Teenagers bedroom

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barbie_babe wrote: »

When i was younger my mum used to put everything from the floor on to the bed. so i couldnt go to bed untill it was all sorted out. This really worked for me as i would never dream of dumping it all back on the floor as i knew i would have been in big trouble.so the stuff got sorted out.
A few times i have got to my wits end telling my kids to tidy up and i have done the same to them and it has worked.

Worked for me. I used my temper to put it all back in its right place. If I recall correctly I was quite young at the time - definitely not a teenager yet.

soappie

With my two, once they got teenage, I told them their room was their domain. I did not and would not venture in. If they wanted something washed, it needed to be in the laundry basket before it got put in the washing machine. If I ran out of cups/mugs I asked them to see what they had in their room.

If they wanted to invite friends round, they were more than welcome. But they could not rely on me to sort their room out.

It saved ME a lot of traumas and fretting. I could just close the door on the rooms and say to visitors - oh that's their responsibility, not mine.

When my daughter left home and I finally got into her room, it was quite a strange time. There was candle 'soot' all over the walls and damp and mould behind the wardrobe. But, the room has been reclaimed now and is an extra sitting room.

As to the fire hazard stuff, as long as you have a fire alarm in close proximity, most teenagers are agile enough to get out of a situation when they need to. I bet they don't trip over the stuff when they need to visit the bathroom in the middle of the night!

But hugs anyway

nearlyrich

Queenie wrote: »

Three words: Shut-the-door!

Actually, your post goes deeper than an untidy room; seems you are really saying that he has no respect for property/belongings which costs you your hardearned!

My lads (12&13) have to bring their own washing down - I'll wash it; they have their own chores, one of which involves doing their own ironing. They are not in such a hurry to throw them on the floor when *they* have invested *their* time and energy into the process

They have pocket money each month and have to budget for spends/savings and gifts from that amount; they learn not only to budget, but the cost behind their *wants*.

Thirdly, there comes a point where you have to step back and let them learn their lessons the hard way. Besides, wait until he starts noticing girls and wants to bring them back to listen to CD's ... could almost be called "miraculous"

This is my approach to teen's bedrooms, I have 2 now 20 and 22, rule is no eating upstairs any washing has to go in the washing basket and they do their own ironing, I don't go in their rooms.

If the problem is lack of respect for belongings don't give him anything new or the money to buy stuff untill he respects the stuff he already has, this has never been a problem for me they do respect CD's etc.

Yelling and threats are counter productive, do they have somewhere to store stuff, do they understand how to tidy up and keep it tidy with a few minute per day routine? Rememeber being 15, much more exciting things to do than tidy up! My DD had her ski gear in a prominent drawer in her room and her underwear strewn around in several washing baskets, we spent an hour together working out where things should go, ski gear is now in a case in the loft, it gets used for a week once per year.

Fozz

My two daughters share a room, which isn't ideal! The room is a tip, but I have learned to just take out dirty washing (which has to be put in the laundry bin) and dirty cups/plates. If I want to clean, I just pile everything up and hoover round it.
Nothing I tried to make them clear up worked, so I just now say " Well if that's the way you want to live it's up to you!"
If my younger daughter could have her own room, I think she would keep it tidy, but her sister is really messy and I think she just thinks there's no point in keeping her half of the room tidy which I do understand.
As long as the rest of the house is reasonably tidy their room doesn't bother me any more, I just shut the door and forget it!
Funnily enough, my bedroom was always tidy when I was a teenager, but I only had about a tenth of the "stuff" my two have so it was really easy. My clothes and possessions were really precious so I liked looking after them and putting them away.

recovering_spendaholic

This thread has made me feel less isolated in my never ending struggle with DD1 (17 and very stroppy) and her midden of a room. I have tried most, if not all, of the suggestions above but nothing works so now I just leave it. She takes her friends up there and they don't seem to care if the room is a tip. I change the bed once a week and pick up all the washing off the floor but I won't clean the room as it gets me too mad when I see the state of the place. She treats the rest of the house in much the same way - straighteners, hairdryer, shoes, make up and so on are littered all over the house - now I just get them and chuck them into a big wicker ottoman I have in the hall - keeps it tidy and I don't care if the make up gets ruined or spills on to other stuff in there. Whatawit - I have the same problem with the homework situation too.

