Trying to sort out the Miss/Mrs/Ms conundrum.

Cubicsrube

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81997352#Comment_81997352

In a similar case: Woman married but did not take husband's name. Husband's grandmother sent a cheque for wife's birthday made out to Mrs [first name + husband's surname] which the wife took to deposit along with marriage license, proof of ID etc but wasn't able to. Reminded the grandmother that wife had kept her own name but grandmother just kept sending the cheques to a fictitious person every year. Totally a deliberate burn.

This type of attitude no doubt why many women choose not to change their name…

Cubicsrube

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81997508#Comment_81997508

Wow, unbelievable!

Jemma01

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82001085#Comment_82001085

Love me some petty grandma 😆😆

middlewife

My 90 year old uncle always addresses my birthday card to Mrs (husbands first name) married surname. A closet gay man for many years, I have tried unsuccessfully to persuade him to have a civil partnership with his 75 year old toy boy. He refuses on the grounds that " marriage is between a man and a woman", due to his religious beliefs, this despite the fact that some churches treated him very badly.

My MILs mother called herself Mrs, wore a wedding ring and is described as a widow on her death certificate. She never married, fortunately for her, Coventry public records office was destroyed in WW2, so she was never required or able to provide a marriage certificate, although most people knew that she was a single mum, they chose to ignore it. My MIL was bullied throughout school but could dish out a mean right hook.

Imo, titles are hopefully on their way out. Hopefully along with the British obsession of asking anyone you meet " and what do/did you do?" Which is really just a cover for working out where they fit on the social class ladder. " What do you like to do?" Would be a much more interesting question...

onomatopoeia99

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82001085#Comment_82001085

My brother and sister-in-law have been married nearly 20 years and never had a joint account, so when they got cheques addressed to "Mr & Mrs (his surname)" they couldn't pay them in so gave them to our parents!

Meanwhile I've made various attempts to entirely remove any kind of title from my records at institutions and done spectacularly badly. Bank asked me for proof of my change of title, which I obviously could not provide, I just didn't want them to use one at all. My driving licence is a short-term medical one so I'm going to have another go at that when it comes round for renewal. I consider myself <firstname> <surname> and wish to be addressed as such, not Mr <firstname> <surname>. The title is irrelevant to anything in my mind.

I suppose I could get an online ordination from the Universal Life Church Monastry (they seem to accept atheists) and become a Rev.

Worried_fool

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82001020#Comment_82001020

To be precise, a qualified medical doctor holds a professional doctorate (not a PhD, but obviously something that requires significantly more study than a bachelors degree). In fact, a medical bachelors degree is a milestone in their training, but a long way from qualification.

A newly qualified medical doctor will have every right to use the title Dr. If they ascend the career ladder and become a surgeon or equivalent, their title then changes, traditionally back to Mr. It can thus happen that when a medical student is together with a group of junior doctors, the student (with the title Mr) gets mistaken for the most senior person present!

Any dentist you are likely to meet professionally is a dental surgeon, and so is the equivalent of a hospital surgeon rather than a junior doctor, which is why the title Dr. is not appropriate for this role. Of course, all this is confusing for patients and some dentists have reverted to the title Dr, although doing so is misleading since it understates their level of seniority.

MyRealNameToo

Generally you can use whatever title you want as long as you dont try to obtain financial benefit from the title if you are not entitled to use it.

There is a lot of history in titles, like doctors care called Drs despite the fact they dont have a doctorate, similarly in the UK surgeons revert to the title of Mr/Mrs/Ms because traditionally barber surgeons did the messy work of surgery which a learned doctor wouldnt want to do. I've seen the later cause a lot of confusion in private practice with people from the US etc that think Mr Smith isnt a doctor so why are they seeing him. Personally my consultant until recently was Prof as a person with a strong academic connection and Prof being higher than Dr.

Generally Miss is unmarried, Mrs is married, Ms is independent of marital status but most often used by divorced or those with no intent of marrying or companies that have introduced titles without capturing people's preference/marital status. Mx is used by those that dont want to specify either their gender or marital status though more commonly assumed by those who feel the standard binary options dont really apply to them.

Call yourself whatever you want, as long as you dont try and get benefit by misrepresenting yourself its ok but companies can choose to ask you to validate it, particularly if its a change of name. Personally I'm Baron MyRealNameToo with one firm because they had 100+ different titles to chose from in a drop down and I got bored scrolling through them when I got to the Bs - they had UK and non-UK titles in the list.

flaneurs_lobster

Personally I'm Baron MyRealNameToo with one firm because they had 100+ different titles to chose from in a drop down and I got bored scrolling through them when I got to the Bs - they had UK and non-UK titles in the list.

Similarly, I'm Rear-Admiral Lobster on a US magazine subscription. Interesting that those ddlb's of titles get longer the posher the organisation you are signing up for.

What ever happened to 'Esq', used post nominally for a (adult?) male when no pre-nominal honorific is applied?

Presumably used to stop a chap suffering the indignity of being mistaken for a woman? Got a cheque book somewhere that has used this.

tooldle

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82002807#Comment_82002807

Ermh , I work in a medical school. Medically qualified doctors are bachelors of medicine and surgery. A professional doctorate is a doctoral level research degree, several steps up from a bachelors degree.. I’m in the UK

Jemma01

I always find it amusing when ppl argue over "this dr is higher qualified than this dr". At the end of the day it is the same title, given by academia to both groups viewing both as being equivalent, one in doing the research, and the other in applying it in practice.