I am not trying hard....



  • Mozette wrote: »
    I think you should print that first post out, carry in your wallet/purse, and read it whenever you're tempted.
    Anything like me, by the time you've read it, you'll have forgotten what you wanted to buy anyway!!!

    Mozette, that's not a bad idea at all, I have already written £4135 on a post it and stuck it in the inside of my purse. That's how much debt I have. Hopefully it will have an effect on my spending!! ;)
    Total debt £3625.07. :o
    Goals: 1.) DFD December 2008 (snowball) / October 2008 (me:o ) 2.) Salary £30kpa (currently £26450pa) 3.) Slim down to 55kg (currently 68kg :( ) 4.) Start stoozing :j
    I do not NEED that DVD Tough love club Member #1
  • Mozette
    Mozette Posts: 2,247 Forumite
    Actually I think I might print it out & carry it round with me.

    Cracking post.
  • Toto
    Toto Posts: 6,680 Forumite
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Well done you :T

    I've paid off my debt but i still overspend. The other week I got so fed up with my random online spending I stuck a bit of electrical tape to the top of my laptop and wrote on it 'I DON'T BLOODY NEED IT' :) seems to be working so far :rotfl:
    "Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid" - Albert Einstein
  • I'm another one who doesn't really try either. We booked a weeks holiday in August, £1,600, that could have gone off our debts. Not trying is it? I too will fully focus, once the holiday's paid off that is.
  • CAFCGirl
    CAFCGirl Posts: 9,122 Forumite
    Photogenic Name Dropper First Anniversary First Post
    Mozette wrote: »
    Actually I think I might print it out & carry it round with me.

    Cracking post.
    I have printed it out to carry round with me.....

    Never know it might just be what I need to crack this nasty habit :confused:
    Manifesting Abundance in 2023
    Fashion On The Ration 2023 36/66
  • maz1964
    maz1964 Posts: 903 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Wow, you have actually spoken from the heart, i really felt what you said and yes, its scary when you first start reading the posts andmoving around the site and seeing others problems, but all can be overcome, even my own, and i promise to set up my soa this week, as ive been feeling down about the debt i know there are wonderful people on here that can offer guidance and help.

    Im really going to sit down and write down everything we owe and get it listed on the board here and then i know i will get good advice. Ive already learnt so much but am willing to learn even more as knowledge is power, so my grand dad used to tell me.

    So you have truely inspired me to take action and not mull about what to do first and next etc .

    My mortgage arrears are urgent but overall help is what i need to address too.

    Off to bed now docs appointment tomorrow but will work on my soa and get it posted as soon as possible. If nothing else i do this for us then it will begin to help us focus on what we need to do.

    Have a fun rest of the week and keep happy

    Ciao MAZ
    Sealed Pot Challenge member 1525

    "Knowledge is the Power to get Debt Free":j

    Truecall device, stops all the unneccesary phone calls - my sanity has been restored and the peace in the house is truely priceless!:rotfl:
  • deliciosa wrote: »
    I realised something today. I have been telling myself for the last year that it's not fair that I am in debt, that I am trying so hard, that it's not working out, it's all other people's fault. Actually, who am I fooling.

    I am not trying so hard. At least I wasn't , until very recently. Unlike most of this forum, my debt never gave me the sort of headache it gives to other people. I could always afford paying back the minimum etc. I thought of DWF-ing as a new fun hobby, intoxicated by success, then dissappointed by failure, it has never been a matter of life and death to me. Yes, true, I did all the Martin "cut back" etc, but I wasn't stretching myself. I wasn't trying so hard. That's why, after a year, I am still in debt! I am still as much in debt as I was before. I bought myself expensive holiday, and then I came here crying that I am in debt - well shame on me.

    And as for it not being fair - it is fair. I could have bought budget airline ticket s instead of British Airways, even if the saving is only £20. I could have taken the tube to the Heathrow and not the paddington express. I could have bothered to buy diet cokes at tesco for £2.55 per six cans than a can for 80p at the corner shop, because that 30p DOES make a difference.

    Over the last few days I have been reading the forum and other people's stories extensively. And even though I have been here for a year, I realised, I still had no clue about what a DWF is. I see people in broken homes, having sleepless nights and I am ashamed, ashamed that even though my debt is manageable, compared to them, I still can't get rid of it, even though I could have, over the last year. Yes, if I hadn't done the middle eastern holiday, the trip with my sister, and if only I had spent just £50 less a month than I did, and I could have, I would be debt free now! And here I am, with $4000 debt.

    I don't want to be part of the "debt free wannabe-trend". I dont want to come here and celebrate my debt and pretend that I am miserable and trying too hard, when I am actually not, and loads of people here are. I want to be a real DFW. A real debt free wannabe. I want to see the number £4000 every tijme I open my purse to pay for something. I want to realise that every time I spend money, I am borrowing money, until that £4000 is paid back. I need to realise that if I want to be debt free, I have to pay back my debt, and that I can only do by not spending my money. This sounds simple, but for me it wasn't. My life was about allowing myself this, and that, and treating myself to this little thing, and that meal out... and then coming here and moaning about how unfair life is. (so if it happens again, someone pinch me, please!).

    There are people here whose debt is unfair. Bank charges, circumstances, debt collection agencies, lost job, etc.... My debt is NOT unfair. I was spending beyond my means, I have spent every penny myself, I have enjoyed every single item I bought MYSELF. I am the one who brought it on me, and I am the one who needs to make it go away. It's not unfair, it's my doing, it's my fault. Finally I realise this. I a the one who was stupid and not my boss, my friends, or Martin, or you, here, in the forum!

    I need to put an end to this. I need to pay back this £4000 that I owe and get my life back on the track. I am sick and tired of my own excuses, my own mistakes, and I am sick and tired of my ungratefulness that complete strangers here try to help me with their whole heart and I am letting them down, and letting myself down. I am tired of the feeling I get on payday when I distribute my money to my cards, paying back part of the debt, realising that I have not received any money at all, again, because it's not mine.. and then spending on those cards for a dvd, because that takes me out of the reality, or on food, because that gives me instant happiness, or expensive holidays,, to show to the world that I am fine. I am not fine, I am in debt, I have done this to myself and I will sort this out.

    Just wanted to write this out of myself. Things will change from now on. I will show everyone here, that I can and will be debt free. This year. By September, preferably. don't know how - actually, I have a simple plan. I will only spend my money on what is cheap and essential. I will not moan about my debt but work on it so it dissappears. And I will constantly read other people's stories to remind myself how lucky I am that this forum and you lovely people found me in time, before things got really serious.

    Thanks for reading it.

    So who's fault is it if it isn't yours? :confused:


    Bit late now but don't be too hard on yourself! :p
  • Great post and you sound really determined now. You can do this. Don't be like me-I used to be like you before I had children and thought nothing of putting holidays on credit cards or having a splurge on my cards to buy myself a new outfit or having beauty treatments. I had disposable income then and was easily able to pay them off. Then after I had my DS I was on maternity leave and used my cards for essentials such as shopping and petrol because I'd run out of money and then when I went back to work I had £530 nursery fees a month to find. there went my disposable income and I really struggled to find the £100 odd a month it took just to pay the minimum off my debt. make sure you get debt free by September because you don't want debts hanging around in case your cirumstances change. Good luck!
    HSBC Visa-High interest-£2349.23 Nat West £2605.18
    My Overdraft-£1500
    Marks and Spencer card- 3331.30 next 92.67
    Total was 11066.29 now £10,968.15
  • Wow :T :T :T

    B****Y good post

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