Toddlers and fussy eating (merged)

liney

Do you both have a spoon at meal times? Mine would let me help as long as he had one too.

Pink_butterfly_3

With my dd, the more attention she got for playing up at mealtimes, the worse she got. In the end i got so fed up of fighting with her, i just gave up. I just took the food away when she'd 'finished' and that was the end of that.

As another poster said, they won't starve themselves. They'll eat when hungry.

Don't shoot me for this, but i find that if shes being especially destractable, i can turn the TV on, put Playhouse Disney on and it keeps her quiet enough for me to shovel a few spoofuls into her.

It IS just a phase though and it finishes as quickly as it begins. Just try not to get stressed and let him eat what he wants. I took to just putting a towel under dd's highchair, feeding her in her nappy and letting her get on with it.

xxxxx

Lillibet_2

Thanks everyone, it's so hard when you want to murder the little darlings!

To respond in order :

Lola : I fear yogurt would be a total no-go! He only really likes plain yogurt (not much of a sweet tooth so I'm not encouraging it), I can't see how any of it would end up in his mouth. I will watch for him developing with feeding himself & re-introduce it as soon as I think he might be able to manouver it anyway possible into his mouth!

LtS : Thanks, it does help to know I'm not alone & it's normal, have almost stopped crying now! I am still convinced, however, that he isn't eating enough. He is gulping down his milk & extra milk and, even taking the hot weather into account, I am sure it is because he is hungary. I am letting him have the extra milk, at least he is getting some nourishment into him & I am assuming that food will become interesting to him at some point. In the mean time I will look out for the book...I feel a trip to the library comming on!

Liney : Yep, we both have a spoon, it worked fine when I was spoon feeding him but now it's of no interest whatsoever.

Pink Butterfly : I do agree, I think it is partly for attention, when he gets unbareable I turn his highchair around for a minute, so that I am completely out of sight & this calms him down, until we try for the next mouthful. Afraid I often feed him with the TV on, it does work to some degree & to be honest I find feeding him incredibly long-winded & turgid sometimes so I use it to keep me sane!
I don't mind the mess on him, I keep a shower curtain under his highchair to catch the bits & the dog does a good clean-up job, it's when it's being smeared all over me or thrown at the walls & furniture I object to!
I have sometimes taken the food away, more out of giving up sooner rather than later than anything else, he just wakes up more/sooner in the night though!

I have just discovered that he has cut another tooth today but we have had no teething signs at all so I don't think that can be causing him too much grief. I woud probably be a lot better at dealing with it all if I wasn't so knackered!
My health visitor advised me to introduce a morning & afternoon snack a few weeks ago, I am not totally sure I agree with this as I don't agree with teaching him to snack in between meals but I have gone along with it & he LOVES ricecakes. Should I let him have more of these at snack time? More food at snack time? At least this would get some more food into him but surely this defeats the object of meal times?

Think the best way I can deal with it tonight is with a glass of wine & a bubble bath!

jolenejolene

I agree with the snacking bit absolutely. I'm sure that toddlers need a couple of small snacks throughout the day. They use lots of energy and only have little tums! When my daughter went through this fad (as other posters say - lots do) I used to leave a bowl in the lounge with a few healthy nibbles in it ( cut up fruit, tiny sandwiches,rice cakes, cereal bar, raisins etc). I used to just put it down, point it out once and leave it at that. I used to sit her in the highchair for her 3 meals, but leave her to feed herself what she wanted, and then rely on the snacks to make up what I felt she was missing. Also used to try and give minimal attention for 'non co-operation' at meal times. They can sense the worry of parents I'm sure!!!! I know you have heard all this before but be assured it will pass. If it were me, there is no way I would give milk at night (not meaning to sound harsh!!!). I am quite strict (and maybe obsessive about getting kids to sleep through as early as possible - Everything is worse when you are tired). It seems unlikely your Little One is waking due to hunger - we would all eat if awake, bored and offered grub! I'm sure only very small babies wake from hunger. Keep re-inforcing it and it will become a habit that will be hard to break. If your wee one is hungry, giving milk at night is making a vicious circle too. I would try and give nothing but resaaurance that you are there and if need be only water. As everyone else has said, kids won't starve. Hope that helps a bit - sorry if I sound bossy - I know how stressful it is.

