The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread!

Bismarck

ericca wrote: »

[FONT=&quot]Well friends, my boyfriend recently had a detox and they say that he needs to enter a drug rehab in order to fully recover. Is it true? I mean, is entering a drug rehab really necessary? I really miss but if entering a drug rehab will be the best option for him to be completely fine then I’m okay with it. Is it recommended to enter a drug rehab in Kentucky after a detox?[/FONT]

Looks like you'll need to trust the experts on this one....depends a lot on the actual circumstances and we'd be speaking out of turn to contradict medical opinion.

jo1972

shopaholictiedtheknot wrote: »

Jo - my Dad died in 1994 (suicide) and it affected me really badly, and like you I am very much independant and don't like not to be in control, in fact I have developed a phobia about being a passenger in cars over the last few years which my OH says is part of being a control freak!! Your psychotherapist sounds very good - did you get referred or are you going private? (hope you don't mind me asking!)

How weird, I also have a car passenger phobia :eek: (also buses, trains and tubes :rolleyes:)

I was completely enlightened last night, I realise that my entire outlook of control was blown out of the water the day my dad died, I didn't really drink much around that time or before but started literally the week he passed. I am afraid of letting anyone do anything for me, even down to OH doing the shopping/cooking/cleaning etc.. (isn't he lucky!), I panic that things are not going to be done right and I will end up with twice the work. Although I discovered whilst talking to her last night that when I'm not well and can't do stuff at home, this is only when I'm really ill like sick or summat and take myself to bed, I feel quite great about saying to them indoors 'I'm not well so do it yourself', I don't care how it's done, it's their problem.

I am now thinking of occasions where I can't let things go....just for example, DS has a fancy dress thing at school tomorrow, I've not discussed it with anyone indoors and I've decided what I'm going to do for him and how it's going to be done. I've bought the stuff I need and I've planned how I'm going to do it. OH overheard me talking to DS last night about it and said why don't I get DD1 to do it today as she's now finished school and at home and afterall about to do A'Level art (it involves drawing on a t-shirt) and I become EXTREMELY possessive over my little mission. Now, if I'd of been drinking I would've got probably emotional and irrational over it, but when I looked at it sober, I thought 'eff it' why not! Although I'm not cured yet, I've actually got 3 t-shirts and told OH that he must do one as well as DD1 AND me and we'll see which one's best, I'm not delegating that easily :rolleyes: :rotfl:

I've learnt a hell of a lot over the past week or two..

barshamhillbilly

jo1972 wrote: »

How weird, I also have a car passenger phobia :eek: .

I just throw up as a passenger in a car ..... :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:
& feel sick on a train, bus, boat plane etc
Must get myself a horse and cart :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

sample_account

jo1972 wrote: »

looked at it sober, I thought 'eff it' why not! Although I'm not cured yet, I've actually got 3 t-shirts and told OH that he must do one as well as DD1 AND me and we'll see which one's best, I'm not delegating that easily :rolleyes: :rotfl:

I've learnt a hell of a lot over the past week or two..

Hi Jo,
It sounds like you are making real progress.


You can actually achieve far more by delegating. You may not get a perfect T-Shirt but you actually got 3 and I bet none of them were rubbish.

My OH is a control freak........doesn't like me doing the laundry, cooking, washing up or anything for that matter. Then she gets in a right strop when the house is a tip.

I usually wait 'till she's out and then get the children to each do a little bit. It's never as good as if I do it myself but it takes a quarter of the time AND it actually gets done rather than not at all.

Good luck for today!

shopaholictiedtheknot

I KNOW I take on too much, my OH has said it to me numerous times, I think that my obsession with doing everything stems from my Dad's death, there was a lot of family conflict (mainly between me and my mum) afterwards and I had to cope on my own with the funeral and all the rest of the arrangements and I still have a deep seated resentment towards my mum for not helping me. After that (a few years later) my husband and I split up and again I had to cope alone with a young daughter for years., and I think that I just can't get to grips with the fact that I have someone now who is perfectly willing and able to help me out with day to day affairs and life in general and I find myself doing everything and trying to be self-sufficient but as they say 'no man is an island' and I know my life would be easier if I could just delegate or at least allow my DD and OH to help out! Jo I am going to try and take a leaf out of your book!

sorry got carried away there, I think I need counselling :rolleyes:

jo1972

And you know what the strangest thing was..

I didn't have one craving, yes I thought about the fact that I wasn't drinking, but I felt as though I was in control and confident. Not one panic attack or empty feeling....

Bizarre....

Dunno what's gonna happen tonight yet, wait till we get there.

shopaholictiedtheknot

Good luck for tonight Jo! keep up the positive vibes!

lifesuckssometimes

shopaholictiedtheknot wrote: »

Morning all!

Welcome lifesucks - what a bizarre avatar you have!!

quote]

I CAN'T HELP THE WAY I LOOK

lifesuckssometimes

Unfortunately my mum was an alcoholic may be that is way i drink. but my depression doesn't help ether and being abused when i was young. i could write a book about my life but my written English is pants. my mum bless her did her best dad walked out when i was 8. Childrens home at 13 in there only 6 months my mum gave me another chance to behave But with all that i have 3 beautifull kids and a woman who puts up with me

lifesuckssometimes

also it is easier posting here than going to counselling which i havent for years now fighting my own battle with drink some days i just want one others i REALLY NEED A DRINK.. writing this i can taste a nice bottle of red..