Will query

strawb_shortcake

Sorry for the vague title but not sure how to meaningfully title it otherwise

Parents are both well and living

Their will is spilt equally between 3 children

One child lives abroad, Terrible with money and fiscally irresponsible and will not do anything remotely admin wise.

When the time comes for the will to be distributed, can the irresponsible one have their money paid into a siblings account to be managed by them - with their agreement?

Concern is if he dies with say £80k in a foreign account (SE Asia) I don't know how we'd even be able to get that back as no will etc.

Any other options we can consider?

Thank you

Savvy_Sue

Sorry, but if a sibling dies abroad with no will, unless we're talking millions, wouldn't you just walk away? Especially if someone is terrible with money, is there likely to be much left?

For the alternative you suggest, you need advice, proper advice. If the money due to A is paid to B, how do you show it's A's money? What happens if A wants more than B wants to dole out? And so on.

strawb_shortcake

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82064354#Comment_82064354

No, it won't be millions, if and when we inherit it's likely to be around £100k each.

Firstly as much as they are a nuisance I'd want to try and help them live off the money as long as possible and if there is a way I can help them do this I will. If I or someone else can facilitate this with their permission then why wouldn't we be as sensible as possible.

Said sibling is hardly a picture health due to lifestyle choices but life expectancy of anyone is unknown, but if there was to be money left over when their time comes then it would always be preferred for this to come back to the family (say their nieces and nephews) whether that's £10k or £80k. Though ideally it would help him live a long and happy life abroad.

I fully understand it would be their money and to spend as they wish, it's not so much about control but budgeting - it wouldn't be the first time their money has been treated in this manner so I think they'd be receptive - I'd just like to be understand the art of the possible.

bobster2

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6675709/will-query

If your sibling genuinely has mental capacity issues - your parents could look at trust arrangements. However, if not then I think you need to just stay out of this. Bugging your sibling / parents about how you might retrieve money once your sibling dies could come across as quite unpleasant.

First of all - there is no such thing as "their" will for your parents. They each have a will - which could be mirror wills right now - but by the time the longest surviving parent eventually dies the landscape could be very different. Their will might be different at that point.

If at that time you still have concerns - you could OFFER to help your sibling manage their finances but if they decline then you would just need to distribute the funds and let them get on with whatever they want to do. If they have poor life expectancy due to a health condition then being "irresponsible" and spending it fast to enjoy things might be rational from their point of view.

ColinGala

It would be prudent for the sibling to make a will in the SE Asian country (if they have funds there) as well as a UK will

Emmia

I think your original post comes across as quite money grabbing and controlling especially as your parents and siblings are all still alive.

As and when your parents die, and you are lucky enough to inherit something, that money will be yours to do with as you wish - whether that's spending it on "sensible" home improvements... Or spending it less sensibly on fast cars and champagne.

Your sibling can also choose what to do with the money - if they want a bonfire of £20 notes that's entirely their call, and frankly none of your business.

Your sibling might also (on receiving their inheritance) decide to write a will (I wrote my first one after inheriting a chunk of cash, as I suddenly had something of value to leave) leaving it all the money to the local donkey sanctuary, or ... If you're very lucky you might get some.

Do you have a will? Do you leave anything to your siblings? If you do, then do so without trying to control the money after you're gone.

SiliconChip

" I spent a lot of money on booze, birds & fast cars, the rest I just squandered" - George Best

if that's what your sibling wants to do with their money why should you try to interfere with that?

Reed_Richards

Is what you really want to persuade your parents to alter the terms of their will so the one third share due to your sibling in Asia is put into a trust fund for the benefit of your sibling but to be administered by you?

strawb_shortcake

I can get where people are coming from with my attitude, and I appreciate how I come across. But I did also say if and when - inheritance is never promised and no future life plans of mine is balanced on ever receiving an inheritance of any description.

This question arose due to an incident yesterday that saw my parents wipe out their current account (of several thousands of pounds) to help my sibling in very questionable circumstances.

Said sibling has lived their entire life on the edge of criminality, shortcuts, tax evasion, even their visa and existence abroad is not in accordance with any official guidance in the country they live.

Admittedly being bailed out by my parents numerous times has not been helpful.

Yes, it would be incredibly annoying if they died with £50k in the bank and it was lost to a foreign government. And I know my Dad especially would hate to see what he considers his had earned money to end up lost.

Them spending every single penny of any future inheritance I don't care, absolutely theirs to do what they want with.

What I do care about, is that when its all spent up, that I will be first port of call when things go wrong, when they've got into trouble again and wants bailing out. Whilst I can say no, and not give them a penny of my savings, I still want to sleep at night and not have the drama or guilt - but perhaps it may be better to just leave the will as is and cut them out completely - but easier said than done I suspect.

But if they had money here to dig them out of a hole then that would make my life easier.

Perhaps my question wasn't really about wills at all

strawb_shortcake

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82064672#Comment_82064672

Not so much I want to persuade them, but I know they'd be much happier knowing that they'll have long term financial provision, they cause my parents a huge amount of worry, and if I can make one thing less of a worry then why wouldn't I. And if a trust would support this and is suitable then great.

I don't really care who administers it, it's just I'm the sensible sibling and probably the only one in the family willing to do so.

Emmia

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82064710#Comment_82064710

I actually think you should be the last person to administer the trust for your sibling.

I think your attitude would be when they asked for money from the trust you'd give them the third degree on what it was for, and then if you decided it didn't align with what you think they should spend their money on, you'd refuse.

If you don't approve of their choices and choose not to bail them out then that's fine, but I don't think you should stand in the way of them having the money they inherit on the same basis as you.

Your parents hopefully see the inheritances they may leave as gifts to their children, gifts freely given can be used as the recipient likes... I think you need to step back and not involve yourself or even speak to your parents about treating your sibling differently to you.