Teenagers bedroom

Nenen

methekidsandthecat wrote: »

...they stuff rubbish and dirty clothes under the bed - yuk!

Well... you can all take heart as none of your lovely sons and daughters can beat what I managed to do as a teenager... (for the sensitive ones among you, please look away now! :cool:

When I was 15 I had a job waitressing in a local pub. I used to save the T-bones from steaks to bring home for my dogs... can you guess where this is going? :shocked: :shocked: :shocked:

Yep.. you've guessed it... I came home late one night after a long shift dropped the bag of bones on the floor, where they eventually got stuffed under the bed.... few weeks later my Mother went into my bedroom while I was at school to find my lovely yellow curtains had suddenly developed big black spots all over them... the maggots on the bones had hatched out into hundreds of bluebottles! :eek: :eek: :eek:

I came home to get the hiding of my life! Did that stop me?

NO! I'm still an untidy *** to this day! I hoard clutter like there's no tomorrow and although I hope my home is rather more hygenic than my teenage bedroom it certainly isn't tidy (unless we have visitors then it's amad dash to hide things)! I LOATHE housework and so do as little as possible... just the bare essentials to avoid dysentry!!!! I certainly don't clean my children's rooms (they are now 22, 20 and 17) and haven't done so since they were about 12 years old.... i.e old enough to use a hoover and change a bedsheet! I haven't done any of their washing or ironing since they were each 15 either as I taught them all to do their own ...after experiencing the 'dump everything in the washbasket' method of tidying up once too often! :rotfl:

They are all on a rota for the washing up and so they don't leave dirty cups etc in their rooms as they (or their siblings) know how difficult it is to clean dried on gunge and so remember to bring things down for themselves.:T

The most ironic thing of all is that my children's bedrooms, while not perfect, are all tidier than mine is now! Moral of the story... your children will rebel by taking a different approach to whichever stance you adopt... if you want your children to be tidy..... it's simple.... just become messy yourself!

shelley_crow

My mom nagged and threatened my brother about his room for years. Mine was always tidy (i had the tiny box room and kept it clean to make it look bigger). She found a fuzzy plate covered in mould, cups, mugs etc. Lots of smelly washing, he never opened the window or curtains, it was foul. One day she went through to his room to strip his bed....fell over all the crap on the floor and put her back out. Did he tidy it after? No. Did he apologise? No. When her back was better, she took everything other than the desk, bed, clothes and sentimental stuff like teddies down to the charity shop when he was at college (he was about 17), he was not a happy bunny but it was never messy again, there was nothing to mess the room up in the first place. Extreme but effective.

I'm fast thinking about adopting this approach, my DP is a complete and utter pig. Clean washing goes on the floor with dirty and i end up washing the same things twice (after he complains he's got nothing to wear). Rubbish doesn't go in the bin, it goes on the floor. You get the picture. My side is tidy, his is a disgrace. He's never had to tidyin his life, his mom used to do it for him. He's got a shock in store, i don't see why i should have to nag for him to keep things reasonable.

Penny-Pincher!!

I am quite lucky ATM that DD (13) is very tidy. She throws her dirty washing to the top of the stairs and makes her own bed etc. We started the pocket money thing a couple of years ago and it has seemed to of stuck. She keeps her room tidy and she gets a fair amount of dosh:D

This could change at any time though, so not counting my chickens:rolleyes:

PP
xx

Sharra

Thank you so much for all your replies - you have made me feel so much better about the whole thing. I think I will offer to spend a morning helping him box up things to go in the loft, then tell him that it is all up to him - except that I reserve the right to go in and confiscate books/cds/dvds that are left on the floor.
I like the idea of making him do his own washing too - maybe then I won't see clean stuff chucked in the wash just cos he can't be bothered to put it away!

annie123

My DS kept his room tidy until he turned 15..what happened?
After that it was a pig style until the day he left.

Like others I battled including picking everything up put it in black bags and out into the garden...didnt make any difference.
I insisted he kept the door closed so the sweety smell stayed in,(yuck), he did all own washing,ironing and changed bed stuff etc.

When he moved out and in with his GF you could eat off the floor in his place! Not fair said I, "well you have to rebel someway mum don't you?"
I suppose that is what it is.

