Money Moral Dilemma: Should I have to pay for my hair and make-up to be my friend's bridesmaid?

Jemma01

ABSOLUTELY NOT, who needs friends like that!?

Jollypaddy

Oh the bride should pay for all that if that's what she wants.

rollingmoon

Agree to all of Bridezilla's ludicrous terms, and then phone in sick the day before.

Emmia

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81926017#Comment_81926017

But if the OP has forked out for the dress, shoes, jewellery etc. of the bride's choosing they'll still be out of pocket... Plus they'll be liable for their hair and makeup costs as a "late cancellation".

The easiest option is just to ask not to be a bridesmaid - ask to be a guest only (if the bride still wants them to attend).

Wanttodobetter

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81919807#Comment_81919807

This is not 'tradition' , it's a nasty new import from the US.

As others have said the tradition is that the specific costs of the wedding are paid for. The bridesmaids and other friends cover the hen party.

Just tell your friend you can't afford it.

Pollycat

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81927924#Comment_81927924

Whoosh!

Why do you think I put 'tradition' in quotes...?

🤣

Emmia

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81927924#Comment_81927924

I didn't bother with a hen do. I've always hated attending them and didn't want one myself.

Some people were disappointed, so I said that they were free to have a hen do for me, but I wouldn't be attending.

Pollycat

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81927924#Comment_81927924

Where did the tradition that the bridesmaids and other friends cover the hen party come from?

Certainly not a tradition in my day.

freyasmum

In my mind, if you're asking someone to do something, then you should pay. If you're giving the choice, then perhaps fair enough.

Weddings are expensive and I've seen people say that the bridesmaids can do their own hair and make up or can pay to have it done.

But if you're asking people to wear specific dresses and jewellery, it's criminal to make them pay for your choices.

Pollycat

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81997679#Comment_81997679

'criminal' seems to be a somewhat over-the-top word…