Job seeking

monkey-fingers

Veloflyer said:

This is certainly the case here. My son has the ability to progress, but lack of confidence and enthusiasm are certainly factors. Then again, to him, Tesco is just a job. He certainly needs to find out for himself what he is passionate about and then go for it. Again, only he can do that.        

In fairness, any job is "just a job", but you can make it into what it is.

Like you, I'm in IT. I started in a call centre with no relevant qualifications. In 1996, I felt I was winning, earning £14k a year (working 8-6).

I worked my way up into a comfortable number (although obviously wasn't making megabucks, but comfortably into the 40% bracket). Made redundant, I'm now contracting.

Until this came up (and it was by mistake), I've never chased the 6 figure salaries - far too much like hard work (and tax!)

Grumpy_chap

Veloflyer said:

 My son has the ability to progress, but lack of confidence and enthusiasm are certainly factors. .        

The enthusiasm might come when he has a need to be enthusiastic about getting a job.

Confidence won't happen until he gets a job and the longer he is not in gainful purpose, his confidence will potentially reduce.

Your son is 21.

You probably don't want him to end up like my nephew.
He's 27 and just due to start his first job.
His parents are so very proud of him.
Others might say that it's jolly well about time he got a job.
He has a 1st class engineering degree.
He has zero social skills or confidence.
He has been mollycoddled at home and given everything on a plate.

Marcon

Veloflyer said:

Marcon said:

Veloflyer said:

Volunteering for anything is out of the question. He needs to earn his keep.  

You're the main reason he doesn't need to earn his keep...

Partly I would say - and only at present. There are a few more reasons - the dearth of suitable jobs in this miserable country, his own failure at school to obtain qualifications, his lack of motivation, sky high rental costs and the cost of living in general. To me a decent job is fundamental. From there, many other things fall into place.    

He doesn't have to stay in the UK.

He failed to get any qualifications, so remedying that is entirely in his hands.

Motivation is down to him.

He can't afford to rent a place of his own, shared or otherwise. Paying him to leave home is a parenting issue as much as anything!

Everyone has to deal with the cost of living, not just a 21 year old with a part time job and no motivation to get something full time.

At some point both you and your son need to face reality, which is often much more painful than it sounds - but the alternative isn't great...

Interesting to read this comment from you on https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81793936#Comment_81793936

I forgot to mention the male ego - in so far as ceasing work for many blokes means a loss of credibility and self-worth. An old-fashioned perspective perhaps, but then again I am a child of the 60s...  

I wonder how much of that is impacting your thought processes in relation to your son? It's hard to see how you can divorce your take on life/work/careers with what you would like for him.

Grumpy_chap

I was thinking of this thread as we were out for dinner this evening.

Our Waiter was, frankly, pretty awful and made many mistakes.  In speaking with him, it transpired this is his first shift. 

There are many reasons why a new member of staff on one of the busiest evenings of the year is less than ideal from pretty much everyone's perspective.

However, this individual has shown their hunger to work and get on with the job.  That will see them far in life.

There are probably a good number of people who would resist giving up their New Year's Eve to do the job yet, potentially, still expect the job to be there next week.

Silvertabby

Armed Forces?  It's more than just running and shooting - there are any number of specialist trades to choose from.  

Altior

'miserable country' is quite the call, I guess we are all entitled to our opinion! There are some miserable things about it, perhaps. Overall, hard to argue in my view it's not net positive for now. A high percentage of young blokes living in other countries around the world would probably swap their life for your son's in a heartbeat. 

It's not clear to me why you feel so accountable for him still. 

Veloflyer

It's not clear to me why you feel so accountable for him still.

Easy one there. He's my son.

Veloflyer

Silvertabby said:

Armed Forces?  It's more than just running and shooting - there are any number of specialist trades to choose from.  

Yes indeed - as ex Army I know this fine well. The RAF may well be more suitable for him. Lots going for the military - learning a trade being just one of the benefits.

Veloflyer

Marcon said:

Veloflyer said:

Marcon said:

Veloflyer said:

Volunteering for anything is out of the question. He needs to earn his keep.  

You're the main reason he doesn't need to earn his keep...

Partly I would say - and only at present. There are a few more reasons - the dearth of suitable jobs in this miserable country, his own failure at school to obtain qualifications, his lack of motivation, sky high rental costs and the cost of living in general. To me a decent job is fundamental. From there, many other things fall into place.    

He doesn't have to stay in the UK.

He failed to get any qualifications, so remedying that is entirely in his hands.

Motivation is down to him.

He can't afford to rent a place of his own, shared or otherwise. Paying him to leave home is a parenting issue as much as anything!

Everyone has to deal with the cost of living, not just a 21 year old with a part time job and no motivation to get something full time.

At some point both you and your son need to face reality, which is often much more painful than it sounds - but the alternative isn't great...

Interesting to read this comment from you on https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81793936#Comment_81793936

I forgot to mention the male ego - in so far as ceasing work for many blokes means a loss of credibility and self-worth. An old-fashioned perspective perhaps, but then again I am a child of the 60s...  

I wonder how much of that is impacting your thought processes in relation to your son? It's hard to see how you can divorce your take on life/work/careers with what you would like for him.

Not sure why I should divorce myself from that take. Having self-worth and credibility is as much a worthy aspiration for him as it surely is for anyone else.   

Silvertabby

Veloflyer said:

Silvertabby said:

Armed Forces?  It's more than just running and shooting - there are any number of specialist trades to choose from.  

Yes indeed - as ex Army I know this fine well. The RAF may well be more suitable for him. Lots going for the military - learning a trade being just one of the benefits.

We are both ex RAF (him 29 years, me 22) so I'm probably biased but, yes, I also get the feeling that the RAF may be more suitable for this lad.  

I was admin, and my husband was an aircraft tech - but there are so many more options if he doesn't fancy a (mostly) office job or doesn't have the qualifications for a technical apprenticeship. 

And basic training should give him the kick up the bum he needs !

ADD.  The pension possibly isn't as good as it was in our day (are you also AFPS75?) but it's still better than anything the private sector can offer.  Even if he only stays in for a few years it will be a boost to his eventual retirement funds.  Plus his training and experience will make him more attractive to future employers.