Looking To The Future With Hope

RhiBi

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81895537#Comment_81895537

Thank you for your kind words, I’ve got tears in my eyes. I will get there, I have moments when I sit and cry and things are getting on top of me, but I’m trying find new things to occupy my time and find enjoyment in.

RhiBi

well, that’s counselling session no.3 done. It is definitely helping, I was struggling with the thought of loneliness for the rest of my life, and am learning that it’s ok to not have a plan, and its about learning to be comfortable in my own company. I also need to learn that what has happened isn’t because of things that I’ve done, and that I am a likeable person!

Tonight I’m going to have fish and chips for tea. I froze all the batch cooking I did, not thinking to leave one out for tonight, so that was a rookie error! I won’t get home from work until about 7pm tomorrow night, so I’ll get one of the soups out to have when I get home.

I listed a few things on Vinted last week, 3 sold immediately and so I’ll have £32 coming my way this week. I already had £8 in the account which I’d forgotten about. I’ve set it up so the money goes straight into my emergency fund. I was full of enthusiasm after the 3 things sold within an hour of me putting them on there last week so I listed more. It was obviously beginners luck but they haven’t sold! I’ll keep trying though be cause it all adds up!

foxgloves

Hello @RhiBi - The truth is that none of us can know what the future will bring, but working positively on the present helps influence our future years. I tell myself this if I find myself overthinking possible aspects of the future or overthinking episodes from the past which are best learned from then forgotten & I find it generally gets my thoughts back into perspective.

F

RhiBi

That is what I’m working on, the future I envisaged when I got married has gone, and I now need to have trust in whatever happens is meant to be. It might not be what I envisaged, but it doesn’t mean it won’t be a happy future.

Dakota_Rose

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81896531#Comment_81896531

This is very insightful and very true. You’ll get to a point that you couldn’t imagine life any other way 😊

RhiBi

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81896701#Comment_81896701

Thank you, I’ve got tears again after reading your post! I keep telling myself I’ve been through worse and I’ll get through this.

I have moments where I struggle and I’m sure I will for a while. But there’s a lot more moments when I feel focused and can get on with things. Yesterday was one of those days when I did batch cooking, today hasn’t been so good, but I am putting that down to the counselling session which is making me think, and that’s what it’s designed to do for me to move forward.

To also keep this MSE, I’ve transferred £32 from Vinted into my emergency fund. I can’t quite get my head around all the different pots yet, I’ve got one for the £5 Friday I’m doing but other than that I’m struggling. Also, I can have one pot - the emergency fund at 4.25% the other pots are all 2.25% so it makes sense to me to put it all in the emergency fund and move it when I need it.

I currently pay car tax and insurance monthly, but I’m hoping to change those to paying in full. The insurance is due in July, so I’ll definitely manage that. I just need to work out when is best to change to annual tax, taking into account other expenses, birthdays etc. I’m thinking April, as I’ll have had 2 months of not paying council tax and it’s a clear month for birthdays.

RhiBi

Morning! Dog no.2 woke at 12.30 last night, I mumbled, not now and turned over and he settled back to sleep and is still asleep now. If he had continued to wake, I’d have got up with him but he settled back to sleep, so I’m wondering if the early wakings are more habit than needing the toilet.

I’m sat in bed with a cuppa updating my good reads page. I’ve always enjoyed reading but I’ve read a lot more recently. I can get lost in a book and my mind focusses on my book and it’s a time when I forget everything else. I pay for kindle unlimited, and it’s not something I want to stop unless absolutely necessary as it is my escape. I also have a rare eye condition and have no central vision in one eye, so with my kindle I can change font size to help.

I’ve got a later start to work today as I won’t finish until about 7pm hence the relaxed start to the day. I e got a leek and potato soup out of the freezer as by the time I get in that’ll be enough for me, with a few slices of bread. I’d normally have a crusty roll but I’ve not got any part baked ones here and I want to log another NSD so my seeded bread will suffice.

