Money Moral Dilemma: If I sell the classic car my kids got me, should I give them their money back?

MSE_Kelvin

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

A few years ago, I had a 'big' birthday, and my children kindly clubbed together and bought me a classic car as a present. I've loved having it and have had plenty of use out of it, but now due to changing circumstances I'm planning to sell it. Should I share the money I get for it between my children?

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Kim_13

Legally, once you give a gift it is the property of the person it was given to and theirs to do with as they see fit. If we don’t like a jumper we can eBay/charity shop it. The gifter likely will never know, whereas we can’t hide a car disappearing.

Talk to the children. Thank them for the wonderful gift and tell them what you have told us. If the changing circumstances mean you need the money for something else, then it would be strange to give them the money back whether it feels ‘wrong’ to be selling the car or not. If it is that you can’t manage the upkeep of a classic car any more, then perhaps one of the children would like to take it on. If they don’t, and you don’t need the money, perhaps use some of it to do something nice as a family. Everyone will be a lot happier if you agree on the way forward between you.

Emmia

Kim_13 said:

Legally, once you give a gift it is the property of the person it was given to and theirs to do with as they see fit. If we don’t like a jumper we can eBay/charity shop it. The gifter likely will never know, whereas we can’t hide a car disappearing.

Talk to the children. Thank them for the wonderful gift and tell them what you have told us. If the changing circumstances mean you need the money for something else, then it would be strange to give them the money back whether it feels ‘wrong’ to be selling the car or not. If it is that you can’t manage the upkeep of a classic car any more, then perhaps one of the children would like to take it on. If they don’t, and you don’t need the money, perhaps use some of it to do something nice as a family. Everyone will be a lot happier if you agree on the way forward between you.

This

Talk to your kids about it, and say this. The fact is you're older, so feeling that the classic car is no longer appropriate shouldn't come as a surprise.

Brie

Short answer: no. 

Your gift, your choice.  Sell it and buy something else you'll enjoy.  It's the gift that keeps on giving.

Woodstok2000

Kim_13 said:

Legally, once you give a gift it is the property of the person it was given to and theirs to do with as they see fit. If we don’t like a jumper we can eBay/charity shop it. The gifter likely will never know, whereas we can’t hide a car disappearing.

Talk to the children. Thank them for the wonderful gift and tell them what you have told us. If the changing circumstances mean you need the money for something else, then it would be strange to give them the money back whether it feels ‘wrong’ to be selling the car or not. If it is that you can’t manage the upkeep of a classic car any more, then perhaps one of the children would like to take it on. If they don’t, and you don’t need the money, perhaps use some of it to do something nice as a family. Everyone will be a lot happier if you agree on the way forward between you.

Job done,close the thread now!

kimwp

Legally and morally no, they gave you a gift, why would you be required to return it if you turn it into another form?

sheramber

You could not offer the money

You could offer and they refuse

You could offer and they accept it

You could suggest you spend the proceeds on a family event. 

Do you want to maintain a good relationship with your family?

You know them better than anybody else

mlz1413

I also love Kim-13 post and think it is a great way forward.

Also you say you have enjoyed the car and had lots of use from it. So the present they got you was clearly a great choice.

But circumstances do change. Maybe its your health. Maybe its your finances.  But ultimately I think it is your choice, just communicate that so your family know.

As Brie says this could be the gift that keeps on giving!

nero33

Kim_13 said:

Legally, once you give a gift it is the property of the person it was given to and theirs to do with as they see fit. If we don’t like a jumper we can eBay/charity shop it. The gifter likely will never know, whereas we can’t hide a car disappearing.

Talk to the children. Thank them for the wonderful gift and tell them what you have told us. If the changing circumstances mean you need the money for something else, then it would be strange to give them the money back whether it feels ‘wrong’ to be selling the car or not. If it is that you can’t manage the upkeep of a classic car any more, then perhaps one of the children would like to take it on. If they don’t, and you don’t need the money, perhaps use some of it to do something nice as a family. Everyone will be a lot happier if you agree on the way forward between you.

That's the best response I've ever seen on this section.

It's perfect!

Sachakins

Simply put NO.

primrose_penguin

I agree with most others, tell your children you have had a wonderful time over the ? years since they bought you the classic car and you were so grateful for their kind gift, but things have changed (and only you know what),so you are going to sell it to buy another car or whatever, it will still represent their gift. If you have any money left over then have a nice meal out together or something else, but yes do let them know what you are going to do, it is always good to talk and it saves a lot of resentment. I am sure when they gave you this gift they did not expect you to keep it forever, it has brought you much joy, that is what will hopefully please your children.