Need fresh eyes on my budget!

honeybee1234

Thanks everyone for your thoughts, I do appreciate the input!

@ellenvan absolutely agree about boundaries. I think I have parental guilt as I haven't been the resident parent for a few years so I tend to compensate through providing. I've been taking a step back and reassessing these thoughts, and being logical as to what I provide as a parent and what is guilt. Very useful.

@foxgloves the supermarket visit is very strictly planned! Time, route to drive, how long I take. It's partly why I do my shopping list and I write it in order of the way I walk round the aisles.

I've been playing around with the pots for sinking funds, and think I'm happy. Agree I need to bite the bullet and just do it! I'm going to note what works and what I need to tweak as I go through the month.

I'm having another chat with my eldest later to outline my situation. I'm aware she's coming up to a transitional period as her tenancy will be ending soon and she hasn't decided what to do yet so I'm bearing that in mind and will try to support through advice and practical help.

@KxMx I'll take a look at that, thanks!

Mands

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81905824#Comment_81905824

I am someone who has to trick themselves into starting something but then thrives on tweaking/improving my systems.

A few years ago my finances changed, massively, for the worse. At a time when I was exhausted from longterm caring our joint income suddenly became my income, only a third of what it used to be.

My first savings pot was named "Phone and Hair". Did that make sense? Maybe, on some bizarre level. The phone bill used to pop up at the end of the month when I was out of cash, my hair got cut on a schedule that didn't sync with anything else so I used to get caught out there too. So I lumped the two together, started that savings pot and tried to ignore that other big stuff (electricity bill, car insurance, house repairs) wasn't accounted for. As I settled into a new routine I added in other pots. There's now an absurd number but that suits me well. I like the granularity.

And just last month I split out "Phone" from "Hair" after 7 silly years of that.

My point is: start somewhere. It won't be perfect, it doesn't need to be. Just jump in and fine-tune later. From what I can see you've made massive progress in the last few weeks.

joedenise

I decided to go down the YNAB route, yes it costs but I find it so much easier than spreadsheets. I have a ridiculous number of "pots" - at the last count there were 40! I've added a few more since that count (which was probably 6 months ago) as decided to split out the Holiday pot into individual pots for each one including separate British and Foreign holidays in our motorhome.

As @Mands says above you have to start somewhere.

dreaming

@honeybee1234 - re the grocery shopping, would click and collect work for you (if your supermarket offers that, of course). This way you are more in control of what you are putting in your basket but are still going out to collect it. I actually use delivery services due to physical disabilities but find it a good way to avoid any temptation spending. The drwback is that you can't make use of yellow stickers, and I always tick "no substitutions" as some of them were quite random and I don't want to stand on the doorstep deciding whether to accept them or not. As for budgetting - the more pots you have the better prepared you will be in my opinion. I don't use physical pots - just lines on a spreadsheet - but when I was facing redundancy (and deciding whether to retire early, which I did), I wrote every spend down for a few weeks. It was a bit tedious, but it allowed me to see where I could save money (a couple of long-running subscriptions which got cancelled) and also the smaller things that you think are occasional but seem to occur with regularity even if infrequently. It's too easy to overlook these or think you can pay it out of some excess cash (which never seems exist). I also "analysed" my shopping receipts (this was in the days when I actually visited the supermarket) and realised that the odd "treat" I had started to allow myself after a long day at work had crept up until it was nearly a quarter if my bill! The odd bottle of wine, or some chocolate, or a magazine once in a while had turned into a bottle of wine, and some chocolate, and a magazine, pretty much every week. This element is definitely easier to control when doing online shopping - even if I do put something randpm in my basket I have the time to have second thoughts and remove it before delivery. I don't have lots of different bank accounts but just use a spreadsheet to allocate my money . This works for me as I am very organised/disciplined (or anal as my daughter calls it) when it comes to money but understand that people have different methods. Even after doing this for many years, I still change parts of it as life changes - e.g. as I no longer drive I don't have car expenses but allocate a certain amount for taxis in case I can't get a bus (the hospital I attend sometimes is not on a direct bus route and my daughter can't always take me). Even if I have no known requirement for this in the coming month I still allocate an amount "just in case". You are doing well from what I have read and the important thing is to keep trying.

honeybee1234

@Mands thankyou for sharing what you did. You are of course right that I need to start somewhere! I too like having lots of pots, I just need to utilise them now!

