Job seeking

Veloflyer

Thanks all - for info he is currently temporary at Tesco doing general duties. He would like permanent, but not forthcoming at present. It pays, but that's about it. I give him quite a bit to supplement the meagre income. Possible scope for advancement, but he needs something with more prospects and something to get his teeth into. It used to be called a career - do they exist anymore?   

Desmond_Hume

They do exist, yes. Lots in fact. He’s got to have a vision and goal though. Which - to be blunt - I’m not reading here. 

Savvy_Sue

Chop-D said:

He could try applying for an NHS role. Health Care Support Worker might be a good role as full training is provided. Extra pay for some unsocial hours can also give a decent boost to pay. NHS job search here: https://www.jobs.nhs.uk/candidate. 

Another possible role might be Hospital Porter: friend's son did that through Uni - and beyond when job in his degree field proved elusive. 

Savvy_Sue

Did he enjoy the HND? What transferrable skills does he have?

As to 'careers', I'm not sure they exist in the way they used to, or that 'young people today' are necessarily looking for one. But then, I never looked for one either: glad to have jobs I generally enjoyed without devoting all my energy to them. Admin, before you ask: the kind of thing which many people hate ... 

itsthelittlethings

Veloflyer said:

Thanks all - for info he is currently temporary at Tesco doing general duties. He would like permanent, but not forthcoming at present. It pays, but that's about it. I give him quite a bit to supplement the meagre income. Possible scope for advancement, but he needs something with more prospects and something to get his teeth into. It used to be called a career - do they exist anymore?   

How long has he been there? I think you may be getting ahead of yourself. It’s not good to get “stuck” somewhere but a period of stability on a CV is very valuable. Is he part time? If he’s full time, you say you’re currently giving him quite a bit, unless he’s living independently in a very high cost area, is this necessary?

Veloflyer

They do exist, yes. Lots in fact. He’s got to have a vision and goal though. Which - to be blunt - I’m not reading here.

..and you would not be far wrong. He also needs a kick up the rear, but in that respect, he is no different to many of his age. O tempora o mores perhaps. Only he can change that one. 

How long has he been there? I think you may be getting ahead of yourself. It’s not good to get “stuck” somewhere but a period of stability on a CV is very valuable. Is he part time? If he’s full time, you say you’re currently giving him quite a bit, unless he’s living independently in a very high cost area, is this necessary?

Around a year or so. Part time. It's not great but it is a job. I give him 850 per month - which I know is a wage. Perhaps I shouldn't, but I view it as an early inheritance. Better now when he needs it rather than later. It goes on rent/food/ etc - or so I'm told.....I am minded to reduce it to act as an incentive.

Thanks for the NHS links - maybe useful. 

 

Grumpy_chap

Veloflyer said:

I give him quite a bit to supplement the meagre income. 

When I saw this I was going to ask whether you are making life too comfortable for him.
Post education, 21 yo, a proper fully fledged adult really at the point to make his own way and yet still in receipt of pocket money.  

Then I saw this:

Veloflyer said:

He also needs a kick up the rear, but in that respect, he is no different to many of his age. 

I give him 850 per month - which I know is a wage. Perhaps I shouldn't, but I view it as an early inheritance.  

I was, frankly, shocked.

I agree with the early inheritance when it is needed to a certain extent, but not to the point of being wholly subsidised to the point of not needing to work and having no incentive to do so.  

It really does look as though you need to be less nice and make life uncomfortable with a very firm kick up the rear.  Leave him to his own devices and he will see the realities of life.  It may be tough.  It will certainly be a character-building life-lesson.

The OP might find it worth reading through the following threads that cover some of the matters the OP seems to be experiencing:

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6646137/neet/p1

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6576894/20-year-old-sons-rent/p1

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6598540/need-advice-on-lazy-son/p1

Marcon

Veloflyer said:

They do exist, yes. Lots in fact. He’s got to have a vision and goal though. Which - to be blunt - I’m not reading here.

..and you would not be far wrong. He also needs a kick up the rear, but in that respect, he is no different to many of his age. O tempora o mores perhaps. Only he can change that one. 

How long has he been there? I think you may be getting ahead of yourself. It’s not good to get “stuck” somewhere but a period of stability on a CV is very valuable. Is he part time? If he’s full time, you say you’re currently giving him quite a bit, unless he’s living independently in a very high cost area, is this necessary?

Around a year or so. Part time. It's not great but it is a job. I give him 850 per month - which I know is a wage. Perhaps I shouldn't, but I view it as an early inheritance. Better now when he needs it rather than later. It goes on rent/food/ etc - or so I'm told.....I am minded to reduce it to act as an incentive.

Thanks for the NHS links - maybe useful. 

 

You give him a tax-free allowance of £850 a month, board and lodging, and even start posting here looking for help on how to find a suitable career for him.  Using the excuse that it's an 'early inheritance when he needs it...' - that sounds more like justifying it to yourself than anything. 

Ever wondered if possibly the biggest barrier to your son getting a job, never mind a career, might be you? He's 21, in good health and based wholly on what you've posted, has no real incentive to change the status quo.

Yes, the job market is very tough indeed, but why would he bother to engage when you're doing everything for him and ensuring he doesn't really need to? 

Veloflyer said:

... he needs something with more prospects and something to get his teeth into. It used to be called a career - do they exist anymore?   

You might think that but unless he thinks it too - and more to the point takes action to make it happen - nothing is going to change.

Having said all the above, I'm well aware that you are far from the only parent anxious on behalf of their offspring in what is an uncertain and hostile world, especially when it comes to finding work. In your shoes I'd probably be doing much the same, so I have more sympathy than you might have concluded from what I've written - but sympathy isn't going to solve the issue.

Maybe time to rewrite the rulebook so that he 'earns' his allowance, whether it's by helping round the house, doing some volunteer work, or completing some of the many free online courses which might increase his job prospects?

Grumpy_chap

Marcon said:

You give him a tax-free allowance of £850 a month, board and lodging

I have to admit I had also understood the thread initially that the OP's sone still lived "at home" with the OP, but then the following comment cast doubt on that understanding:

Veloflyer said:

I give him 850 per month
It goes on rent/food/ etc - or so I'm told.

Perhaps the OP could clarify?

Either way, at the age of 21 it is time for the son to start playing "adults" properly with all the challenges and responsibilities that entails.

saajan_12

Veloflyer said:

I give him 850 per month - which I know is a wage. Perhaps I shouldn't, but I view it as an early inheritance. Better now when he needs it rather than later. It goes on rent/food/ etc - or so I'm told.....I am minded to reduce it to act as an incentive.

Living out with rent paid isn't really living independently. The worry with inheritances at all is it disincentivises creating the patterns early which would last him for his working lifetime. Your 850 a month may not last all his live, and when it runs out, he may be too old to change habits. 

I'd give him a couple of months notice and then cut it off entirely - if he has to get extra hours to cover bills, that will be teh incentive to work up and get a higher hourly rate which can turn into a career. Eg food service worker -> manager, receptionist -> building manager -> admin staff, etc. Or for a softer approach, allow him to move home instead, to replace the money you're spending on his rent (though he should still cover bills, food, subscriptions, etc. Presumably he moved to avoid parents 'cramping his style' so he still has the incentive to move and cover his own rent, but he's not homeless.