Lola23

My boys are grown up now, but I remember...like yourself worrying they were not getting enough to eat when they were babes, but I think they are a bit more resilient than we think.
I know what you mean about the snack breaks in between meals, not sure either. Can he have pieces of banana? It has been a long time since I fed babes can't remember if suitable for his age.

x

Bennifred

I shouldn't worry too much about whether it's a mealtime or snacktime - don't forget his stomach is only small, so cannot be expected to hold enough to keep him going for hours and hours! Just make sure any snacks are relatively healthy - ricecakes are good, so are things like sticks of cheese, slices of apple, bits of banana, breadsticks..... I can appreciate that you're concerned about getting him into good eating habits, but your sanity is important too!:D

Pink_butterfly_3

Lillibet, i know how you feel! I'm 8 and a bit months pregnant with a 14 month old and i'm really struggling with her at the moment. Shes turned into such a little MADAM recently!!!!!

I must admit that i still give her a bottle in the middle of the day. I have always worried about how much she eats - shes so tiny, she still wears some 3-6 months clothes! My HV said it was unnecessary but it gives me peace of mind if she hasn't eaten much during the day. If she eats properly then she doesn't have it.

rainbowrisin

Hi, I had exactly the same thing with my daughter - something I found helped was to keep a food diary of exactly what she had eaten (one bite of apple / one spoonful of spag bol or whatever) - it used to reassure me that she was actually eating something, and often when I looked back over a week she'd eaten a reasonable amount, but tended to have "feast" and "famine" days..on a positive note, when I took her to HV, convinced I'd be done for starving her, she'd gained more than enough weight - HV said apparently a lot of small children can still gain weight eating virtually nothing. I also found that once I'd taken her I eased up and didn't care if she missed a meal or decorated the cat with it, so she eased up and started eating more.
I also used to put a spoon at the side of the bowl, but not make any attempt to get her to use it - if she wanted to eat jelly with her fingers then so be it. As time went on she worked out that more food could be shovelled in with a spoon, so tried it out and uses one fine now (and a knife and fork) (aged 2).
We did sit down for three meals a day, but I used to dole out cubes of cheese, breadsticks, bits of fruit and carrots from time to time during the day, and found she would have a little munch quite often, provided it was only a small amount and finger food.
As previous posters have said, lots of children don't eat much round about 12 months...my son, on the otherhand, is an absolute food monster, and eats more in one meal then my daughter used to in a day (he's 11 months now)
Good luck and hope that helps.

Alleycat

My little one (18 months today!!) does this now and again. It is usually around when she is teething and like you I don't often realise she has been until I spot a little tooth poking through the gum. She is also asserting her independence a lot which will mean that she doesn't always have a 'full' meal. They all go through phases of this sort of thing, but it will get better honestly!! I remember worrying so much when she refused to eat hardly anything for a couple of days. I just nursed her as often as I could to keep up her calorie intake and to stop her getting too hungry and unsettled.

I also agree that snacks are very important on a daily basis. Dd has been having snacks ever since she was weaned at 6 months. A variety of things like bananas, plums, cheese cubes/sticks, half a jam sandwich, yoghurt, icecream (perfect for this weather!), biscuits etc. She usually has a snack just before her morning nap and another one mid afternoon. She usually has pudding after lunch and dinner as well (fruit, yoghurt, small piece of cake). I don't expect her to eat every morsel on her plate either before she has pudding as I think they are far too young to be so tough and I don't believe in forcing food down them.

comping_cat

Do you eat at the same time as Spud? Maybe if you are eating the same as him at the same time, maybe it might encourage him to eat more? My DS was a nightmare with eating from about 13 months, the HV told me he was perfectly healthy, he wouldnt starve himself and would eat eventually, and she was right, hes now 9 and has hollow legs!!!!! I often used the tv as a distraction too, and often made a game of feeding (spoon being an aeroplane, train, the mouse coming so hide the food in his mouth!!!)