The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread!

Pip26

TO JACK TYLER


Hiya JT - hope you have read the posts on the page above this (if you haven't, have a look now) because you will see that people (and this is just a few of them!) respect you & enjoy your friendship, think you are a great guy, look out for you and miss you when you're not around. Not only that, all these people are here to, and want to, support you!

Not a single person thinks you have anything to be ashamed of and you musn't forget that or go telling yourself anything different.


There is some really good advice on here and remember that it doesn't matter what stage you are at; thinking of giving up, trying to give up, wanting to but not being able to, or, if and when someone does give up, the support and friendship is always here - you can log on and say whatever you want, whenever you want.

Don't forget loads of us have been through or are going through something similar.

Your uncle sounds like a really nice person, he loves you for yourself and wants you to be happy.

When you post next just put 1 or 2 words to let us know if you are in contact with anyone else, like your support worker.

We all hope to hear from you soon.

We're here for you. :grouphug:

P. xxxx

Don't forget to read your private messages.

eselt

Hi all- hope everyone is OK today- welcome jpmummy and nice post Pip. Jack hope you are OK.

JPMummy- its really tough to sit feeling helpless whilst you see someones drinking spiralling. I don't think certain members of my family will ever really trust me again or forgive me for being a drunk- and it didn't matter what they said, or how supportive they were, in the end it was down to me to sort it- the only person that could give me the motivation was myself. I know when I was drinking I got very sneaky, hiding bottles etc. and if anyone noticed I'd been drinking I'd get really defensive and angry, and take if out on people who are trying to help. Al-Anon is a good organisation, try them for some advice, there might even be a group in your area.

Bis- been thinking about your short burst of alcohol related philosophy today!, I suppose you are right we can't beat it- we just have to find a way of managing to avoid it and not consume it- can we ever win back any power over alcohol- I'm to scared to even try!

Haven't seen Jo for a bit- Jo you OK?

Have a restful evening everyone

jpmummy

hi all thanks for the kind posts, If I am honest this has been going on for years, it is only now that it is coming to a head, I am on my own usually Monday-Friday with my Son (this has been since last Sept) whilst he is at work, nothing new has triggered his drinking off, he has always drunk alot, but now I am kinda at breaking point because I don't want to spend all weekend with someone who is slurring and wetting the bed and waking me to change it. I just want my "M" back, the one who used to think I was great but now thinks that I am rubbish (when he is drunk) I want him sober or at least in control.

Bismarck

hi all. esp jpmummy.

regret I can't give a full response now but you're at the crisis point that you already realise.

you know that this cannot carry on. where will you all be in 5 years time?

I'll try and be back online later but in the meantime, your OH definitely needs help...I'd suggest AA simply for somewhere to go where he can hear other people and hopefully the penny will drop.

PS...welcome to the thread...take care.

Bis

eselt

Hi all- just a quick one- I agree with Bis, its sounds like your OH is at the point when he needs to get some help, it does sound to me like crisis point. From my experience there are only really two possible outcomes here:
a) carry on drinking and lose everything, including possibly your life
b) get some help, stop drinking and get your life back

Brace yoursel, I wish you the best of luck

Nick51

Thanks Martins Doll & ESELT for the welcome. Looking at all the posts it is strangely comforting to see that I am not the only one who has a problem. Have not yet had a AFD ; was away on business this week, and again manged on the first night to get drunk despite arriving at the hotel at 10:30pm. I really try to stop but the lure of the first one just is too great, and once I've had one that's it. Thursday night was actually quite a success, went our to dinner with my boss and only had two glasses of wine so did not feel too bad Friday morning. But it seems that when I have a relatively dry night I seems too over do it the following night ; last night when I got home managed to down 3 cans of strong lager and despite sharing a bottle of red wine with the OH I managed to have all but one glass. Wife is staying over with her friend tonight. Usually this means a heavy night for me but I am really trying to control it ; have had three beers already but am really trying to resist opening the wine. I know it's not going to be easy to give up completely but have resolved to at least reduce the weekly amount for starters. I am really sick & tired of waking up feeling bad.

Nick

biscotte

Nick, hope you managed to keep it under control last night and the head is not bad this morning. So many of us here are saying the same thing - sick and tired of waking up feeling tired, ill and despondant.
JpMummy. there's a really interesting thread in the arms started by calculatethis about her problems with her husbands drink problem, maybe it would be interesting to you, also a lady called Rose(plus some numbers) posted on here and another thread about dealing with an alcoholic spouse.

Have a good Sunday all

Wanna_Bee_Free

Morning all,
Well managed no AFDs last week although not too bad last night. Wish I could pick up a bottle of willpower in the supermarket or something! The fact there's loads of wine left over from bonfire night isn't helping.
Have a good Sunday everyone.

Bismarck

polaroid wrote: »

Hi jpmummy, alcohol is an addiction often hidden by denial. unfortunately when in the grasps of alcohol addiction the people who try to help are often the ones who get blamed and get hurt. the first thing to beating it is to realise that you have a problem. i have grown up with alcolics all my life and its the hardest thing to watch someone do it to themselves - yet when i was doing it i didnt think that anyone really noticed; because if i admitted they noticed then i would have been admitting there was a problem.
its difficult to advise you what to do as people with alcohol problems can become very defensive.

sit down with your o/h and try and get to the root of the problem, but i do understand that that is a lot easier said than done.
keep posting, good luck xx

ps hi jack xx

as usual there is a lot of great advice floating around but this one is the first one I saw this morning when I scanned through...

so true..

the problem is there and needs fixing.

at the end of the day, this is not a good life and you're not happy. If he's working away for most of the week, what's he doing then?

alcoholism is a manifestation of so many issues that an online forum is just a start.

Deep down, your OH will know it's not right. the problem is that part of him is so covered by layers and layers of denial that he needs to get some space to work it out and get everything into perspective. He needs to believe there is a way out. And have it shown to him.

My best advice is to keep posting on here and you'll hopefully get some support from folks who've been through it to various levels and aren't surprised by much.

If you need to PM me you can.

IF you could somehow get your OH anywhere near this thread that would be a huge bonus.

I could type all morning and make no real difference to what you're going through now but I hope that the days do improve. You just need to break through this barrier, somehow so the real "him" can speak to you.

take care

Bis

eselt

Hi all- I think reading posts from people who are worried about others drinking has really hit home to me how selfish I was, people must have been having these conversations about me.

In terms of 'denial' I think thats overstated sometimes, I think most people who have a drink problem know it, they are not in denial, they're just ashamed and don't want to go public with it so try to deny it. Deep down, like Bis says, we know somethings not right.....................

Best of luck everyone today