applemella

I have varying probs with all 3 of my DDs. The eldest (14) has her own room and gradually she has started to be a bit tidier. She has a laundry basket in her room and unless she puts it out the stuff don't get washed. She has had to do her own washing once and has learnt from that!
I stopped ironing a while ago- heartbreaking that you put time and effort into it and then clean clothes go on floor.
She still has a long way to go but hopefully she's well on her way!
The younger 2 , well the threat of a sleep over being cancelled worked wonders!!

methekidsandthecat

Hi all

i have the same issues - DS is 17 and used to be tidy but since having a bigger room does not care - found a black sack full of clothes before Christmas that had been there since we moved in September - he has been complaining that he has no tshirts - mmmm I wonder why!

DD - her room is a health hazard - well nearly. She does have the box room and I ahve offered to help her but she is very quick to tell me that it is her domain. I agree to a point but like others her I will try and wipe round it once a week to collect dirty washing and dishes. Talking to friends who have teenagers they also seem to have issues with the girls either throwing ironed clothes on the floor where they remain until put back in the linen bag to be washed (not happy about this one) or they stuff rubbish and dirty clothes under the bed - yuk! I have tried shouting, bribery and even taking the door off the bedroom - nothing works

Me

Fruball

I was going to suggest the 'taking the door off the hinges' approach however this would only work with teens that really value their privacy.

My ds15 would just adjust to having no door - not much bothers him and he has always accepted punishments with no fuss and they don't seem to work much.

Having said that, he is the most polite and lovely lad a Mother could wish for and helps me out so much with the babies so if being untidy is his only fault then I count myself very lucky !!!

I suspect that when he gets his own place it will be immaculate !!! (ok, well reasonably tidy anyway) :rotfl:

Glad I am not alone in this battle tho !

arnie&caseysma!

My mum was recently in this situation with my little sister who is only 11. She refused to tidy her room and was told time and time again. She came home from school one day to find nothing on her bedroom floor and it was nowhere to be found - it was also times perfectly for bin day so she thought it had all been ditched. The things she was left with were always tidied up after that and slowly one by one when she was at school things got replaced in her room - it has never been messy since, although I am sure the time will come.

In my house I think I am still living with a teenager - OH leaves his clothes on the floor waiting on me to pick them up and yes, I am doing it but they are all in carrier bags in a corner and the carrier bags are about to turn into bin bags. He ironed a load of washing today for the first time in 3 years because I got on his case so badly yesterday. It has got to the stage where I wash and iron NOTHING of his and he will soon run out of clothes......NOT MY PROBLEM!!!

He even wore his kilt on hogmanay and yesterday I got fed of of seeing it lying on the floor so it has been put in a tub under the bed and when the time comes that he needs it again he will have to try and find a dry cleaners that will do it same day! £300 just left in a heap but I sure as hell aint dealing with it out of pure stubbornness!!!

pigpen

OOOOH... I LOVE THIS THREAD!! ... MY FREAK IS NORMAL AFTER ALL!!!!!!!!

My son is 16... going on uber-pig.. and my daughter is 13 going on super-pig.

The doors in both rooms barely open.. both have high sleepers and I swear if they rolled out in the middle of the nigth neither would notice!!

I wash wha is in the laundry basket.. soemtimes when the smell gets unbearable I go in my sons bedroom and wash all the socks.. he has atheletes foot bordering on trench foot (dr's words not mine!!) and his feet are rank!! He doesn't wash often enough has total lack of self-respect.. and more foten than not the only things I say to him are 'go wash then come back and speak to me!'

My daughter bathes but her room is a sty.

Both have dirty and clean laundry strewn everywhere (madness in my daughters case as her cupboard is in the landing so she shouldn't even have clothes in there!) CD's, games, books (I do go pick these up and confiscate them!) make-up (DD's room only!) shoes, and rubbish!! Why do they empty their junk on the floor when both have bins in their room.. I can't understand it.

I keep in mind one day they will have left home and we will miss their mess.. as we will miss them.. no really... we will..