Toddlers and fussy eating (merged)

Yoga_Girl

Try to stay as relaxed as possible at meal times, children sense our anxieties a mile off and seem to do everything within their powers to make us more anxious!

How about trying to make meal-times more unusual/fun for a while to get him out of the idea that meals mean pureed food and you feeding him? For example have a picnic (inside of course if its cold), get a little rug out and sit all his teddies round the rug, get some bright coloured plates and then have a box/basket with a selection of finger food. Some for you, him and teddy! Give loads of praise if he attempts to feed himself and just ignore him if he refuses to feed himself.

You could gradually make the Sunday roast more "lumpy" each week so that he gets used to having to chew his food, also serve it with some finger foods on the side (couple of sticks of steamed carrot).

Do you offer finger food if you're out and about? I usually carry a tupperware box with biscuits/crackers/raisins, then give them something to chew on when they're in the buggy. He can't demand that you feed him if you're pushing the buggy.

Sounds like he's got to get used to the texture of solid foods and learn how to feed and chew himself, and get used to the idea that he's got to do it himself from now on. Have a plan and stick to it, and good luck! Don't give in either! My 2 year old daughter is currently trying to insist that she'll only eat if she's sitting on someones knee, we gave in a few times and now we're having to take a hard line! Lots of wailing for a minute but she soon gets the idea that I'm not a high chair and tucks in quite happily.

fsdss

dear broke

I do this for a living and give advice on childrens health and behaviour.
your child is not eating because of a number of reasons including, drinking too much milk, and having a pandering mother.

sorry to sound too harsh but you need to be so in order to achieve a behaviour change.

first of all get rid of the bottle, a 2 year old does not need a bottle, he is using it for comfort, offer a drink of milk in a cup, a 2yr old only needs a pint of milk a day (1 sm fromage frais = 1/3 pt, Matchbox size of cheese 1/3pt) this daily allowance can be found from making custard, ice cream, milk on cereals etc. offer a drink of water or milk in an open cup during the day.

secondly stop pureeing his food, he is 2, by doing this you may be hindering his speech development as he has not learnt to chew and excersise his jaw muscles, offer him a plate of what you eat (minus salt) cut down to bite size pieces (he manages to put a bottle to his mouth, so putting food to his mouth will be no problem), to start with i wouldn't offer uncooked vegetables because of the risk of choking. SIT at the table with him having a family meal, lead by example. if he refuses to feed his self put his dinner in the bin and do not feed him until next mealtime, not even a snack, he will not starve himself even after a few days.

i would reinforce to him that you will be taking the bottle away from him on a specific day and it will be put in the bin, also he will be eating like a big boy at the table with mummy and daddy, so that he is prepared.

be firm and positive. you need to be focused and unswayed, there will be tantrums and tears and a feeling sorry for him but if you can be hard for a few days, trust me you will have conquered it within a week.

all children will try it on wether it be sleep problems, feeding or bad behaviour and it is usually down to an illness, move,or a life changing event which has prompted the change.

the feeding is not a problem, you have just missed the window of opportunity in weaning which occurs between 6 and 9 months of moving up a stage, but it should be quick to teach him. and i hope to see your post within the next 10 days with excellent results.

you can also contact your health visitor who will have a healthy eating leaflet for fussy eaters, and no doubt give you similar advice

hope this helps Roberta

BrokeBrokeBroke

Thanks for all the replies. He only has one bottle with his cuddle at bedtime and I must admit I will miss that!! I have decided that he will not have his bottle after this weekend, and I will tell him that. Also, as of yesterday he has been given small pieces of what we're having that I know ! he can eat himself. So far we're doing terribly but I have been strict and so far he's not showing any signs of being hungry!! We'll keep trying ...

Savvy_Sue

BrokeBrokeBroke wrote:

So far we're doing terribly but I have been strict and so far he's not showing any signs of being hungry!! We'll keep trying ...

