Leaving the workplace to 'work' at home

Angelina-M

Lotus-eater wrote: »

As a male am I allowed to put my side
From experience, if someone stays at home you can run your lives much better and cheaper. I'm not saying its right for everyone, but if it works for you, then do it.
Me and the Mrs, we have weird work and we both have stints at home looking after the kids and being a housewife people say "well never mind you're doing a good job and lots of men do it " :rotfl: when I tell them what I've been doing. Like I care what they think. Lots of laughs when I go supermarket shopping with kids, or go for a walk in the park in the middle of the day.
Tbh though, to get back to work and leave it all behind is a great relief and a rest, OK so I have to worry about losing thousands of pounds on a job instead of 20p on a pack of mince, but somehow the pressure seems less

I couldn't do it all the time, but I enjoy the kids when I do do it. If you like doing it (and your family will definitely IMHO have a better life and diet) then do it and enjoy it.

ps, I enjoy the cooking as well, love my food and the family get to benefit from my brilliant ability to make something out of whatever we have lying around. In fact I'm alot better at budgeting for food than the OH and we get better beer when I do the shopping

The thing is that by leaving my job and staying at home we have ended up with far more more than we ever would have. Let me explain if I may because I'm so het up over that silly womans ramblings.

When we first married and I had my first daughter, we were so poor that I couldn't even put meat on the table and we would eat pasta or cheap grade sausages every night. I had another daughter twenty months later so stayed at home for a few years.

When the girls were a bit older I went back to work. I worked evenings and hubby worked days. We were knackered so we took the decision for me to leave work and find other ways to make up for the lost salary.

I started cooking with whatever ingredients I found on the reduced section and buying things from the carboot sale and selling them in the local paper (ebay was in its infancy in those days) I remortgaged to a better deal and before long I was easily 'earning back' my lost wages.

But the main advantage to this was the time factor.... we had loads of it! We went from falling into bed exhausted to going on trips out or just walking with the kids.

Hubby found loads of extra time and started applying for better jobs and when the kids went to school I did a degree in computers!

Nowadays I still dont work but we are far more comfortable than we could ever have imagined. We eat very healthy meals and have time to relax. I've started my blog explaining all this, its still in the early stages though.

I honestly believe that if I had continued struggling to work, then hubby would never have had the time to sit down and sort out his career and progress it.

Its the best thing I ever did and I tell everyone who will listen! I actually find that quite a few of my friends are envious of our lifestyle. They would love to sit down to a proper home cooked meal but they are too busy shuffling childminders etc.

Its everyone's own choice and thats great, unless of course you want to stay at home and dont think you can afford to. These are the people I try and talk to. Changing your lifestyle and getting a money makeover with Martins advice, it could be achievable.

You go for it girl and apologise to no one!

Olliebeak

When my eldest started school (aged 4 - no nursery in 1977) I found myself the ideal job for someone in my particular position. A part-time (10 - 2) position as an Assistant Bursar in a Comp. School with school holidays free if needed :j .

No.1 son in school for 9, bus to work at 9.15, in work for 10, leave at 2.00 and collect son at 3.00 - what could be better!!! What could go wrong? An accidental No.2 pregnancy after 1 month in the job - oh dear :rolleyes: ! And what a little treasure he turned out to be :A .

FrankieM

I find its also good to remind myself that we are 'human beings' not 'human doings'...

thriftlady_2

I've just realised that out of all the mums I chat to in the school playground I'm the only one who doesn't have paid employment. Gradually as our kids have got older they have all gone back to work. No one ever makes negative comments about my not working, but I often wonder if they are envious of me and if they think we are very well off. I also wonder if we are in fact very well off for me not to have to work, but we all seem to have the same standard of living. I do feel guilty sometimes when other mums tell me about how awful their jobs are and I find myself saying something like 'Oh I'm so glad I don't work'. I also feel guilty when OH comes home tired after a bad day and a bad journey home. I feel maybe I should work part-time and he could take a job with less pressure and commuting. He doesn't really like that idea though.

