Boss' comments - am I being over sensitive?

azjh77

I work in an office and have a new boss who is a bit...'touchy /feely' she wants to know everything. We also have another boss sat on the section who has favourites and don't we know it!

Anyway whenever there is a conversation in the office they always seem to come around to my family situation. 2 examples:

We have tins of biscuits in work - which no-one eats as they are all on diets - I helped myself to one the other day and the 'boss' asks why she has never seen me bring biscuits in, (didn't realise it was compulsory! these are ones people bring back from hol's and we don't go on holiday!) I told her I was on a budget and she said 'perhaps your husband should get a job'...rather cheeky I thought.

Then the other day I was talking to someone about when our internet packed in and how my OH was 'lost' without his computer ..'He could go out and get a job then' was the comment my boss made.

Some background...I work, my husband is at home with our 4 kids. What annoys me is that
a) no-one would suggest to a man that his wife get a job, if she were at home with young children..
b) by what stretch of the imagination is looking after 4 kids 'not working'!.

Am I being over sensitive? I just ignore these ignorant people who don't understand a non-conformist lifestyle but am I wrong to be offended by this?
I don't make comments about my boss dumping her baby in a nursery just so she can earn beer money - that is her business, but my family dynamnic is my business and she should keep her comments to herself!

melancholly

can't you just say in a joking tone something along the lines of (a) above?! then throw in a 'some pople would think you're very sexist' with a smile at the end?! i'd bring in biscuits just to make a point and then leave it. if the comments do become more frequent then keep a note of how often they're being made and who was was present at the time. if you make a huge deal of it, life will be very difficult for you in your job (completely unfair, but your boss is clearly not going to take it well!), so if you can get the point across, preferably with lots of other colleagues there, as a joke, it may avoid confrontation.

jamgirl

i'd probably get myself in trouble and say something along the lines of

'yes, he could get a job but then we would have to put our children in nursery/get a childminder (delete as appropriate) and have our children looked after by strangers, which is not something we approve of'

LilMissEmmylou

jamgirl wrote: »

i'd probably get myself in trouble and say something along the lines of

'yes, he could get a job but then we would have to put our children in nursery/get a childminder (delete as appropriate) and have our children looked after by strangers, which is not something we approve of'

lol yes i would actually go for something along the lines of that - perhaps not say its not something approve of - but suggesting her kids are looked after by strangers is bound to tick her off :rotfl:

and yes bloody cheeky making a comment like that to you re your husband being a stay at home dad! What business is it of hers if he does that?

Zoetoes

jamgirl wrote: »

i'd probably get myself in trouble and say something along the lines of

'yes, he could get a job but then we would have to put our children in nursery/get a childminder (delete as appropriate) and have our children looked after by strangers, which is not something we approve of'

Yes this is what I'd say, but don't come across as snotty as you don't want her to think her comments get to you, say it all innocently so she can't really pull you up on it, saying it as if you don't realize it's a dig will annoy her more.

vaio

And, as you seem to work in a petty biscuit counting office, it’s probably a good idea to stop eating biscuits unless you start bringing some in too

chmmy

OMG really shocked at your boss' comments. You know you are doing the right thing so just rise above it and ignore it. I also have 4 kids so I know how hard it can be just to get by sometimes. Id be so proud of your DH.

Zoetoes

Thinking about it, maybe she's miffed that she has to put her child in nursery because there's nobody to help or maybe her husband isn't very hands on or helpful. It may all be jealousy as you've got a good deal, career, kids, nice hubby & dad to the kids.

conradmum

I would say 'he does have a job and it's a darn sight harder that yours!'
I think she's being very rude.
However, this may make her hate you. Maybe 'he does have a job and it's a darn sight harder than mine' would be more diplomatic.

But do bring in some biscuits. People notice these things.

Zoetoes

vaio wrote: »

And, as you seem to work in a petty biscuit counting office, it’s probably a good idea to stop eating biscuits unless you start bringing some in too

Or you could just say you were intending to bring some in when all the others were almost gone.

You don't have to buy luxury ones, any will do.

vaio

zoeleigh wrote: »

Or you could just say you were intending to bring some in when all the others were almost gone.

You don't have to buy luxury ones, any will do.

No, no, no.......in a petty office you have to actually bring them and they have to be the same standard as the previous ones