Coffee conundrum

itsthelittlethings

I was a bit like this but changed to take coffee in a flask and now rarely get a coffee out. You could encourage him to get interested in making a posh coffee at home in a cafetiere or filter and buy nice ground coffee. This is still a little more expensive but not as bad as takeout coffee.

QrizB

To get back to the original question, Contigo coffee cups are the best in my opinion.

I've got a Contigo snapseal mug and agree it's great for coffee on the go.

https://amzn.eu/d/0eEj0i74

However I also agree that this might not be really about coffee, it's potentially more about an unexpectedly-retired guy trying to find his place in the world.

Jemma01

Agree a personal monthly budget with him so he's not wasting your money, if he runs out of money, what does he think will happen? Run to you for help?

Sorry I'm not a coffee person nor do I care to buy drinks when I'm out and about.

middlewife

Thank you all for the suggestions. We are having a finance review next week when we're away, he keeps a detailed double entry spreadsheet each month with all spending categorised on a coloured pie chart spreadsheet, but leaves the planning to me. He has struggled but 6 months down the line, things will have to change. It doesn't help that we live in a fairly affluent area and the "norm" is to buy coffee, eat out, etc.

He worked from home during the pandemic and bought the coffee machine after a previous redundancy so he could drink decent coffee and " wouldn't spend a fortune" , clearly all forgotten now! It's a tricky transition and I think being at home reminds him of work hence his "need" to be out and busy all the time.

I will look at the reusable cups, because when he's at the theatre for 4 hours, there's no reason for him to buy a coffee.

Wish me luck!!

bouicca21

I spend a lot on coffee out, though not anywhere near as much as OP is talking about. Mostly it’s when meeting up with friends, so I justify it as contributing to my mental well-being. At other times it is an excuse to find a space to relax and just chill on my own. I suspect for OP’s partner that second reason is what is at issue, not the coffee. It is hard to adjust to such a complete change in daily life and it sounds like he is struggling.

sheilavw

I have a stanley cup and often take it with me on a long walk. It keeps the coffee hot. I am a member of the Marks and Spencer premium club so I get 8 free coffees every quarter, and on my meerkat app with car insurance renewal a Greggs once a month, so generally this is my treat. If I meet a friend for coffee we take turns at paying (Starbucks yesterday morning) but I find I don't often need to spend 'cash' with using these

Marmaduke123

Does he drink the coffee from the bean to cup machine when he's at home? Maybe he prefers coffee from chain coffee shops but doesn't like to admit it.

Perhaps buy him one of the cups suggested and experiment with different beans in your home machine.

I love my bean to cup machine but I drink very strong espresso and never like coffee from chains.

PipneyJane

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81993642#Comment_81993642

i agree. I have used them for years. They have a button that you depress so that you can drink out of them - perfect for the car and no risk of spillage. Mine have done thousands of miles. Only problem is that you have to be careful to let the coffee cool before you put the lid on, or you risk burning your mouth.

@middlewife it seems to me that part of the problem is the social aspect of buying a coffee. Your DH has probably made friends with the baristas at the hospital and theatre, so would miss talking to them.

• Pip

Brie

I think buying a coffee midway in a long drive is perfectly fine - it's good to stop, stretch the legs, wake one's self up and generally take a break from driving. A good compromise would be to stop the others but not those on a long drive.

Sallyp2

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81993996#Comment_81993996

Will his coffee spends be in their own category … perhaps the category could be coffee / mocha in colour? Good luck ☕️