Early days yet, don't give up, some children eat in spurts! My youngest will sometimes eat like a bird for a few days and then like a horse for the next few. Mind you I don't know how often he sneaks off to the biscuit tin ...

fsdss

well done for getting this far, i am glad you've decided to give up the bottle (excuse the pun) this weekend, and offering little titbits of food,you are doing great, you need to be more positive about what you are doing, and you ARE doing well.

he will have tantrums and demand the bottle or to be spoon fed but as long as you are prepared for it at the weekend, and dont give in to him you will have conquered it. the moment you give in to him you will have back tracked on everything you have achieved so far.

plus you'll still get your lovely cuddles at bedtime if you also change the bedtime routine and read a book when it should be bottle time.

roberta

KK

My daughter was very lazy about feeding herself until she was 1.5 years - but having seen the mess her friends got into I wasn't that bothered. She happily ate finger foods and liked most things. My watershed moment was when she went to nursery 1 day a week and they all sat down and ate together, within a couple of weeks of social eating with other children, she wanted to feed herself and because she'd waited a while she had great hand-eye coordination and hasn't really been messy since. Does your son eat with other children? My little girl wasn't allowed snacks between meals and wasn't allowed to help herself to food (she's now unfortunately tall enough to open the fridge and help herself which drives me crazy!) at all, so I controlled what she ate. Biscuits and sweets were real treats. Of course now she's at school I have different battles but she does have school lunches and tells me that she eats it all up.

Did you see Little Angels on BBC1 at 7pm last ngiht about twin 3 year old girls who were fussy eaters - it was quite interesting. Goodluck and keep trying.

Why not get your son to choose a new drinking cup with you for night time 'a big boys' cup and give the bottle to a new baby? Metaphorically speaking. This worked with my little one. Or you could try watering the milk down so it becomes more and more like water. Milk especially full fat certainly fills them up. Have you tried making ice lollies with fruit and yoghurt? There are some great recipes on one of the posts here.

Maddy_W

Just read through the thread and it brings back so many memories. My son, now 5, was very similar, he had pyloric stenosis at 6 weeks (a blockage in the lower intestine) and was projectile vomiting. Going through anything like this makes you paranoid about their nutrition and I must say I panicked and worried my way through his first three years, I would do anything just to get him to eat. No matter what everyone else said about leaving him to it it was very hard to deal with on the 'front line' . But he is healthy and well proportioned even though he lived on a very simple diet to start with, we tried all sorts and stuck to those he liked. The picnic idea is a great one and really works.

Keep up the good work and you will all come through it, my son hates cutlery, and as my Dad once said ' we had fingers before we had cutlery' the important thing is getting them to enjoy food and the eating experience - and hands are as easily washed as forks.

Keep your chin up and know you are definately not on your own in this.

BrokeBrokeBroke

The 'picnic' idea has worked a treat. He ate stwed beef, rice last night sat in the garden in his highchair and then had a yoghurt splattered all over him too! He is making a huge effort and I'm so proud of him already. (Not sure what's going to happen re: bedtime bottle, but even though I left it quite late to stop his daytime drinks in a bottle (milk or water) that only took 2 days approx of tantrums then he was fine with his big boy Noddy cup! He goes to Nursery 2 days a week and they will not feed the kids so for the first few weeks he was there he ate nothing but is now eating more and more. Even an ice lolly yesterday! so that was good! Thanks again everyone. Will keep you updated as to how the bottle free weekend goes. Thanks!

Spendless

My own faddy son has had a different nation theme this week at his infant school.

Amongst other activities they got the kids to try various foods. Son tried and now likes mango,avacado,passion fruit.

On his school dinner this week he tried carrots and now likes these also yet when I last served them he immediately put them on his dads plate claiming he didn't.

So the school has acheived in one week what I haven't managed in 5 years!!

Might be worth asking at your sons nursery about the different dfoods they might have there.

BrokeBrokeBroke

We have to send his lunch in for him!