please help me :(

patchy987

i cant do this anymore, i am currently crying and all alone, i dont know what to do now (hubby is at work) i just dont want to be here anymore.

Jules2000_2

Hey Patchy, don't despair. Take advice from the good people of these boards. NOTHING is worth doing the ultimate. It's only money hunny. Have a look at my signature - as you can see I got our family into a right old mess but I've faced up to it and will not let it beat me. I'm selling everything on ebay which isn't tied down, it's a good job my daughter's at my parents for half term! :rotfl:

Do you have a family? (apart from your good old hubbie)


Jules

patchy987

we have done the ebay and car boot thing, got nothing left to sell to be honest. people say its only money but it feels worse to me, it feels like we could lose our home as if the IVA really need 966 we just dont have it. we dont have any kids ourselves as the IVA wont allow it and by the time its finished i will be too old so kids can never happen your comment about your daughter made me smile though so thanks , i needed that , its nice to have a smile through the tears

cunningfox_2

Dudette you are me 6 years ago!

I have a few things to say

1 The letter will and I mean WILL resolve itself, although not perfectly fine or acceptable it is possible for one of these things to arrive 4 weeks after you spoke with them - I had one arrive on my door step 2 months after the arrangement was in place and paid! Not a happy bunny!

2 You know what was said / agreed - they won't change it! Either way.

3 It is a worry and nobody will belittle that, however it is only money and they can not take what you do not have!

I really wish I had discovered this site all those years ago when I went through my problems I also felt alone and helpless. I am not saying life is easy now but I don't worry about coming home each night to see what is there - you can too. People here seem a real help.

Effort, planning and a long slog but anything is possible.

So clear your head, sleep! Stop crying, cos that don't help (if tears were worth a penny each I would be a rich man!) and get your plan down on paper and then copied to every clear space in the house!

All easy for me to say, now I can see the light at the end of my tunnel - for you it is a speck of grey but you gotta head on towards it!

Be strong and good luck

Wol2

Hi sweetheart

I'm sure there will be podple along tomottor who can hlep you with the praticalities. In the mean time I can offer you
(a) BIG hugs!!!
(b) the reassurance is that you are in the best plac eyou possibly can be here on DFW
(c) the reassurance that you are NOT alone and finally
(d)....many of us have been in the black pit where you are now..and we know how bad that can be......please do not despair utterly...there really can be light at the end of the tunnel..the secret is to hang in there in your darkest momnets...and we are definitely here to hlep you through those!!!

Many of us have the T shirt..albeit in preparation for wearing!!!

Courage mon brave!!! You are NOT alone....and you WILL get through this!!

Sorry I can't be of more practical help at this time...but my thoughts are with you.

Much love
Wol2
xxxx

Jules2000_2

Hiya

Glad I cheered you up, even though it was fleeting!

Was it a debt management comany that dealt with your IVA? The lady you spoke to originally about the arrears, did you get her name? I don't know if you've phoned CCCS to see if they can help but I would if I were you - I know they are recommended all over the place on this forum. Even if you can speak to a sensible person there who you can talk through your options with, it may help to make you feel 'better'.

As I said before though, don't do anything silly. I use the word 'silly', not because I'm trying to play down how you're feeling, it's just I can't bear the thought of the feelings you're having to make you feel so desperate and down. What you've got to remember is - nothing is more precious to your husband than YOU.

As dancingfairy said earlier in her post (I'd quote it but I don't know how lol!!) but basically you're a good, honest person who is trying her best to deal with the situation, and trying to pay off what you owe - this is more than some people do.

I've got to go to bed now as I have to be up at 6. I'll check in in the morning. Take care Patchy, look after yourself and we'll 'speak' in the morning. I'll see if I can find you a good joke to maybe bring a smile to your face again.

Night night
Jules

patchy987

thanks guys, i need to get my head around what you are all saying, i have printed this page out and im going to take my dog and sit in the park for a bit to clear my head and have a read. i know its late but i feel trapped in the house and need some air.

patchy987

well after a sleepless night, i rang them up and to say they were less than helpful is a complete understatement. they will not listen to anything i am saying and still swear the arrears are 966 but then say that i shouldnt worry as im still under the 3 month arrears which would fail the arrangement. can they not see they are making me ill with worry. i am so lost as to what to do now.

outrageous_monkey

oooh Patchy (((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))

I really really wish I could help you, but like the others have said phone CCCS....by the sounds of it, the people who you have the IVA with are next to useless and obviously communication isnt there strong point.

From what I can read off this board CCCS know what they are doing.......just give them a call, its free, I'd be really surprised if they cant help...

..then come and post again and let us know how you got on.

outrageous_monkey

bump.................