I am not trying hard....



  • hypno06
    hypno06 Posts: 32,296 Forumite
    Combo Breaker First Post
    What a lovely honest post, Del....good for you.

    Now that you have this new motivation, you KNOW you can do this.

    But I will put my Mummy hat on and just say "look after yourself along the way"......no being silly now in your attempts to get debt free sooner. I want you happy and healthy along with your debt free-ness xxxxx

    (sorry, don't want to come across a nag, but you know what I mean ;) )
    Successful women can still have their feet on the ground. They just wear better shoes. (Maud Van de Venne)
    Life begins at the end of your comfort zone (Neale Donald Walsch)
  • I think is 90% of us tell the truth we often slip back into our old ways and accidentally spend £10 on, I don't know what???:o
    Good on you for giving yourself a virtual butt kick :-)))

    I know I have slipped slightly, doing something pretty daft. I have been on the old-style board and I have made myself some laundry detergent. This is VERY cheap at about 100 washes for £5. That made me feel good, so I then went onto making soap :D . BUT.....Soap making is NOT cheap, I went on Ebay and bought a mold, a thermometer, essential oil. But when I came down from my spending spree I realised that about 9 homemade soaps are probably going to cost me WELL over £10, and thats only the ingredients, let alone the mold and thermometer etc.:eek:

    Slipping back into my old ways of rushing off with a hair-brained idea and frittering money away :o , many thanks for this post as I have given myself a kick up the butt and will check myself on everything I spend from now on. :T
  • Sassers
    Sassers Posts: 1,303 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Photogenic
    God what a brilliant post and replies....
    It really made me think. I had the first lightbulb moment in July 2006. I was enthusiastic, paid off three debts including a student loan.
    What I've done since is enjoy the MSE Debt free wannabee thing but `coasted'.
    OK I've kept OH and my familt afloat with their mortgages and homes etc but I had a huge sort of revelation about three weeks ago.
    Although I have helped them, it is ME that is responsible to hammer my debt down. And yes it's all very well being MSE/DFW like I said but this was like a secondary lightbulb moment.
    It actually comes down to being determined to get a second income no matter how tired or ill I feel (in for a serious hospital op in March).
    The financial houses and debtees don't give two hoots that I am ill, supporting my family by splitting my wages three ways or menu plan meals so I eat for less than £1.20 a day...They just want their cash.
    I am also dylexic with numbers and it is frightening sometimes but I have to get tough and pay my debt.
    I've come to realise I can either let myself get close to mentally breaking down in pieces (which we've all been there, or most of us). Or I can try. And trying means there's always a choice.
    Last Summer I felt suicidal, had insomnia, shaking, crying, reading tons of books as escapism into cleaner, nicer worlds (I know the symptoms very well when a paperback the size of say the Other Boleyn Girl takes me two evenings) and a host of other symptoms.
    I've now started treating the repayment of my debt a bit like a millitary campaign and believe me it does feel like going into battle.
    I have written out an action plan for the next 12 months which is a bit like a knock-on effect. You have to do this to get to this....etc
    Number one is squirrel away second job money to pay to log all bank charges claims in court - there's over 10 of them.
    Second thing is to get op out the way, get better and persevere with second job.
    Third thing is to clear house and have a carboot sale, then apply for another job while I'm off and also because I am off, make sure I spend the bare minimum and use that to hurl at debts.
    Oh and it's hard.......... bloody hard, but it ain't going to go away.
    Also I've just realised that it's all very well being rufty tufty and preparing to `dragon slay' the debt, hard and tough and uncomprimising, but isn't being kinder to yourself also part of this learning process?
    Yes you have maybe had a holiday or brought DVD's CD's mountains of clothes when you shouldn't have but there are always alternatives.
    Sorry I'm really not preaching honest - but I've found if you can't have the expensive holiday, acknowlege it and do something else cheaper.
    My dream hol is fishing in Cuba or the Maldives but let me tell you it ain't going to happen.
    Instead I will be camping somewhere off a beach in Wales fishing that way. I might not even have to camp as I live only 1/2 an hour from the coast and near loads of lakes and rivers...
    With me it's like a screaming crying foot-stamping child inside my head `I want I want I want THAT...' and it won't go away! Like an adult version of Tiny Tearaways......lol
    So I pacify `it' with a cheaper alternative - instead of a kebab, meal plan and budget to buy the ingredients from the Turkish and Greek shops and make your own.
    Shuts up my whining mind, makes me feel more in control and I've saved a bit of cash.

    Sorry to ramble on and on - usually I write short posts but lately they've been getting longer as I'm trying to get a grip with thought-provoking posts like this one....

