Toddlers and fussy eating (merged)

Savvy_Sue

jo_b wrote:

There is this thread about feeding two year olds:

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=46329

Yup, I think that's the one I was thinking about. Thanks Jo!

HappySad

telly-addict wrote:

HappySad, did you see House of Tiny Tearaways on BBC 3? They had some major eating problems there, purees at 2 1/2, spoon feeding at 5, a diet limited to chocolate buttons, milk and bread and butter at 5. Interestingly, it was the parental anxiety about eating that was what Dr Tanya focussed on. There was a lot of stress, anxious body language and negative messages going on. It is really easy to be stressed about food without even knowing it, and it gets picked up on by your child. I'm sure I was with my first daughter. I think the 'take it or leave it' attitude will be fine, if you are presenting healthy choices and some of it gets eaten, then that is great.

My 2 yo definitely went through a phase of hardly eating anything for lunch, but she would make up for it at teatime, or vice versa. I don't do sweets or chocolate so what she did have was healthy. I do believe in a snack time in the mid-morning and afternoon because low blood sugar can be a recipe for tantrums, but the snack would often just be some raisins or a plain biscuit.

She has changed now and is more interested at sitting at the table to eat, so she eats more, but not every meal time. Once they are in toddler mode so many things are a lot more interesting than sitting and eating!

good luck with it and try not to worry ( I know, one of the silliest things to say to a mum! I assume this is your first born? It is different with the second!)

Thanks telly-addict for your support. I am now trying not to force him to eat any food. What I have done for the pass two days is this. Offer him his lunch... where as usual he eats a very small amount. I then offer him his fruit.. where he eats the whole lot. I then offer him the mail part of the lunch again...he then sometimes eats a bit more if it. I then don't give him any snacks so that he gets really hungery for dinner time. And for the pass two days he has eating all his dinner.. YES all of it! :rotfl:

I am very supprised. I am trying hard not to be concerned about him having a small lunch.. and as you say in the earlier comments he will be getting enough food even though to me it seems like a little bit he is getting.

So if he continues like this (eating little lunch and eating all his dinner) I will be OK with this. It will not be pushing him to eat more of his lunch and just let him eat what he wants.

I have tried him with different foods like sandwiches and he does not eat much of that either.

So far so good. I hope that he continues to eat all his dinner... but if he doesn't I will try and try again not go get wound up about it.

HappySad

carpool72 wrote:

My friends little boy has been very similar from about 20 months - could only be relied on to eat fruit and maybe yoghurt / cheese sandwiches if she was lucky. She did get a bit stressed but her HV was v reassuring and pointed out that at least fruit & cheese are healthy (if not entirely balanced) and he would grow out of it. Right enough, he's just turned 2 and is slowly but surely extending his menu. She says the best thing she did was not to make an issue of it, offer him whatever she was having (so it wasn't made especially to then be rejected - lol!) and use fruit and yoghurt as puddings so he ate at least something each meal.

My wee one's not half so bad, but even then swings from eating everything in sight to refusing everything she's offered, even things I know she likes - I've read that this is something they can control and so they do it every so often.

Thanks for the advice. :rolleyes: I will not make meal times a battle and give him the fruit after he has eating him main part of his meal. He sometimes eat the yogart but not always.

I suppose that I am lucky that is is fruit that he will definately eat. Some parents have to struggle with children that will only eat crisps, buscuit or chocolate.. which would drive me completely mad (being a healthy eater myself)

powie69

I can totally relate to your problem as my son is also 21 months old, and is also a nightmare when eating. I sometimes find that the following tips help.

Try letting your child feed you, and on the odd occasion you can get some food in their mouth as well! I've also given my son dry cereal and sultanas in my plastic measuring jug (he will eat shreddies and cornflakes this way). If you also find that your child will not wear a bib but gets food all over the place, try putting an old adult size t-shirt over the top of their own clothes.

Good Luck

Powie69

telly-addict

My 2 yo is more interested in taking sandwiches apart than eating them too!

Also, she hasn't worn a bib since she was a year old (I can't remember exactly, but it was a long time ago!) She spent most of the time just pulling it off from round her neck and it wasn't worth the hassle. Fortunately she isn't too messy an eater!

Glad that things are improving HappySad and that you are finding it easier to 'let it go' - one of the hardest things as a mum I think (especially if you have no out of home distractions like work) is to not get too engrossed in every thing your child does. Eating 'problems' (as we perceive them) can get out of all proportion as we are so concerned that the child eats the 'right' things, in the 'right' amounts.....

My 4yo loves fruit and veg too and will not eat meat and is very reluctant to eat new foods. She eats very healthily but from a limited range, she does share her mum's liking for cake though!

gravitytolls

We also put food on serving plates in the middle of the table, and we all help ourselves to what we want. Generally, all the children have a little of everything, because everybody else is.