@joedenise I had a look at YNAB years ago but wrote it off for reasons I can't remember. I read about people using it on here now and I'm thinking if it may be useful 🤔 I currently use a notebook where I write everything out and forecast it forward but I want to advance this so I may look into YNAB and see if it's a good fit now.

@dreaming some good advice, thanks! I do a smallish delivery from Snsbury's at the start of the month with any things I can't get from Lidl, a small Amazon order for some pet bits/toiletries/household stuff then my main weekly shop is Lidl. My issue has been I haven't been allocating a weekly Lidl budget from the pot. I don't think I'm frivolous and my whole set up is solid, it's the execution that's the problem! I'm going to focus more on a fixed weekly amount and working with what's in the cupboards/freezer as I have a good stock and can make thoughtful use of things I already have.

So yesterday I allocated money to pots (yay!) The trouble is that I can either have 80.00 for Ubers for DS, or personal spends, but not both.

I tend to use personal spends for random stuff that pops up or if I don't have a pot for something that crops up so it never lasts. I'm going to call on my ex to discuss Ubers and see if we can come to some arrangement based on splitting things down the middle. I have contemplated trying to take him one evening but we'll see - that's a big ask atm with my agoraphobia so don't want to rely on it.

joedenise

I'm not sure if you're aware but you can get a 34 day free trial with YNAB to try it out so might be worth doing that and doing your notebook at the same time so that if it isn't for you you won't lose track in your notebook. I just find it so much easier than using a spreadsheet.

Years ago I used to use a notebook and work things out in advance but gave that up about 15 years ago then tried spreadsheets and finally in I think 2014 I changed to YNAB and been using it ever since.

foxgloves

I think it's a case of doing whatever works best for us. I know some people swear by YNAB, others prefer a notebook. I use an A4 notebook for writing out my monthly budgets, along with 3 spreadsheets. One spreadsheet is for bills, the second is to log the amounts in each of our 10 savings pots & the third keeps a tally of our Personal Spends. I always write each monthly budget out long-hand, using the same format. At the back of my notebook, I have reserved some pages for tracking grocery spending & some for my holiday payment schedule so I know the money required at each stage will.be available. It might not be the most sophisticated system in the world of budgeting but it works & I'm happy with it. Ultimately what matters is that we work with whatever system we prefer as a tool for facilitating us to live within our means.

Time2count

I wonder if it's worth contacting some local cab companies and seeing what their prices would be like for the number of journeys your son does each month? I don't use Uber myself so unsure if it's generally in line with other cabs or cheaper? If there are several journeys each month they might allow you to set up an account with them.

elsien

I didn’t get on with YNAB either although I can’t remember why now.

I do have a spreadsheet. I’m also even more old school as well because for some day to day spending I still firmly go into the cash in envelopes camp. For me, particularly for the more discretionary items, handing over cash is much more like spending real money and once it’s gone, it’s gone. Swiping on a card just doesn’t have the same impact.

I know that is some people’s idea of hell but it’s whatever works for you in whatever format.

Humdinger1

Found your diary and subscribed @honeybee1234. You're doing brilliantly- you've truly had your lbm, no?! Yes, pots take a while to tweak. I've recently put groceries up by £5 per week as this is realistically what I'm spending. Agree that keeping 1k as an emergency fund is a good idea. You'll feel illuminated when you pay the rest off debt. Onwards and upwards love Humdinger xx