Leaving the workplace to 'work' at home

skintscotslass

This is a great thread!

I went back to work full time when DD was 9 months old, becoming a single mum when she was 4 (she's now 14). Interestingly, I got a lot of pressure/comments on returning to work full time/at all. What I love about these boards is that no one is judgemental about anyones choices.

And I did love the comment about being like Mary Poppins - explaining yourself to no one!! I'm going to adopt that one!!

Angelina-M

HariboJunkie wrote: »

Did anyone see Liz Jone's article in the Mail on Sunday about the "Nigella Generation"? Link

This is a direct quote from the article...

"Women were suckered by feminism into wanting careers above all else. Now they all want to do an about-turn because, surprise surprise, they have discovered something men have known for years: that the workplace is monotonous and boring and hard.

And so along comes all this domestic nonsense, which women are grasping with both hands as a way to get off the treadmill. We will forever moan about not being happy and we will endlessly rearrange the boardroom and the kitchen, trying to find something that doesn't really exist." :eek:

If you are a SAHM I'd advise sitting down before reading the whole thing and bear in mind that this is written by a woman with no kids and a massive passion for "me time" :rolleyes:

It will make your blood boil. :mad:

OP, you don't have to justify yourself to anyone. If you throw your heart and soul into keeping your home and family well, then you are doing a full time job.

Well you were right to tell us to sit down. I'm shaking with anger after reading this womans dribble. :mad:

She mentions her nephews and nieces turn their noses up at homemade food... well its not like that in my household, my kids are so appreciative that I take the time to make nice foods for them. They feel sorry for their friends who have to eat takeaways and ready meals!

She is such a hypocrite. She has a go at us SAHM even though she doesnt have children, then in another column she says how much she didnt like PE at school and that women punish themselves for not being skinny. She ends the column by hitting out at celebs by saying "
We need to expose the Victoria Beckhams and the Kate Mosses, who have never lifted anything heavier than a champagne flute in their lives, for the woolly-headed morons they really are before we start building swimming pools"

So, Victoria and Kate are woolly-headed morons for daring to be thin without spending hours a day in the gym. However she is allowed to write utter rubbish about how easy our life is being a full time mum... even though she has no experience of our 'job'

I feel I have to write to this newspaper and ask them to get real stories from people who know a little bit more about this subject.... us lot! :mad:

tattycath

She mentions her nephews and nieces turn their noses up at homemade food... well its not like that in my household, my kids are so appreciative that I take the time to make nice foods for them. They feel sorry for their friends who have to eat takeaways and ready meals! (quote Angelina M)
I agree with you, my kids love home cooking and feel sorry for their friends who have takeaways 3 or 4 times a week. My kids like to be involved with the cooking too and often help me to cook meals because they like to know what they are eating, and they like to eat healthily. And Yes this woman (lizjones) writes absolute cr*p!!!!! She ought to try working for a living and/or bringing up some children coz she's seriously missing out, she isn't even giving us her informed opinion, it can't be informed if she has no personal experience of it!!! (if she did decide to have kids I'd be tempted to feel sorry for them in advance coz it'll be a steep learning curve for her!!!!!

Dazi

Dang lost me post, gist of it was
Was SAHM before me kids went to school.. then went out to work because I wanted to, now 1 divorce down the line have to work because we need the money…. God how I would love not to work, soooooooooooo fed up with the office politics and the all the other stuff that goes with my job. Would love to stay at home again nice clean house- how I would like that instead of swipe and make do lol

Saying that if I stayed at home and people asked what I did I would just say I don’t work because I don’t want to. Then maybe ask them why they DID work.

Another point on this thread was talking about children and HM meals, my SD who is with us most weekends cannot understand the concept of HM I made a lasagne and she said, do you know you can buy them at Morrisons! Her mum does not do HM even though she doesn’t work. Her excuse is that SD has diabetes and she needs to count the carbs and ready meals have it on the packet. I have devised a spreadsheet so I can input ingredients and as long as I can find out how many carbs per 100g am ok, have put formula to work it out. Easy to find out the figure….bag of flour tells you and if not sure Mr google is a wonderful man lol Have offered said spreadsheet to her mum – offer not taken up.

So end of day, it up to individual if they want/need to work I would never think bad of anyone choosing either of the options and once chosen you should not have to justify your decision,

Dazi xxxxxxxxxx

Yategirl

Dazi wrote: »

Saying that if I stayed at home and people asked what I did I would just say I don’t work because I don’t want to. Then maybe ask them why they DID work.

is it a case of you "don't want to work" or is it a case that you want to "work in the home"??

I am happy to work and I work very hard AT home - my work is looking after my children, my husband, my animals, my house and my garden. I am not saying that my children/hubby don't do anything in the house/garden but that I as the "home-maker" does the majority of the work - my children help tidy up their toys, feed the animals etc (they are only 3 and 6!) and my hubby helps with whatever needs doing when he gets home from work.