I do realise how lucky I am to be able to do the job I love. I hated going to work, it was like going to school....well, it was going to school, i was a teacher:doh:

lightisfading

I'm incredibly jealous of you all... despite being only 24 I'm already sick of the 9-5 and would love to not go out to work. (and I'm not deluded, I know its not all sat in front of the telly... that would bore me stupid anyway). I've already told OH when we have kids I'm staying home if its at all possible! I'm currently working in a bank and it just feels meaningless, as well as all the stress I don't have any sense of achievement at the end of the day.

Angelina-M

lightisfading wrote: »

I'm incredibly jealous of you all... despite being only 24 I'm already sick of the 9-5 and would love to not go out to work. (and I'm not deluded, I know its not all sat in front of the telly... that would bore me stupid anyway). I've already told OH when we have kids I'm staying home if its at all possible! I'm currently working in a bank and it just feels meaningless, as well as all the stress I don't have any sense of achievement at the end of the day.

Thats how I felt. I worked in a bank then a supermarket then a factory. The factory paid best but I just wanted to scream that there's more to life than this.

As bank work isn't the best paid job in the world (no disrespect I just mean its probably easier to find the funds to replace your income) I bet you have a good chance of being able to stay at home when the kiddies come along.

I used to go to the car boot sales at the end of the day and buy things that were reduced down to less than a pound. I didnt really have ebay in those days but I still do it now and I've made hundreds by buying things and selling on. For instance, one stall was packing away and said anything 20p I bought some hair straighteners and sold them for over £10. That would have been approx two hours work for me in my day.

I changed the mortgage onto a better rate one and just shopped in a different way. Honestly within a year I was earning/saving more than I did working in a crappy job.

I've got my own personal reasons for being so pushy that women try to stay at home if they want to. I'm so thankful I was able to do it.

Lotus-eater

Just add up your childcare and all the other associated costs of going back to work, together with all the savings you are able to make by just having more time (no takeaways due to having no time) and see what the difference is. You might find that an extra £whatever per month just isn't worth all that hassle and stress.

Its in that book, can't remember what its called, the American money saving one.....damn, someone will remember what its called. By that woman...........

HairyHandofDartmoor

Before my children went to school I was a full time mum and I loved every minute of it.

However I did feel that people thought I was a bit lazy or something and that somehow I was a lesser person because I didn't work outside the home.

My mum had to overcome a lot of pressure to go back to work in the 1960s after having children, but now I feel that women have pressure to go back to work. Somehow the tables have turned!

I feel personally that being a housewife is a very important job. How many dirty, untidy and disorganized houses do you go into and think 'someone needs to spend a bit of time doing some housework here'. I'm not sexist, men or women can stay at home and manage the house, but it's important that someone does it!

thriftlady_2

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Its in that book, can't remember what its called, the American money saving one.....damn, someone will remember what its called. By that woman...........

Tightwad Gazette by Amy Dacyczyn ?

lilmisskitkat

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Just add up your childcare and all the other associated costs of going back to work, together with all the savings you are able to make by just having more time (no takeaways due to having no time) and see what the difference is. You might find that an extra £whatever per month just isn't worth all that hassle and stress.

Thats my reasoning too. I have Fibromyalgia and the unpredictability (is that even a word?! ) of my condition means i would struggle to hold down a job as well as doing things at home and with the kids (even with OH's help).

But even if i could work, the amount i would pay in childcare would make a serious dent, if not wipe out my earnings, the fact that i wouldn't be at home running things, cooking the meals from scratch, cleaning, being there to play and read stories, go to the swings etc makes working outside the home the wrong choice for me. I'm not saying its the right way, my sil was so depressed staying at home on maternity leave but shes a different person now shes back to work 3 days a week but everyone is different. Each to their own and all

I see being at home as my job anyway, instead of earning money i make the most of what we have coming in by being o/s with meals, shopping, cleaning etc, making a spare few £££s on ebay and things like that. I think, and OH agrees with me that we all benefit from it and we're happy with the way things are. And more than likely i will continue to stay at home when i've had all my kids and they're all at school.

Hope some of that made sense!

Kate xxx