They then give it a whirl, because they've helped themselves to it.

It can be somewhat messy, but a wipe clean tablecloth will prevent too many disasters.

My 3 yr old has been helping himself since about 2ish, but until he was able to have a go, with help, we put the food on his plate, after letting him 'choose'.

Also, once they're a alittle bit older, helping kids cook, by stirring or adding ingredients, is a great way of encouraging eating, as they can say they've cooked dinner. Obviously if they've cooked it, it must be yummy.

Again, prepare for a bit of mess though. In fact, it's just as well to let 'em get grubbed up, then they can go straight in the bath afterwards.

HappySad

I am still working on getting my son to eat his food. This lunch time I let him eat the pasta with his hands while I feed him the quiche and blended veg (he will only eat his veg blended) with a spoon.

He is definately choosing what he want to eat and not eat. When I offer him food he will have a look at it to see what I am offering him on the spoon and then decide whether to open his mouth or not.

I have tried offering him his apple slices (he loves apples) then while he is eating this I offer him spoons of his main meal. This has worked a few times.

MonkeyGirl

I'm not a parent but I have looked after toddlers and babies in the past. Can I just ask does your son do more activity in the afternoon? For instance does he maybe play a lot harder in the afternooon? Also does he seem to eat his breakfast?

I found one of the children I looked after would be a fussy eater yet they ate most of thier breakfast and most of their dinner / tea. Before his bedtime I always used to play hard with him so it tired him out enough for bed. I found that after his nights sleep he woke up really bouncey and happy but fairley hungry so that was good.

In the morning we wouldn't really do much hard playing more relaxing things like colouring and sometimes just a snuggle on the sofa while watching Thomas or something. Lunchtime he wouldnt really eat anything but like your son would always eat the fruit after.

In the afternoon after lunch we used to do things like go to the park and on the swings or run around etc then he would come home and have nap.In the evening he would then eat his main meal and a pudding sometimes. Again after dinner I used to do things like hide and seek to tire him out for bed I would then bath him and put him to bed and he slept right through.

As I say we found this technique worked for us so in the end we did play time in the morning as well and found that he started eating more and more lunch. I didn't alter any of the portions I was giving him I did alternate between using spoons and things and fingers though.

Not sure if this will work as all children are different but it may be something you are do sub concously I know it was for me and it wasn't until I sat down one night and wrote out what we had done for that day and the day before and noticed the pattern imerge.

Sorry for my poor spelling in this post I do have difficulty with spelling .

MonkeyGirl

HappySad

Thanks MonkyGirl for your post.

I usually go to toddler group in th morning and he would sometimes run around, but not always. Now come to think of it my son does not have a lot of oppertunity to run about in the week. I will from now one arrange his routine so that he gets to run about.

When he does not eat his lunch he would sometimes eat his dinner. But yesterday he did not eat his quiche or veg for lunch or dinner. He only ate the pasta, fruit and yogart all day.

Today for lunch he had curry lentils+prawns with rice and veg. He ate that with no problem. So I will see what he does later today for dinner.

I am going to.... like youself MonkeyGirl write down when & what he eats. I can then look at the data and see if there is a pattern. I think that his taste has just changed.. he just does not like all the food that a month or two ago he ate with no problem.

Yesterday he refused the veg&quiche (as I said earlier) but I offered him tuna mayonase (spelling) with sweatcorn from my lunch. He ate that no problem!

telly-addict

HappySad wrote:

Thanks MonkyGirl for your post.

I usually go to toddler group in th morning and he would sometimes run around, but not always. Now come to think of it my son does not have a lot of oppertunity to run about in the week. I will from now one arrange his routine so that he gets to run about.

When he does not eat his lunch he would sometimes eat his dinner. But yesterday he did not eat his quiche or veg for lunch or dinner. He only ate the pasta, fruit and yogart all day.

Today for lunch he had curry lentils+prawns with rice and veg. He ate that with no problem. So I will see what he does later today for dinner.

I am going to.... like youself MonkeyGirl write down when & what he eats. I can then look at the data and see if there is a pattern. I think that his taste has just changed.. he just does not like all the food that a month or two ago he ate with no problem.

Yesterday he refused the veg&quiche (as I said earlier) but I offered him tuna mayonase (spelling) with sweatcorn from my lunch. He ate that no problem!

I would jumping up and down with joy if my 4 yo ate curried lentils and prawns or even tried it! Or that she had eaten quiche before. You should be proud that he eating 'adult' food at such a young age. It sounds like you are doing a great job there, don't be too hard on yourself. He's allowed not to like certain foods and his palate may be getting a bit more particular. Or he is just using his toddler ability to exercise his free will! Frustrating but totally normal. My 2 yo is always more interested in what is on our plates too!