RhiBi

good evening! I’m in bed with a cuppa tea and 2 dogs curled up asleep by me, I wonder how long one will sleep for, yes puppy, I’m looking at you!!

I had my leek and potato soup when I got in from work and very nice it was too. Work was busy, I work for children’s services, so it’s mentally draining work on times. Ironically, I deal with DV in my work, yet still managed to get myself in that situation despite the knowledge and training I’ve had.

When I first opened up about what was going on at home, I was, obviously, a complete mess. I couldn’t string 2 thoughts together and certainly couldn’t make a decision, so for all the financial stuff I went to CAB. I don’t regret that as at the time it was what I needed, but now I’m feeling stronger I’m in a dilemma. I signed for them to talk to creditors on my behalf and applied for payment holidays, I hadn’t asked on here for advice at this point and was on autopilot just doing what I was told and letting people make the decisions for me. They told me to get the debt and mental health form completed which I did, and emailed my allocated IDVA (dv advisor) for further information to support my claim of financial abuse. I’ve had very little contact with them, they emailed me about the successful write off which was good. I received a letter 2 weeks ago from M&S bank telling me that they had tried to contact CAB as per the letter of authority but had no response, I contacted my CAB worker and they said they would chase it up. I emailed them this morning to ask for an update and she replied saying she didn’t think there was anything but she’d look at my file and let me know by the end of the week. This afternoon, I received an email from Virgin Money which said much the same as M& S bank that they’d tried to contact CAB, but had no response. I’ve forwarded to her. So, I’m feeling in the dark about it all and not really sure what to do.

If I were to withdraw my consent for them to act on my behalf, I don’t know what they’ve done so wouldn’t know how to pick up where they’ve left off. But on the other hand, I’ve now got 2 creditors who are saying they’ve tried to make contact with them but had no response. In addition to that, I also received an email form my CAB worker 2 weeks ago saying one creditor had rejected the write off. If I were self managing that, I send it to FOS, but as I’m not, I think it’s just been left as it is. I know that claims have to be referred to the FOS within 6 months, and if this situation drags on, I might lose that opportunity. So I don’t really know where to go from here.

If anyone has any advice on what to do, I’d be very grateful!

RhiBi

Morning, I’m sat in bed with a cuppa tea. I’m not in work today so I can have a lazier start to the day. I’ve got GMB on the tv and will probably make another cuppa and bring it up to bed.

A few years ago, my daughter bought be a WiFi kettle! I’ve loved this kettle, I could switch it on in bed and stay in the warmth of bed until it boiled. No waiting downstairs in a cold kitchen for the kettle to boil! It’s the little pleasures isn’t it! Anyway, for some reason, it’s decided not to talk to my WiFi anymore and I can’t work out why. I’ve not changed broadband, so it’s a mystery. So today I might decide that it’s not going to beat me and I’ll try again to sort it. I think I’m also going to make a sausage casserole and freeze some. I’ll have a good amount of meals in my freezer then. I’ve also got a load of veg that I blanch cooked at Christmas time after the local Asda giving it away on Christmas Eve, so I’ll get some of the carrots out to go in the casserole.

It’s my friends birthday tomorrow, she’s been a friend for years and has been so good over the past few months so I need to get her a small gift. So today I’ll get the kidney beans for my chilli and I need some milk too. I also want to add a few more things on Vinted although after my early success last week, things have gone quiet on that front, but I’ll keep trying.

I don’t know if I said in previous posts, but I’m trying to take up knitting again, which I’ve not done since my children were babies. It’s more undoing than knitting at the moment, but I’ll keep trying so I’ll do some of that too.

I’m trying to keep myself busy, but also conscious that I don’t want to wear myself out filling every moment so that I don’t have time to think and get down. I need to learn to enjoy moments of nothingness too.

lucielle

Good luck with the knitting, I’m a very basic granny square crocheter if such a thing exists!

L