Job seeking

Veloflyer

To clarify - he is living in rented accommodation and I sub him because initially at least he could not afford the rent as he had less hours than he has now. Plus it goes to his mortgage deposit and gives him time to find a decent job. However, I fully appreciate the disadvantages of so doing and the entitlement attitude it engenders. Certainly part of the reason for the original question of how to obtain a decent job was to provide a reason for me not subbing him in future - though I guess subbing him now may be part of the problem.

I'm also guilty of believing he thinks like me. I would be trying extremely hard to find some way of paying it back - or at least some of it. Not sure if he has such scruples. In addition, fair to say life is a little easier at our house with him at a distance - as with many 21 year old sons if my father recalls right. The unspoken deal is I sub him for peace and quiet. 

I feel a frank and honest discussion regarding New Year's resolutions is in the offing.     

   

      

kimwp

He should volunteer to get experience on his CV and referees. Also Aldi is supposed to be quite good for recognising talent. 

dancing_star

If you're in a rural area then farms are often looking for labourers. A lot are happy to train people up from no experience and depending on the type of farm there can be loads of options - machinery maintenance, livestock work, land/tractor work, fencing/treework, cleaning/washing. 
Might not seem the obvious but my friends have employed young people straight from A levels who have thrived, and young people sick of retail etc wanting something different. Getting out of bed before the crack of dawn is usually a necessity though...

Marcon

Veloflyer said:

To clarify - he is living in rented accommodation and I sub him because initially at least he could not afford the rent as he had less hours than he has now. Plus it goes to his mortgage deposit and gives him time to find a decent job. However, I fully appreciate the disadvantages of so doing and the entitlement attitude it engenders. Certainly part of the reason for the original question of how to obtain a decent job was to provide a reason for me not subbing him in future - though I guess subbing him now may be part of the problem.

I'm also guilty of believing he thinks like me. I would be trying extremely hard to find some way of paying it back - or at least some of it. Not sure if he has such scruples. In addition, fair to say life is a little easier at our house with him at a distance - as with many 21 year old sons if my father recalls right. The unspoken deal is I sub him for peace and quiet. 

I feel a frank and honest discussion regarding New Year's resolutions is in the offing.     

   

      

You refer to 'our house' - is there a second parent, or other family member, who might be able to add - um - encouragement to your son to start behaving like an adult, which must of course mean that you treat him like one? If you stop bribing him to the tune of £10K+ a year to live somewhere other than at home, that points towards looking for a job (or a volunteering opportunity) which includes accommodation. Maybe that's the starting point for the frank and honest discussion?

Good luck!

Veloflyer

Volunteering for anything is out of the question. He needs to earn his keep.  

kimwp

Veloflyer said:

Volunteering for anything is out of the question. He needs to earn his keep.  

If he's only working a part time job, then if he also volunteers, he will demonstrate to a future employer that he can be relied on for full time hours.

Grumpy_chap

Veloflyer said:

Volunteering for anything is out of the question. He needs to earn his keep.  

He is not earning his keep at present. 
You are just endowing him with £850 every month and he has no need to bother to seek to earn his keep.
To be blunt, the only way he will ever get any motivation to pull his socks up and secure viable full time employment is if he ceases to get the monthly allowance.
You can simply stop the monthly allowance.
You can make the monthly allowance conditional upon some fairly tough requisites - evidence of job search activity, career-focused training, manual labour at your house cleaning / decorating / washing the car / gardening and such like.
You can set in motion a gradual withdrawal of the monthly allowance so that the shock is lessened and he has the time to adapt.
You can carry on just giving the monthly allowance and allow fiscal drag to decrease the value until it eventually forces him to get a full time job.
You can carry on just giving the monthly allowance and keep it increasing with inflation.

This might well be something you need to take as your New Year's Resolution to resolve. 
Some of the options will achieve the outcome you desire:

Veloflyer said:

my 21 year old son. obtain a half decent permanent job 

Some of the options will never support that outcome being realised.

Marcon

Veloflyer said:

Volunteering for anything is out of the question. He needs to earn his keep.  

You're the main reason he doesn't need to earn his keep...

Veloflyer

Grumpy_chap said:

Veloflyer said:

Volunteering for anything is out of the question. He needs to earn his keep.  

He is not earning his keep at present. 
You are just endowing him with £850 every month and he has no need to bother to seek to earn his keep.
To be blunt, the only way he will ever get any motivation to pull his socks up and secure viable full time employment is if he ceases to get the monthly allowance.
You can simply stop the monthly allowance.
You can make the monthly allowance conditional upon some fairly tough requisites - evidence of job search activity, career-focused training, manual labour at your house cleaning / decorating / washing the car / gardening and such like.
You can set in motion a gradual withdrawal of the monthly allowance so that the shock is lessened and he has the time to adapt.
You can carry on just giving the monthly allowance and allow fiscal drag to decrease the value until it eventually forces him to get a full time job.
You can carry on just giving the monthly allowance and keep it increasing with inflation.

This might well be something you need to take as your New Year's Resolution to resolve. 
Some of the options will achieve the outcome you desire:

Veloflyer said:

my 21 year old son. obtain a half decent permanent job 

Some of the options will never support that outcome being realised.

His "allowance" will now be reduced by 100 per month each month. He accepts this and the need to find a decent job. Hopefully this will provide the motivation to do so. However, this does not answer the original question of how to go about it. I cannot be of much help and I loathe being critical of his position without offering some solutions to it.

Veloflyer

Marcon said:

Veloflyer said:

Volunteering for anything is out of the question. He needs to earn his keep.  

You're the main reason he doesn't need to earn his keep...

Partly I would say - and only at present. There are a few more reasons - the dearth of suitable jobs in this miserable country, his own failure at school to obtain qualifications, his lack of motivation, sky high rental costs and the cost of living in general. To me a decent job is fundamental. From there, many other things fall into place.