If people do ask what I do and I say I am a mum/housewife then the response I usually get is "lucky you!" Now..... are they genuinely jealous because they want to be a sahm/sahhw OR do they think I am sat on my bum all day watching tv?!

bellaquidsin

Anyone who thinks we stay at home housewifes 'sit on our bum all day watching tv' has obviously never heard of the MSE Old Style Money Saving Forum and doesn't know just how long it takes to read all the interesting threads.:rotfl:

Bella

FrankieM

I personally don't care what people think,...but if asked I proudly say I'm a kept woman.
Oh and my OH says I sit at home watching dat time tellie and eating toffee bon bons.
I think we care too much what others may or may not think or say.
All my children are at school now, the youngest is 9. My house is not imaculate, I don't do DIY or all the gardening either.
I quite enjoy having time to myself, reading, going on line and generally pottering about. I;m certainly not a Domestic Goddess!!!

I like the idea of telling people that I do nothing all day and I love it!!!

Triggles

I went back to work fulltime when DS was 7 months old and have regretted it ever since. When we move in a few months, I will be staying at home with DS and no longer working outside the home. DH & I discussed it at length and decided that while it will mean money will be a bit tight, we felt it was important for one of us to be home with DS until he is in fulltime school. Then we'll reevaluate the situation. It will make it much easier to be frugal with me at home, as I'll have time to make meals up and freeze them, as well as doing more baking, and eventually do some gardening. And it certainly is less stress as we're not juggling work schedules and child care schedules, which has been a real headache.

I can't say I truly care what others say about it. It's what is best for us, and that's really all that matters. I guess when the time comes, if someone asks me what I do I may get snotty and say "Why do you need to know?" People that define themselves completely by their jobs and then look down their noses at those who don't work (for whatever reason) irritate me anyway.

I have to say that I haven't read the Liz Jones stuff before but as this particular part of the piece really irritated me, I don't plan on reading her articles anymore. What a piece of work she is!

Do we really want to return to a world where men held our future in their hands? Are women "happiest of all" when they give up work to raise children?
I would never place my financial security in the hands of a husband. If I were a man, I would be very angry indeed if my driven, highly educated mate suddenly announced she was going to stay at home. I am not saying the "have it all" culture didn't have its huge drawbacks but surely children whose mums make them the centre of the universe, and whose fathers are given no option other than to work until they drop dead from a heart attack, will grow up resentful and miserable and hopelessly maladjusted.

Lotus-eater

As a male am I allowed to put my side
From experience, if someone stays at home you can run your lives much better and cheaper. I'm not saying its right for everyone, but if it works for you, then do it.
Me and the Mrs, we have weird work and we both have stints at home looking after the kids and being a housewife people say "well never mind you're doing a good job and lots of men do it " :rotfl: when I tell them what I've been doing. Like I care what they think. Lots of laughs when I go supermarket shopping with kids, or go for a walk in the park in the middle of the day.
Tbh though, to get back to work and leave it all behind is a great relief and a rest, OK so I have to worry about losing thousands of pounds on a job instead of 20p on a pack of mince, but somehow the pressure seems less

I couldn't do it all the time, but I enjoy the kids when I do do it. If you like doing it (and your family will definitely IMHO have a better life and diet) then do it and enjoy it.

ps, I enjoy the cooking as well, love my food and the family get to benefit from my brilliant ability to make something out of whatever we have lying around. In fact I'm alot better at budgeting for food than the OH and we get better beer when I do the shopping

shelovestobuystuff

I am a SAHM too:D .
When my eldest was growing up I worked,low paid jobs,at one crazy point I had three part time jobs at the same time as doing a part time college course.It was horrible,the money wasnt that great(the more you earn the more things seem to cost you) and DS felt neglected.It was difficult to organise a job and childcare,I relied on grannies alot, and I very often had to leave a job at the start of the summer hols and look for a new one in time for the next school term.The only good thing was that the house was always spotless, but that was because there was never anyone there!
So this time round with DD I knew I didnt want to go back out to work.I did feel very pressured into working though and I tried to see how I would be able to do it financially.Bottom line was that it would cost me more in childcare than I could earn so I was very glad that I couldnt do it.
People always tried to pressure me into it though:mad: .The moment DD was due to start nursery I got comments like,"you can find yourself a little p/t job now".When she started school f/t they(family and friends)started saying,"you'll be glad to get back to work now then".
Erhmmm?No actually I would reply to stunned looks:p .
Hubby still naggs me terribly to go out to work to earn money now DD is at school too but I would still have to organise childcare etc and I would basically be working to pay the chilcare.He earns just too much already for us to get help with the costs via tax credits.
As a result mainly of wanting to shut hubby up I started my own little business online.Now I am a SAHM and a business woman:cool: .Its time consuming but I wouldnt have it any other way now.I make very little money at the moment,I cover the cost of xmas and birthdays on my own and sometimes can pay the odd bill too.Thats good enough for me:D .
I wish everyone would stop nagging me though.Even my DD who is 6 said to me last week,"when are you going to get a real job mummy?".Wonder where she heard that from???