The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread!

polaroid

Hi guys, hope you are all ok.
Winebox, forgive me for been asking, but why do you have to drink when you see your OH? i know what you mean about the eating healthily thing. i think my body is in shock at the moment. My skin is terrible -i'd like to think its detoxing!!!
am so glad i havnt got in the booze in the house, i am past it now at this time but i am still craving at 6 o'clock until about 9ish.
I was talking to a friend of mine today who went to rehab a year ago and he told me about a mantra that some rehab clinics use, even though i am not religious i think its quite thought provoking:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things that i cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can and the willingness to take action

stay strong peeps xxx

eselt

Winebox- what a dilemma? I know what its like to try and stop drinking when you have a partner who drinks and is happy with that...the temptation is irresistable. I think its really difficult to try to explain to someone who drinks, controls it, enjoys it and doesn't have a problem that you and alcohol have come to the end of the line. Tough call- but I would see OH anyway, as being on my own for such a long time was often 'licence to drink yourself silly, play guitar and sing your head off-who will know?' (apart from aall the people in the house who you are keeping awake) and thats not good either. Perhaps its better to keep yourself distracted by seeing OH rather than brood over drink and battle away on your own. I had a date last week with a lovely guy, but in an hour he had sunk 4 pints and although I didn't mind I felt really anxious thinking 'how much is this guy going to put away' and by the end of the night he was really drunk (the whole club was really drunk mind you) and I just felt like a spare part watching someone elses car crash- I'm just not very good around drinkers or drunken gatherings anymore- I cringed when I saw all the trashed girls on hen nights etc- particulalrly the ones throwing up and staggering around- that was me not so long ago and in the cold light of sober day I feel ashamed.

Poloroid- re:skin- you will see lots of previous posts about this, but stopping drinking does improve your skin no end- it goes back to being the right colour (not flushed or blotchy) and after the initial detox that waxy oversensitive shine goes away and you get a peachy complexion back- plus the puffiness goes and makes your face a bit thinner-win-win really.

Hope everyone is OK tonight, I'm wittering on because I have D (free) Day tommorrow- no more drugs, no more drink, cold light of day, real world- and I'm really nervous, but I know I WILL not undo all of this, its taken me years to get to this stage and I'm determined my 40's are going to be the happiest and healthiest time of my life- I've bought some green tea bags today (yep..thats how serious I am!!!!!).

Good luck everyone- eselt

jo1972

eselt wrote: »

I've bought some green tea bags today (yep..thats how serious I am!!!!!).

Blimey, that is serious! :eek: Good on ya!

Bismarck

polaroid wrote: »

Hi guys, hope you are all ok.
Winebox, forgive me for been asking, but why do you have to drink when you see your OH? i know what you mean about the eating healthily thing. i think my body is in shock at the moment. My skin is terrible -i'd like to think its detoxing!!!
am so glad i havnt got in the booze in the house, i am past it now at this time but i am still craving at 6 o'clock until about 9ish.
I was talking to a friend of mine today who went to rehab a year ago and he told me about a mantra that some rehab clinics use, even though i am not religious i think its quite thought provoking:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things that i cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can and the willingness to take action

stay strong peeps xxx

AA have the serenity prayer:

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I Cannot change…

Courage to change the things I can

And Wisdom to know the difference…

[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]For what it's worth - it's a favourite of Robbie Williams too.

your skin will take a while to improve : keep up with the vitamins, fresh fruit, plenty of water and exercise if you can. It will get a lot better - you'll be surprised.....
[/FONT]

Bismarck

eselt wrote: »

Winebox- what a dilemma? I know what its like to try and stop drinking when you have a partner who drinks and is happy with that...the temptation is irresistable. I think its really difficult to try to explain to someone who drinks, controls it, enjoys it and doesn't have a problem that you and alcohol have come to the end of the line. Tough call- but I would see OH anyway, as being on my own for such a long time was often 'licence to drink yourself silly, play guitar and sing your head off-who will know?' (apart from aall the people in the house who you are keeping awake) and thats not good either.


Very tough - that's one of the reasons Mollypolly imressed me so much earlier on when she's going though that. Am very fortunate that Mrs Bis doesn't drink in the house - she could if she wanted to but is pretty much against it - especially now.

Perhaps its better to keep yourself distracted by seeing OH rather than brood over drink and battle away on your own. I had a date last week with a lovely guy, but in an hour he had sunk 4 pints and although I didn't mind I felt really anxious thinking 'how much is this guy going to put away' and by the end of the night he was really drunk (the whole club was really drunk mind you) and I just felt like a spare part watching someone elses car crash- I'm just not very good around drinkers or drunken gatherings anymore-

I'm not either - not sure I ever will be. I hope you can find a date who is compatible with your new lifestyle - I hope that doesn't mean boring but someone who drinks that much is not going to be helpful to your needs.


I cringed when I saw all the trashed girls on hen nights etc- particulalrly the ones throwing up and staggering around- that was me not so long ago and in the cold light of sober day I feel ashamed.

Poloroid- re:skin- you will see lots of previous posts about this, but stopping drinking does improve your skin no end- it goes back to being the right colour (not flushed or blotchy) and after the initial detox that waxy oversensitive shine goes away and you get a peachy complexion back- plus the puffiness goes and makes your face a bit thinner-win-win really.

