sound patronising. i only confronted my battle in august and it has been an uphill struggle all the way. i am by no means "cured" or over it. i battle every single day. i have had many relapses and i am still having the major cravings and had the odd glass when i have been out for dinner (twice). i suppose i justify it because i havnt been "drunk" since august. my major major turning point was getting rid of everything in the house. it made me feel back in control. and now when i crave it helps that no matter how much i want to give in to it, i cant.simply because i cant.

The difference between alcoholics that try to give up by themselves, and people that seek help (like AA), is that people who go and abide by the AA principals actually don't WANT to drink after a couple of months.
Dry drunks are alcoholics who are not drinking alcohol, but all the old personality defects and frustrations remain.

Be an AA alcoholic who doesn't drink and is happy, not a dry drunk who 'misses alcohol'

Love_bargains_2

My brother gave up drinking to save money (he's starting his own business) and he said the biggest thing he was worried about was how other people would react when he asked for a lemonade instead of a 'real' drink.

Happily, no one has questioned his decision or given him a hard time for it. Now he's really chuffed because it has made a big difference to his monthly spend, and no more hangovers...I'm thinking of following him.

eselt

Hi all- busy on here at the moment- hope everyone is OK

Fay- my GP referred me to the drugs and alcohol advisory service (called CADA here in cornwall) and on and off I saw them for 3 years. They did two home detox's with me, then follow up appointments- and I got the offer of a post detox support group where you go every day for a month after detox to keep you on track, but I never went because I didn't have the guts to walk through the door. On the whole they were very good, and because they've seen it all before you can't pull the wool over their eyes- I found the best one I saw from the service had been an alcoholic himself. They also arranged for medication for me and daily vitamin injections. In the end though the responsibility and motivation was all still down to me...although they will support you they can't do it for you (I was hoping they would have a magic wand and put it all right for me!).

One tip I did pick up when I was reducing and cutting right down which worked for a while is called the 'first and last drinker'- you can have your first drink of the day whenever you like, and later on you can have your last drink of the day- but nothing in between, or after your last drink. This helped me keep to 2 drinks a day for a while, because I always knew I could have my first drink at any time, and end the day with one too.

Keep going everyone- we'll be a whole train of wagons soon at this rate

shopaholictiedtheknot

Hi again all, just feel the need to post, I nearly gave in earlier, said to OH that I was going to go and buy some wine but then thought about coming on here tomorrow and confessing and I changed my mind and cleaned out the cupboard under the sink and now sat watching corrers with a nice milky coffee:j thanks for your positive vibes everyone :beer:

I am off in the bath with a tomato juice in a bit then having an early night!


Lurky - glad you are still lurking!

Welcome and good luck to the newbies - it is getting really busy on here!

Bismarck

mollypolly wrote: »

Hey Lurky
Glad you,re still around.
Hope you ok.
Love Mollypollyxxxx

PS.Note the new signature;)

indeed..nice one

Bismarck

graemecarter wrote: »

The difference between alcoholics that try to give up by themselves, and people that seek help (like AA), is that people who go and abide by the AA principals actually don't WANT to drink after a couple of months.
Dry drunks are alcoholics who are not drinking alcohol, but all the old personality defects and frustrations remain.

Be an AA alcoholic who doesn't drink and is happy, not a dry drunk who 'misses alcohol'

interesting points.

it all pretty much boils down to getting help if needed and doing whatever works for you....each of us has a solution, we just need to find it. and when you find it, stick with it.

as eselt said, there is no magic wand - but the switch is there inside us all....mine's in pretty much the right position and every day that passes has it fixed a little bit more firmly in the right position.

take care everyone.

SiannieLaz

graemecarter wrote: »

The difference between alcoholics that try to give up by themselves, and people that seek help (like AA), is that people who go and abide by the AA principals actually don't WANT to drink after a couple of months.
Dry drunks are alcoholics who are not drinking alcohol, but all the old personality defects and frustrations remain.

Be an AA alcoholic who doesn't drink and is happy, not a dry drunk who 'misses alcohol'

With regard to your comment above, of all the people that attend AA, only 5% of them are dry 1-5 years later. I agree AA does help some people, but it's only really helpful if you want to be a victim for the rest of your life, spending all your time NOT taking responsibilities for your own actions - "I give myself over to a higher power, etc". AA does not work for everyone, and if you look at the associated research, people who do it through other methods, including on their own, are more successful. And by research I don't mean AA statistics. Do you seriously think that everyone that attends AA doesn't miss alcohol? The whole time they are attending AA, the only thing they are focusing on is alcohol, instead of getting over it and moving on.

AA aside, I don't think anyone on this site suffers from 'personality defects'.

Hi to all :T and sorry for the rant, I just don't like being preached to as I found AA to be totally depressing and offering absolutely no light at the end of the tunnel.

WB - so so sorry to hear about your Dad, keep your chin up chick, we're all hear when ever you need us xxx

shopaholictiedtheknot

Morning all

:eek: Can I really be on Day 5???:eek: I AM:T

Sianne - I hated AA too, felt too much like a church meeting - and no offence meant to anyone who is a church goer - just it is not for me!

Feeling so happy today - hope I can keep it up, good luck today one and all :beer:

jo1972

graemecarter wrote: »

The difference between alcoholics that try to give up by themselves, and people that seek help (like AA), is that people who go and abide by the AA principals actually don't WANT to drink after a couple of months.
Dry drunks are alcoholics who are not drinking alcohol, but all the old personality defects and frustrations remain.

Be an AA alcoholic who doesn't drink and is happy, not a dry drunk who 'misses alcohol'

We're back to the ole AA debate, how I love a debate!!

IMHO, I think AA is a valuable place for people to go vent and get support. It's not everyone's cup of tea, including me....although, that said, that's because of all the meetings I've been to I've not found one where I fit in. I'm sure that if I made the real effort to go round to all the different meetings in my area I would find one that I feel comfortable in. I do agree with all of the steps in principle and in my last detox did have another read through them and tried to put each one into perspective during my journey. I find the higher power thing quite comforting, it's a misconception that you have to be religious to follow the AA steps, the higher power can be anything that you hold dear. I am a Christian but I found it more fruitful to have my higher power as my dear old dad who passed away nearly 15 years ago. I can imagine him looking down at me, watching me waste my life drinking it to death. I can imagine the worry he would be feeling for me.

Even if only 5% stay dry with the support of AA then that's still a good thing, the other 95% need to find another way to deal with their addiction. Some will never be able to be anything than a dry drunk unfortunately as the opportunity for them to get the right support will never arise.

So, to cut a long story short :rolleyes: you can't dis any kind of support, it's just if it suits then that's great, if not, go down another route.

Like I say, all in my own humble opinion

Fay, I've been through detox twice (not doing too good at the mo ), first time I took 2 weeks off work, and took librium for 10 days and sat spaced out indoors. I wasn't ready to quit back then, I lasted 30 days but was a classic dry drunk, thought about drinking the whole time, was depressed and felt as though I was missing out big time. Ended up on day 30 with a major binge.

Second detox was earlier this year, where I did a reduction detox over 6 weeks, gradually reduced my unit intake by 5 units a week. Had a few wobblers but it did work and I did feel good about myself.

Obviously all gone pear-shaped since due to complacency as per.

I need a good sharp kick up the backside and need to sort out where I'm going (should be going, not actually going!).

If any of you get the opportunity for support, whether it be your GP, AA, counselling service, online forums, whatever..take it and don't fault it till you try it