Will query

strawb_shortcake

Thank you all, I do appreciate all the responses and your time, this; along with the time that has passed since Thursday has allowed me to be more reflective and it's been useful to have views of people not directly involved.

Thursday, I was incredibly cross with the situation that said sibling had put our parents in again, causing them much worry and stress that no parent needs especially when in ill health and believing their very much adult child was going to be imprisoned abroad.

I have realised the money is not the issue as such, it's that at some point in future I will be expected to bail them out, and as much as I can say no, I know the guilt of not helping them will weigh on me and I just wanted to know what options there may be to mitigate this.

I will add that previously my sibling had their wages paid into Mum's bank account due to their inability to manage money. When they moved abroad their savings again were held by my Mum and sent monthly all at their bequest. Now that money has run out they are pretty much dependent on my parents continuing to send a small amount of money to live off as they aren't formally working.

Part of my original question was that could a beneficiary's share be paid into an account which wasn't theirs (with their agreement) and this wasn't answered. I wouldn't be surprised if I was asked to do this if and when the time comes anyway based on how their money has been managed in the past, and may even be expected by them.

I now see I have two choices in the event of an inheritance

1. They ask me (or someone else) to help and I/they oblige (or don't)

2. They have their full share

And we both accept and acknowledge any situations they get themselves into is managed by them and their resources alone regardless of where they may sit.

lincroft1710

Perhaps a spell in one of the more notorious Asian prisons may bring sibling to their senses

When the time comes pay the money into sibling's bank account. If they don't have an A/C, they will have to open one and will not receive the money until they do. You may possibly be able to open an A/C for them

bobster2

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82066060#Comment_82066060

A beneficiary should receive their share - if they then want to do something with it, like give it to you to put into an account then that is up to them. But holding funds on their behalf (without a formal trust arrangement) is fraught with potential problems.

What if you die? With proper information your executor could consider the funds as money you owe to your sibling (an estate debt) but they could be inaccessible until probate is obtained. Your bank accounts would be frozen. How would your sibling live?

HMRC would consider the interest earned as your income - tax would need to be paid.

What if you need means tested benefits / social care - good luck persuading DWP or LA that the money is not yours.

What if your sibling claims means tested benefits / social care based on not having significant savings in their accounts? You're now complicit in something dodgy.

You will need to decide for yourself whether you are prepared to bail out your sibling in the future - if you decide that you are not willing to, then you can explain this to them, but they don't need to "accept" or "acknowledge" this in order to receive a distribution from the estate.

strawb_shortcake

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82066110#Comment_82066110

Agreed there's a lot to consider if I was to hold their money, tax on interest would be an issue and I'm close to being taxed at 40% and already receiving interest on savings. I'd have to amend my will to make sure remaining funds of where their money is held would be transferred to them.

My savings now would prevent me from claiming benefits as is. Theirs would be more complicated as they are non resident and I believe they'd have to wait anyway if they returned home.

The last part wasn't that them getting their share was dependent on accepting "my terms", it was more about me being upfront that I won't be bailing them out with my money, and they need to be accountable for their own actions. Obviously if they have funds in the UK then I wouldn't withhold it.

Sea_Shell

"me being upfront that I won't be bailing them out with my money, and they need to be accountable for their own actions."

This is the only thing you need to stick to.

When the time comes, you pass them their inheritance, that's it.

No bailouts...ever.

By all means offer "administrative" help, which they may decline, but draw the line at "financial" help.

bobster2

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82066139#Comment_82066139

You wrote "I'd have to amend my will to make sure remaining funds of where their money is held would be transferred to them"

Now you are getting really muddled about this. If your sibling has loaned you this money (which essentially they would be doing if you look after it informally) then you cannot distribute this money in your will. It is a debt that your estate would owe to your sibling. Just the same as if a bank had loaned you a load of cash. Your executor would need to pay the debt - but they would probably need probate to access the money so your sibling could be left for months / years without access to funds.

You could only give it to your sibling in your will if they had gifted it to you.

strawb_shortcake

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82066183#Comment_82066183

Well I'd obviously have to seek legal advice before recieving and amending anything if I had it in my account. My sibling being proactive in putting in place a loan agreement is never going to happen.

Emmia

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82066229#Comment_82066229

I think when your parents die, let the executors distribute the estate - if you are an executor distribute the estate as it is apportioned. .

Just give your sibling their share and nothing more. Don't try and advise them on trusts, annuities etc. if they ask you for money down the road, just say "no". You may not end up with any relationship, but that's life.

Annietott

You don’t agree with said siblings lifestyle, their spending habits or lack thereof, how they’ve treated parents, yada yadda yadda… Yet you are hellbent on assuming control of their pursestrings for rest of your life - in essence picking up where your parents left off.

Have your parents had a conversation with sibling re his share of their estate. Or are you streering the ship and attempting to control the outcome?

Newly_retired

I would be wanting to walk away from the relationship. Your parents have chosen to support your sibling and that is their choice but you do not need to feel it is your responsibility once they are no longer able to do so.