Partner moving into my house - what is a fair contribution?

Albermarle

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82026681#Comment_82026681

Of course it is exploitative, but all sorts of exploitation happen to people who are vulnerable/ short of money. Nothing new about that.

From what I have read about these situations, a more usual scenario is that the lodger get their own room, but that the home owner gets a ‘nocturnal visit’ a couple of times a week, in return for reduced/ no rent .

Emmia

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82026703#Comment_82026703

You're quite fortunate in having not come across this sort of thing. I wouldn't say it is very common but I know of a few young women (colleagues) who have viewed rooms to rent and were surprised/horrified it was a one bed / bed share arrangement.

Grumpy_chap

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82026798#Comment_82026798

Yes, I am sorry if I have had too sheltered a life. I was aware of such arrangements and the types of sites where these listings may be found (openly) - I am sure there are other sites where the listings are more coded.

But that still doesn't mean that I was aware it was a common thing as seems to be suggested.

Ratkin007

"… doesn't feel right that I carry all the risk and responsibility and she pays nothing despite enjoying the benefits ……" "….. I also worry about … if i'm carrying 90-100% of the housing cost burden and she isn't"

It's your house and she has no stake in it so it is only right that you take full responsibility for the house and housing costs.

If she did not move in with you then you would still have full responsibility for the house, and all bills, groceries, etc, granted you would get a 25% discount on your council tax. Wear and tear, I imagine your 3 kids would cause more wear and tear in the property than your partner.

I would suggest she contributes to the bills.

As she is paying £300 currently I don't think she should be paying any more than that unless half of the bills is more than £300. She shouldn't be expected to pay more than half of the bills, because then she is paying part of your share. Some might even say half is too much considering you will have 3 children over at least a couple of nights a week.

I moved into my fella's house and he wouldn't take any money from me. He was paying the mortgage on his house. He said I should get the groceries, but then whenever we went shopping togeher he would pay. In the end I took his gas/electric bill and paid online because I didn't think it right I lived with him without contributing something.

onomatopoeia99

The house is yours, the mortgage is yours, she should not pay any part of it.

The buildings insurance is to insure your house, she should not pay any part of it.

It's your house so they should not pay to maintain or improve it.

AIUI if she is to have a room for her exclusive use she can be categorised as a lodger and you can charge her rent without the risk of building a beneficial interest.

A tenant paying rent would have a contract and guarantees about the process by which they can be forced to leave the property, a partner doesn't, they can come home to their belongings outside the front door and the locks changed so there is no equivalence.

Yes, they get a very good deal as a consequence. They could, however do things like pay for a nice annual holiday for you both. If things work out then after a few years you should look to buy together to resolve the inequity.

saajan_12

IMO she should pay 1/3 of the running costs of the house. OP + Kids are effectively 2 peoples worth (3 kids that are around on average 2.5 nights a week ie 36% of the time, ie 1 person full time).

Running costs = utilities + broadband + subscriptions + the mortgage interest.

Effectively OP doesn't have the full funds for a house, they're renting the use of that money from the bank. The cost of renting the money is the mortgage interest. This is unlike the capital repayment which is just moving money from OP's bank to OP's house equity, so should be all on OP.

Emmia

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82027696#Comment_82027696

I'd argue she should pay no part of the mortgage, which includes the value of the interest (which is part of the mortgage) if the OP doesn't want her to be able to claim equity (or to have to buy her out) if things go south.

missCG2014

I’ve looked at some of the answers here and not one person has mention the first thing to do is protect your home with a minute of agreement/ cohabitation agreement. If she’s there long enough and has contributed money or to any alterations/ large purchases etc. if in the event of a relationship breakdown, after a bit she’ll be entitled to a monetary amount / share which may get bigger the longer she’s there. Protect your rights / home / savings before you work out your utilities and shopping money/share of your everyday.

Smudgeismydog

I also think that a fair contribution is for her to pay half of the utilities and groceries. It is your house, you chose it to provide a home for you and your children, she was not party to that decision, and she will not benefit from any increase in the property value.
At some point in the future if you both decide to take your relationship forward, she could buy into the house, and then go on the mortgage and title deeds. However, in the event of the relationship not working, if she continues to save, she could still be in a position to buy a property on her own.

Emmia

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82027887#Comment_82027887

She shouldn't contribute to large purchases or alterations, that avoids a "buy out" situation where the OP has to repay her, but doesn't have the cash to do so.

But for clarity I agree it's worth formalising this with an agreement however unromantic.