Now going through the same with DD but she does have big room tidy once a month and no mouldy glasses of milk :eek: which I had with DS

Squiggly_Diddly

Nenen wrote: »

Yep.. you've guessed it... I came home late one night after a long shift dropped the bag of bones on the floor, where they eventually got stuffed under the bed.... few weeks later my Mother went into my bedroom while I was at school to find my lovely yellow curtains had suddenly developed big black spots all over them... the maggots on the bones had hatched out into hundreds of bluebottles! :eek: :eek: :eek:

Urgh.... :eek:

This thread does make me feel better too.... I have reached the point where I just shut their doors & ignore it now. My DD's are 11, 14 & 15 & all live in pigstys. Me (and my mum) have spent a day with each of them (several times) going through their room, helping clear-out & tidy up, get rid of rubbish, sort through all their clothes etc, got it all lovely - and within days they've trashed it again. So now I don't bother any more. I don't go & retrieve their dirty washing either - I will say "I'm doing a dark/white/coloured wash, has anybody got anything, bring it downstairs NOW" - and if they don't then tough. But I certainly don't iron their stuff any more either. If they want it ironed, they do it. Middle DD is quite good at bringing out & doing her washing unprompted (usually) but I figure others will learn when they want to wear something specific one day & its dirty - or someone tells them they smell!!!! They'll realise its not the fairies that do the cleaning!!! (Also forgot to say all 3 of them do know how to use the WM - have done since they were all about 8/9 years old).

Having said that, oldest DD had a new double bed a few months ago & new (cream :eek: ) carpet in her room - which is already grubby. And I wallpapered one wall (2 rolls costing a total of £50 :eek: :eek: ) and rest is all painted white. She is just starting to begin to want it looking nice - I have promised to make her new curtains and she is working on her father to buy her some new furniture. So I got her vouchers from Dunelm Mill for Xmas (she asked for them) and she has bought huge silver mirror to go in there... So I suppose I'm saying it looks like there's hope for improvement...?!?!

Am doing similar with the others - and it does seem to be working slowly. Plus my room is lovely & they like it - so am trying to lead by example, lol!!

Sola

I tell my stepdaughter that if she doesn't tidy her room, I will. And I won't be able to tell what's rubbish and what's stuff for keeping so I'll just bung the lot in binliners and get rid of it. Seems to work most of the time; when I have grabbed armfuls of stuff for junking (including festering clothes which haven't been brought downstairs) she never says she can't find anything, so she obviously doesn't miss it. What makes me apopletic is her leaving soaking wet towels in the middle of the bed before going home, so the last time I just closed the door and left them there ready for her next fortnightly visit.

thriftlady_2

whatatwit wrote: »

If I say anything when my mum is here, she says......you were once a teenager..... in that annoying voice....."Yes, I know and your point is?"

.

Sorry, I haven't anything useful to add -my lads are fairly tidy especially younger one, although I'm anticipating problems with 7 yo dd. I just wanted to empathise with whatatwit. My mum does this too, it is so annoying and completely unhelpful -'oh she's just like you were', or 'you used to do that'... so blooming what, how does that help solve the problem (whatever it may be) ? Then when I challenge her about how unhelpful she's being she says 'yes, my mother was the same' :rolleyes: Give me strength!

beachbeth

recovering_spendaholic wrote: »

She treats the rest of the house in much the same way - straighteners, hairdryer, shoes, make up and so on are littered all over the house

This is what bugs me! I usually shut the door on her room and just occasionally brave a visit in there to retrieve crockery and look for washing. But its when her untidiness spills over into the rest of the house that I really get annoyed.

At the moment there are magazines, toilet roll and bubble bath sitting on our hall windowsill because they belong to her boyfriend. I keep asking her to take them to his house but they have been there for about 3 days now despite her having been to his house several times. I can't bin these because they don't belong to her! All I can do is wait by the front door the next time she says she is going to his house and shove them in her hands as she leaves because otherwise she will just walk past them again!

Plus, I don't know if you will all agree but boys usually tend to be smellier than girls. Im pleased that I have 2 girls because they keep themselves nicely clean and don't have the smelly feet that some boys seem to have. However, my daughter regularly has her boyfriend to stay and now her room has that smelly male odour about it - I can't win!

moanymoany

I hate to say this, but I think you are all fighting a losing battle! My son was just the same. My cousin told me that when her youngest son was 13 - 17 she could stand at the bottom of the stairs and SMELL his room!!!! This was before my little angel hit the Kenvin and Perry years.

DS painted his room black - walls and ceiling including paintwork. He removed the bed and put his mattress on the floor. He had a black blind that stayed down. He spent most of his spare time laying on the mattress listening to music. He only came out to complain of feeling depressed. :rolleyes: The carpet wasn't seen for years as it was covered with clean and dirty clothes which he wore anyway because after being trampled he couldn't tell the difference..

When he was 18 he expressed a desire to move out and share a flat with a friend - we paid the deposit and were thankful the flat was 30 miles away.

I now realise that it is OK not to like what your adolescent children do, but it is impossible to change very much. I have great sympathy with the parents who send their adolescent children to boarding school in the Outer Hebrides. They can be very hard to live with and they can have a profound effect on ones sanity.