    Have a lovely day all - lots of love and hugs
    Sassers xxxx
    Current debt and mortgage: £25, 820.35 Debt/Mortgage at start: £92,598 (27/09/2010)
  • redmel1621
    redmel1621 Posts: 6,002 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post
    What a great post Deliciosa....

    You have put into words how I (and others) feel, and you have really inspired me to get a grip of myself tooo...

    Mel x
    Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot,
    Nothing is going to get better. It's not.
  • Wow, I can only echo what everyone here's said: I didn't notice you creeping into my head to collect my thoughts!!
    Thank you, Deliciosa, you should definitely be nominated for post of the month.
    Maybe we should start a DFW 'Time-Out' thread, for those of us who succumb to lapses in resolve!
    LBM: 14.01.08 - Debt at 25.04.08: £7420.9
    25.06.10: 3200.00 :T I'm over half way there!!! :j
    'Spendaholics Anonymous' Thread Member No 1
    DMP Mutual Support Thread Member No 113
  • I totally relate to that, I have been coasting too. Up until last September, was still using one of my credit cards for day to day bits and bobs, and still buying lunch every day because I was too lazy to make it, and still getting pulled into doing things that cost money with friends instead of being firm and saying no!

    Then last October I realised it couldn't go on, and I had to stamp it out asap. Am now keeping a proper spending diary every day. My debt was £7244 at my LBM in March 06, and end of last September it was just over £5000 as I recall. So even if it was bang on that, it meant I'd only paid off £2244 in 18 months. As of today my debt is 2994 so in the 5 months I've paid off £2006, almost as much in 6 months as in three times that amount of time before that! Yes I now earn slightly more, but by just being a bit more frugal I can still go out and about and make a big dent in it. I want the last 2000 paid off in the next three months, and after that will try not to kick myself too much that all of this could have been gone 12 months ago! You're not alone anyway!
    1st LBM (Pre-Career Change): 01 March 2006 Debt Free Date: 28 April 2008 | Worst Debt: £7244.36

    2nd LBM: 10 December 2019 Current Debt £25,322 [April 2020] | Worst Debt: £27,444
  • I know exactly what you mean. I am just the same and I know what I should be doing but I just can't! Very frustrating.

    Am now married since last weekend and I am hoping this will push me to finally taking responsibility for myself and my actions.

    So maybe we could use this thread to keep each other motivated and remind each other to stay on track.
    [STRIKE]CC 1: £102[/STRIKE] / C[STRIKE]C 2: £349[/STRIKE] / [STRIKE]CC 3: £1000[/STRIKE]
    CC 4: £1000 / CC 5: [STRIKE]£150 [/STRIKE] / CC 6: [STRIKE]£500[/STRIKE]
    CC 7: [STRIKE]£500 [/STRIKE]/ [STRIKE]CC 8: £1183[/STRIKE]/ [STRIKE]CC 9: £1639[/STRIKE]

    Total debt: [STRIKE]£6,423[/STRIKE] :mad: £[STRIKE]6,128[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]£5,978 [/STRIKE][STRIKE]£4,099[/STRIKE][STRIKE]£3,639[/STRIKE]
  • Well, I've been trying to post something like this for weeks - and I could never have put it better than you.

    What a truly excellent post. Like you, my debt bothers me in that I should never have got into debt (purely through living the lifestyle I want rather than earn) and, because I can easily get credit (and therefore have had 0% for years) and pay off the minimum I do. I cannot get my head around making savings of a few pounds here and there because it seems to make no difference. I then come on here and see the people who have real difficulties and only have a desire to help them - and feel silly if I posted my procrastinating way of dealing with my debt.

    Great post! Perhaps we should start a supporter's thread for those of us in a similar position - I just need a real kick I think.
  • floss2
    floss2 Posts: 8,030 Forumite
    Deliciosa, I think you've helped rather a lot of people with that post.

    However, having become debt-free through hard work, an inheritance from my mum and a bank charge refund, I would suggest that you give yourself a "treats" budget of however much you think is reasonable each month - whether it be for a DVD / bottle of nice wine / cheap night in with girlie mates etc.

    The road to becoming debt-free can become very disheartening and downright dull - which may cause you to regress into spending on the very cards you're trying to pay off.

    Good luck, and I know how you feel - a chunk of my debt was of my own making too, it wasn't all down to my ex-husband.

    Floss xx
  • Snaggles
    Snaggles Posts: 19,503 Forumite
    Wow Del, fabulous post! :T

    I hope it gives you the motivation to get rid of the debt once and for all. :)
    "I wasn't wrong, I just wasn't right enough."
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors


  • All Categories
  • 343.1K Banking & Borrowing
  • 250.1K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 449.7K Spending & Discounts
  • 235.2K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 607.8K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 173K Life & Family
  • 247.8K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 15.9K Discuss & Feedback
  • 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards