Need fresh eyes on my budget!

Blackcats

I tried YNAB again at the end of last year. At first I enjoyed it but I prefer the flexibility of ye olde worlde pen and paper. I like to scribble some ideas and do first attempt figures and cross things out with a red pen if necessary. I have an A4 folder with dividers for each month and I keep my records there as well as meal plans and things to do list,
i do have budget pots for spending set up in my chase account and I move money from the right pot to cover the expenditure as it occurs. In my DH's chase account are the medium/long term savings pots such as for a specific holiday or our repair/replace pot or our car pot.

As others have mentioned keep tweaking and adapting to find a way that suits you and that you will keep up to date is more than good enough.

foxgloves

I'm like @Blackcats with doing '1st time workings out'. I have a big pad of scrap 'clean on one side' A4 paper on my desk. When I'm setting my monthly budget, I get all the essential bills, food, Personal Spends, etc, deducted, then I write down in rough what I have left & work out optimum way of allocating it between general savings & pots. Atm, this includes re-building our energency fund too, as that took a huge hit in January with needing a new roof. Sometimes I work out a couple of allocation options to see if one works better than the other. I get through a lot of scrap paper but after very many non-budgeting spendy years, I like to get the most out of our money.

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honeybee1234

As before, I really appreciate all this input from you all! I am scribbling notes down of useful things. I like @elsien point of cash because this reminded me of previously stuffing envelopes and it worked because I didn't have immediate access to it, and also it's quite satisfying seeing the stash there ready to go. I like your method @Blackcats of an A4 folder. And @foxgloves I do something like you with writing down the budget but I need to work with this more!

Okay. So yesterday me and OH went into town to run some errands. I try not to do this except where absolutely necessary as I resent paying for parking but we both had errands to run. I had to buy some toiletries for DS from Boots where there was a sale, and saved him the bus fare home as he met us after college. This highlighted that I buy the boys a lot of their toiletries, some are basic Lidl but some are from Boots/Superdrug etc as they both have skin issues. I've been buying this out of my personal spends but I'm thinking of adding to the 'kids' pot for this instead in future as I keep an eye out for sales on the things they use.

We finished early and were waiting for DS so I treated OH to a coffee and pastry at the coffee shop in the main centre and did some people watching sat by the window. This came from personal spends but as soon as I did it I felt completely guilty and can't stop thinking about how I should have gone somewhere different, used a code, etc. In fairness I rarely do this but I had a reasonably good day being out of the house and I do enjoy the odd treat when I can manage it. I used to have cash in my purse that I'd use specifically for occasions like that as a no-guilt treat fund so I'm going to go back to having this for the rare occasions this happens!

Today I need to do a shopping list for tomorrow. The cupboards are full so it's fresh stuff I need mainly. I need to do a menu plan for the week with what I have already and work out the list from there. The grocery pot is looking healthy, and the plan is to allocate a weekly figure to see me through the rest of the month.

I still need to talk to the ex about sharing Uber costs for DS. He's pretty laid back about stuff like this so it should be fine.

Blackcats

sometimes a treat is worth more than the £'s it cost so no guilt allowed on this occasion. If you'd gone to The Ritz for champagne and caviar then maybe some guilt would be appropriate but an occasional cuppa and pastry with people watching can be just what's needed. Cash in your purse for treats is a good idea. We've just had a bacon butty at a little tea hut with fab views after a walk at a local beauty spot. We paid for it from our little cash stash which we treat as petty cash and top back up to £20 each budget day. Still enough cash left for an ice cream later this month 🥳

MayDogsandCoffee

When you talk to your ex about the taxis maybe suggest a pot for other 'incidentals too, such as toiletries and clothes.

foxgloves

Defo a good idea to sort out those taxi costs with your ex, @honeybee1234, especially as you seem to think he will be amenable to paying his share or more if his income is greater than yours.

Our Personal Spends covers things like treats, coffees out, the occasional magazine, a chocolate bar, etc. It is never used for household stuff as that would all be covered from other budget pots. It also covers toiletries apart from the basic stuff we'd buy from our grocery shop - soap, toothpaste, bath bubbles, etc. We both like nice skincare so that's something we fund from our monthly Personal Spends too, but we never use it for little odds & sods for the house.

I have worked on my Money Book (where I write out my monthly budgets on Big Budget Day) & now have it set up exactly how I like it. I write it out longhand, but go back & annotate various things when I've actioned whatever it is…..moved funds, paid off a credit card (which we still have - 1 each - but now only used for building loyalty points for vouchers, never for borrowing), paid agreed sums into savings or pots, etc. I do a mid-month budget check-in around the 15th of each month where I check that the amount of money we have at that point in the month still tallies with what I expect to have according to my original budget. When I was learning to budget, which I came to later in life, I also did a check-in on the 3rd week too, but I think that was because as a new budgeter, I needed the reassurance, but I abandoned it once my confidence with money grew, as I found I only really needed to do it mid-month. I still feel that if there's an error or oversight somewhere, I'd rather know about it mid-month than start my Big Budget Day procedure 2 weeks later & find I have less money than I was expecting.

You do sound determined @honeybee1234 , I think you are going to end up with something which works for you. Do you ever do surveys to boost your income? They can be quite useful. We keep anything earned on Prolific Academic surveys to add to our Personal Spends, then other survey cash-outs go into the household one way or another. I don't do many survey sites as the time I spend growing veg & crafting for presents probably makes better financial use of my time, but I still keep my hand in with 2 or 3.

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Spendless

I haven't done it myself yet but assumming you have a Boots Advantage card would this be of any use to you when buying toiletries? ETA - No idea whylink isn't coming up but gogle Boots recyling scheme for details

https://www.boots.com/boots-recycling-scheme?srsltid=AfmBOoqlKqL5mEeMwpP3NZcEQZMrCgf3PzrEh3YT4tQJaUy3t-vSwghn

honeybee1234

I honestly think I internally punish myself @Blackcats because I haven't got my finances straight, or my life, with my internal voice saying I don't deserve to have a treat. I do struggle with being incredibly self-critical in many aspects and it is something I'm working on.

@MayDogsandCoffee do you mean a shared pot for expenses type thing?

@foxgloves I do like the idea of writing everything and checking in mid-month. I have a very scribbly notebook but I wonder if a folder may make everything more formal in my mind, thus helping progress? Something to think about.

I do indeed do surveys and make extensive use of cashback sites and apps. I've tended to just put proceeds in savings but my plan now is to throw spare funds towards my credit card. I'm looking at what I can do in the garden as well actually with growing veg as I enjoy gardening, I find it very therapeutic.

MayDogsandCoffee

Yes, have a shared pot - so many times I see Mum's on these posts paying out for all child expenses when it should be 50:50, it can really mount up over the years. Growing veg is quite easy, start with courgettes, beans (green and runner), spring onions, tomatos. If you get a packet of seeds you can grow some on and sell surplus 'at your gate'. People in my area do that and can get £1 for a young tomato or courgette plant, beans sell in 6 for £1 - it undercuts the local garden centers so they always sell. You do need a warm area for young plants though. I know you find it difficult to get out but some areas also have community allotments where you help out for a share of produce.

Mands

We finished early and were waiting for DS so I treated OH to a coffee and pastry at the coffee shop in the main centre and did some people watching sat by the window. This came from personal spends but as soon as I did it I felt completely guilty and can't stop thinking about how I should have gone somewhere different, used a code, etc.

Why is it ok for your personal spends to be used for toiletries for the (almost adult?) kids, but not ok for it to be used for coffee and cake for you?

I'm not looking for an answer, just trying to nudge you towards thinking why are you always last on the list?

You are agrophobic, I think? Wouldn't a treat after being out be the sort of thing that might reinforce the pattern that being out is not terrible? Therefore really, really good for your mental health?