Pregnancy

pollyanna24

destiny_star2006 wrote: »

Why would a good doctor send your partner out????
They never did with my partner and i would have thought it quite rude if he did!
And i regard my doctor as i very good doctor!!!

I was planning on going to some of the visits by myself. Surely he doesn't need to come to any except the antenatal lessons (if these exist) and the birth?

Nicki

pollyanna24 wrote: »

I was planning on going to some of the visits by myself. Surely he doesn't need to come to any except the antenatal lessons (if these exist) and the birth?

It's up to you. Mt DH came to all mine for both kids, and loved hearing the baby's heartbeat and being reassured that all was well. We never had bad news, because we didn't choose to have any screening tests, but had there been anything to indicate that all was not well, I probably would have appreciated him being there when I found out. And he wouldn't have wanted to miss the scans. Other men (or women for that matter) might think that the whole ante-natal thing is women's business. It's each to their own really.

destiny_star2006

pollyanna24 wrote: »

I was planning on going to some of the visits by myself. Surely he doesn't need to come to any except the antenatal lessons (if these exist) and the birth?

You dont have to answer but what is so bad about your partner being included in the birth appointments etc surely its his right!
My partner doesnt come to midwife appointments tbh because he doesnt want to use up all his holidays etc as he has to put in holiday to come to any appoint wheter it being scan or antenatal!
Are you hiding a secret from your partner if so you go by yourself {if you can be sure lying to him is a good idea} and tell the doctor what exactly is your problem and what you dont want disclosing to your partner that way everything your worried about will be hidden:beer:

pollyanna24

Nicki wrote: »

It's up to you. Mt DH came to all mine for both kids, and loved hearing the baby's heartbeat and being reassured that all was well. We never had bad news, because we didn't choose to have any screening tests, but had there been anything to indicate that all was not well, I probably would have appreciated him being there when I found out. And he wouldn't have wanted to miss the scans. Other men (or women for that matter) might think that the whole ante-natal thing is women's business. It's each to their own really.

Thanks a lot for that. He will probably come to the scans and such like. He will probably try and come to the first midwife thing, but I'll just try and put him off.

chelseablue

pollyanna24 wrote: »

Thanks a lot for that. He will probably come to the scans and such like. He will probably try and come to the first midwife thing, but I'll just try and put him off.

Sorry if I've missed something but why would you want to put him off?

He may insist on coming to everything to feel involved/support you, my cousin insisted on going to EVERYTHING (for both his kids!)

daphne_descends

What planet are some of you on - 'insisting' on going with Pollyanna - I think she has a choice! Her OH has no bloody rights to attend midwife appointments unless she wants him there. Why does the world assume you lose your identity and become public property when you are pregnant. A booking in appointment is about the WOMAN who is pregnant, and her health. It's no one elses business really. And, I'd think, actually quite boring for a partner to attend - lots of form filling, blood pressure, weight check, nothing exciting anyway.

Pollyanna just make your wishes VERY clear to your midwife. My pregnancy notes had a page that was dedicated to the details of previous pregnancies so talk this through. I've PM'd you about somewhere you can talk anonymously if you want to.

TAG

Well said fac73. I second everything in your post.

tsstss7

pollyanna24 wrote: »

At what point do you get asked if you have had any previous pregnancies, abortions, miscarriages etc?

Is it a recurring question throughout your pregnancy or is it just the once?

had my boy in nov 07 and the appts I remember are

1. drs to confirm preggers
2. midwife booking in appt - where they take history etc
3. dating scan -at approx 12wks - blood test for downs
4. second bloods - and midwif appt together before 20 weeks
5. 20 week anomoly scan

and from then on not again until 30 weeks and then every month.

they didn't go on about my past at all but my psartner didn't come to most of the appts anyway - he had to work. It quite normal for them not to and esp not for midwife appts as they don't do much really it's just a monitoring exercise. My partner didn't come to my booking in appt and to hbe honest I wouldn't have expected him to either it was hard enough for me to keep taking time off wk - esp before I had told my employers.



5.

inkie

A booking in appointment is about the WOMAN who is pregnant, and her health. It's no one elses business really. And, I'd think, actually quite boring for a partner to attend - lots of form filling, blood pressure, weight check, nothing exciting anyway.

But please bear in mind that there is information that we need to know about from both the mother and the father family history - any genetic conditions/multiple pregnancies etc...

When us midwives conduct booking appointments we ask about previous pregnancies - whether these be livebirths, stillbirths, abortions, miscarriages.
When do a vaginal examination we can tell if someone has been pregnant previously.
Hope that this information helps.

It probably depends on your doctor, and also your risk factors, but when I had mine, it tended to be:

none in the first 3 months (except one to confirm the pregnancy)

then once a month up to the last 2 months

then once a fortnight up to about 38 weeks

then once a week til baby made its appearance

This is the traditional pattern of attendace - you will be hard presssed to find a maternity service that adheres to this pattern - things are much more flexible and reseach -based now.

belfastgirl23

Your DP could always go along with you for moral support but not come in to the surgery etc - I think this is common enough...esp if you have to have a physical exam, I know DH would be purple with embarassment if there was any kind of exam that involved taking off underwear and I wouldn't really be thrilled myself.

Good luck!