Money Moral Dilemma: Should I have to pay for my hair and make-up to be my friend's bridesmaid?

Pollycat

Just thinking…

I wonder if the brides who expect bridesmaids to pay for their own hair, make-up, dress, shoes etc and cover the cost of the bride's share of the hen party actually state their expectations up-front?

Or do they ask friends to be bridesmaids then ht them with the cost of it later?

Emmia

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82001969#Comment_82001969

I think it is ask first, costs later…

Do bridesmaids (on being asked) ask if they'll need to cover the cost of dress/shoes/hair and makeup etc. and then decide whether to accept on the basis of the answer provided?

Pollycat

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82001974#Comment_82001974

If they can't afford to pay for the costs of being a bridesmaid, they should ask before accepting.

Of course, it would be more polite if the bride explained the deal up-front…

Emmia

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82002078#Comment_82002078

Personally I paid for my bridesmaids hair, makeup, and dresses (which were in my case just normal event dresses on the sale rail in BHS... Costing ~£25 each) - they provided their own shoes as they both already had something suitable.

Part of the problem in expecting people to pay is that BM dresses are rarely re-wearable and can cost several hundred pounds a pop - if the bride cannot afford to buy the dresses herself, then perhaps she should have a rethink on the size of the bridal party or finding dress options which are more pocket friendly.

Pollycat

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82002094#Comment_82002094

"Part of the problem in expecting people to pay is that BM dresses are rarely re-wearable and can cost several hundred pounds a pop - if the bride cannot afford to buy the dresses herself, then perhaps she should have a rethink on the size of the bridal party or finding dress options which are more pocket friendly."

Bridezillas…

Totally unaware (or uncaring) of putting the cost of getting married abroad or at a fancy hotel/castle in the middle of nowhere or setting a bizarre dress code.

A mist seems to descend on some brides during the wedding plann9ng.

A crazy story I read recently involved a bride who told guests that they couldn't wear pale blue as that was the colour of the bridesmaids dresses.

No problem with that but one of her friends had recently got engaged and her ring was a sapphire.

Think dark blue.

No.

It was a pale blue.

So the bride-to-be told her friend that she couldn't wear her engagement ring to the wedding.

sheramber

Since there is no 'MUST to being a bridesmaid, there is no MUST to what you pay for.

if the bride says yu must pay to be a bridesmaid then you decide whether you want to accept that offer.

Pollycat

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82002917#Comment_82002917

And that's fine if the bride-to-be details the cost of being a bridesmaid at the time of giving the invite.

But not OK for he bride-to-be to hit the bridesmaids with what she expects the bridesmaids to pay for months/years after the invite.

The author of this dilemma seems to be OK with paying for her own dress, shoes and jewellery but not hair and make-up.

Cantandrex

I think I may be a little old-fashioned, but the costs of being a bridesmaid are usually paid for by the bride (or her parents). Maybe it's different now.

I would seriously think and re-think if I wanted to be involved with this wedding based on the brides, in my opinion, unfair expectations.

If you chose to go ahead and pay as she expects, I hope you have a lovely time...

... but this is not really 'the done thing!'