Hope everyone is OK tonight, I'm wittering on because I have D (free) Day tommorrow- no more drugs, no more drink, cold light of day, real world- and I'm really nervous, but I know I WILL not undo all of this, its taken me years to get to this stage and I'm determined my 40's are going to be the happiest and healthiest time of my life- I've bought some green tea bags today (yep..thats how serious I am!!!!!).

I've got green tea bags too.



Good luck everyone- eselt

Your friends are with you. Please remember that.

beachbeth

I had some vodka last night and wish I hadn't. I had about 4-5 and Ive got a headache this morning. I don't think vodka suits me any more and I think I might just stick to Malibu or Bacardi breezers in future. Not good for my intended diet though. I used to be able to get falling down drunk on vodka and not have a headache so I suppose its my age!:rolleyes: My Slimming World books should hopefully be in the post today and Im going to really follow it. Ive promised myself all week that I can have a nice glass of red with my tea tonight (goes so well with chilli!) and so I will, but I don't really want much more after that.

We were so busy yesterday and really needed to sit and chill in front of the tv. So OH had his beer and I had my glass of vodka. As I drank it I realised that it wasn't helping me chill at all. The fact that I was sitting and relaxing was chilling me and not the drink. I think we attribute so much to alcohol and it just isn't true. We think we can't have a good time without it, can't relax without it etc. We have to just change our mindset and realise that it just doesn't have these magical properties that we think it has. The Allen Carr book illustrates this too.

I can understand your dilemma, Winebox. Difficult not to drink when you're with someone who is. Couldn't you pretend you've got antibiotics or a funny stomach, even try to believe it yourself, in order to abstain? Not nice to lie though, I know. Or substitute the alcohol for a different treat that you can look forward to? Like a huge bag of popcorn or strawberries dipped in melted chocolate (yum!). Good luck whatever you decide.;)

frugallass

Good morning

I'm feeling quite proud of myself today, walked home from work last night (trying to get fit) and had to walk past 2 pubs, hubby asked if I wanted to call in for a pint as we reached both of them and I said 'no' !

Got home, had tea and he said he fancied a lager, offered me one and I said 'no' - DD asked if I was feeling ok

I didn't snack last night either (I had my tea purposely later than usual).

Thanks for listening !

winebox

Hi all,
Unexpectedly slept like a log last night, thought I'd be really twitchy, so feeling perky today! Unfortunately when the alarm went off I was just at the bar ordering a lunchtime G&T with a slice of lime (something I never actually do - that's dreams for you) so THAT's on my mind!

Thanks for the feedback re tonight. Perfectly reasonable question re why do I have to drink with OH. It's a lovely thing to do....as long as it doesn't get out of hand...........And, he enjoys his drink very much (but isn't stoopid with it like I am) & I don't want to make him uncomfortable or awkward about it. What I've GOT to do is stop trying to keep up! I am out of control too early on whilst he is still fine so then I go for it, I must must learn to pace myself.

I think if this had happened 3 weeks or so down the line, & assuming all was going well, I wouldn't be phased, but cos I've only got one AFD behind me the temptation to just say sod it I'll start after the weekend will, I think, be too overwhelming. I appreciate what you say Eselt about being on my own brooding but I think I will be more relaxed on my own (& will get a lie in tomorrow for the first time in months!!!!!) than trying not to drink whilst he is. Right now I feel happy to stay in, we'll see!

Well done frugallass!

Beachbeth sorry to hear you're not too well today. Age certainly makes a lot of difference.

Never mind all you 40 yr olds, I'm 50 next year!

Which only goes to show, there's no fool like an old fool........

polaroid

Hey, well done frugallas, I bet you feel very good today. its funny, i have been so used to waking up with a headache every day that i convinced my self it was stress. yes i am stressed but without booze that doesnt equal a headache!!
i still look like crap but i am definately sleeping better. i find i am not waking up as much through the night, which is good. thanks for the post eselt, i ve had a read through and am sticking to the water and looking forward to it getting better. I hope that you are ok, good luck for today.
i am giving myself a test on saturday, i am going out (driving so i have NO excuse) and i want to see everybody else drunk. i know it sounds strange but i want to be shocked. i need to be reminded how stupid i look when i am drunk and how my dignity just goes. so that will be interesting (like eselt and the hen do's).
thanks for all your words of wisdom again bismarck, jo are you Ok? winebox i hope you have sorted out your dilema for tonight! i hate fridays its been my "allowed" wine night for years now. got crisps, oranges, hot choc, diet coke and a pile of gossip mags lined up to distract me -hope there is something good on tv!!
xxx

In_a_Mess_3

Hi all, a night last night without drink again!!

That means in the last week I have only drunk every other night, but tonight I will not be drinking and trying not to for the next few weeks, I have noticed that when I don't drink I sleep better and my skin looks better.

This is a quick post as being hassled by a 4 year old but just wanted to say well done to all of you again, and thanks Jo, yes baby steps, very small baby steps but that's what keeps me going.

I have recently discovered the Schweppes range and love the Grapefruit and Mandarin, am finding it a good substitute for the Wine.

Polaroid, liking the idea of the gossip mags, I don't usually get them but I think I might tonight, and I shall dig our my cross stitch too. Keeping busy may be the key :cool:

Anyway, must go, apologies for not mentioning all of you by name, but will be on this thread later for a bit longer hopefully. :j